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[jaxy15]

Shakalaka ambush.
My speardwarf gets attacked first, and thanks to her epic lance made from a material slightly better than Adamantine, she was able to hold off these invaders.
She got lots of wounds, and she's wandering back in the fort like nothing happened.

[Sphalerite]

Recently, a massive wave of elven and goblin ambushes arrived at the gates of Ibmatstukos.  They all died, of course.  On going through the piles of recaptured crap they left behind, I find one 'Well-crafted dwarf hair ring".

Ew.

I think I'm giving it back to the elves.

[drkpaladin]

I just realized while playing with the naming generator that I could embark on a terrifying glacier named, Icescreams the Bitter Fruity Delight of Nightmares.   So thats what I have to do next!

In other news Boltcarnage has now reached population 157.  The unending wave of migrants continues even though no industry exists besides making beds, doors, and cabinets for the migrants (plus bone and leather armor for the military).  Food industry is limited to butchering all the animals they keep bringing and cooking seeds, farming is non-existant, as migrant plant gatherers are put to work for booze production and seed roasts are traded for ale and wine.  The military is now over 70 strong, and the baron the the mayor eagerly awaits a seige or string of ambushes so that Boltcarnage can continue to draft and equip migrants into the military with scimitars, scourges, whips, and daggers.  Opinion polls of the mayor and the baron continue to rise as they demand more millstones and prohibit the trade of dog tooth crafts. As the BOOZE index dropped below 1000 points for the first time in the fort's short history, a small 3x3 pig tail farm is being considered, opponents of the plan for the farm point out that this slight alcohol recession is due to the death of renowned legendary herbalist MIGRANTTRASH #39, and the hauling jobs created when he and his attackers were all torn limb from limb.

Trashmigrant #135 was saved after being found on the top of an inaccessible tower nearly starved and desperately hunting vermin.  !!Scientists!! are baffled as to how he wound up on top of the tower.  He did however manage to use a rotting goblin foot as bait for vermin and survived until a random passerby heard his complaints about being unable to dump the rotting foot.  When asked how he got up there, he just replied that he was happy to be out of the rain.  Friends and family of the dwarf were unable to be reached, as it turns out that #135 was unloved except for his cavy sow pet.

[Renzuko]

WELL! i am f*cking AMAZED by the power of 8 skill-less steel dwarves, compared to 1 steel dwarf with a spear and lvl 5 speardwarf skill+armor skill, and 7 other random stone/moss/jade dwarves with various weapon skills...

i had stupidly decided to take the advice from another thread, which was just put 3 serrated steel discs in each trap, instead of 10, so, i dismantled my line of steel serrated disc traps in my entrance, and made them again...but the mechanics never got around to it

and...

A VILE FORCE ARRIVES!!! (playing genesis)

a siege of werewolves, about 13 of them, i kinda shrugged it off, i figured my skill'd armor'd and weapon'd dwarves would be fine...

my f*cking air mephit that i tied up in the entrance took out more wolves then the other guys, it got one out of the 13, my armor'd and weapon'd dwarves? got slaughtered by the wrestler's, i decided that my reserve forces should come in to help, so i set my skill-less steel dwarves to gather where the other dwarves were fighting, in the mean-time, those dwarves got slaughtered...and my skill-less steel dwarves slaughtered the other 12 werewolves, with the help of my acid mephit

[caknuck]

Just had a metalcrafter go fey (f'yeah!). He quickly grabbed some silver nuggets, copper bars and citrines, producing a copper trumpet. Considering that he likes both copper and trumpets, this may have been the least surprising artifact ever.

His name: Cilob Dastotishlum. That's right, my new legendary metalcrafter is Cilob Swordnuts. Not surprisingly, he is single.

[FrisianDude]

Starting a new one because I fucked up the previous one. My only regret is that I now no longer have a legendary engraver (he was a pleasure to watch at work.)

[Knick]

Finally found my magma pipe.  Dug out a small tunnel with space for workshops on top.  Set up a series of doors to make sure the magma did not escape.

I then set my engraver in to smooth the wall to the magma pipe, and then carve fortifications.  He did so, but promptly hung around until he burned to death.  Not the brightest.

I wonder if I could have been a bit more clever and saved him?

[Eric Blank]

My fort is proceeding frighteningly well. Nobody is dead yet, and nothing has tried to change that besides the occasional badger, who are also being suspiciously quiet lately... My militia needs proper training, but they're stuck with a barracks and traditional techniques for the moment, and at the rate that sort of training proceeds they probably won't be able to beat a single unarmed, unarmored goblin for several years, at which point they will of course be expected to take on entire sieges alone.

And once again I forget to perform any sort of trading with any of the merchants for an entire year...

[Musashi]

First, you must know my mayor was a barely-pubescent girl with a love for billon and crowns, among others.
One of the first thing she wants is a billon item. Just a brilliant thing to ask for on a map where there isn't any iron ore and copper hadn't been discovered yet, but I manage to make good use of golinite and caravans to fix that. Before the end of that mandate, she also starts demanding a billon table in her dinner room. But by the time I get around to actually make the one last billon bar necessary for her to shut it, bam, I'm one day late, therefore, it's the butchering broker's fault, therefore, it's jail time for him. Nobody gives him any water, and he dies of dehydration one day after his release. Oh, well, fair game, I guess, it makes the game more challenging.
(I still think her second season of... mayordom is quite a bit early to start making demands, but I roll along with it.)
Next thing she does: banning the export of some metal items, billon, I guess. Hah, piece of cake. The caravan arrives, and I trade shittons of crafts for more useful crap.
The following happens in this very exact order, with a day between each happening.
-The mandate is finished. (That is when, I recognize, I should have started being suspicious and taken preemptive measures.)
-Merchants pack up their new souvenirs, and leave the trade depot.
-The mayor bans instead export of crowns.
-Merchants leave the map.
-3 dwarfs are owed a beating (two of which ended up at the hospital*), 3 more end up in jail.
At this moment, I am entirely certain she did it on purpose, and I loudly claim my everlasting !!hate!! of teenagers, while swearing to release wild badgers and yaks in her dining room should she pull off that bullshit again.

Skip to a few months later. A flying Forgotten Beast comes, and due to the configuration of both my fort and the caverns and the lack of threatening ability, I decide the best solution is to station one squad of melee fighters and another one of crossbowdwarfs on a subterranean roof and fight it the good ol' way. I enroll the last hunters I hadn't yet, including the mayor (remember: she was a child when she had arrived at my fort, and I tend to make peasants into archers, therefore she started adulthood as a hunter briefly before being elected). Long story short, the flying ribbon worm snaps her spine in two, shakes her by the head, and is killed before causing any other casualty. The bloody teenager suffocates alone right after everybody else has left the battlefield.
Sweet, sweet karmic retribution. 
And now, I got a new mayor with a large family, and almost equally crappy tastes. Maybe I should make him into an archer, too.




*in case you wonder, I only make crossbowdwarfs with wooden ranger weapons into captains of the guard, therefore most beaten criminals survive. It is not absolutely foolproof, as a rabid agent of the law will always bite some guy's head off if they really want to, but it is an infinitely wiser decision than appointing axedwarfs instead.

[TolyK]

I blew the cobwebs off my save, then I remembered I have a succession game to play. 
...
 

better get onto it 
....
OMG WHAT THE ....

[Naryar]

As a general rule, mayors are useless.

[bucket]

Latest product of a moody dwarf: a perfect clear garnet worth 96000 dorfbux.

[FrisianDude]

First time the elves came 'round in this fortress. I bought three black bears off of them.

[Musashi]

As a general rule, mayors are useless.

Nope, they aren't. They're the only thing separating me form the next shipment of stuff to make iron and steel. And now the last diplomat left unhappy, I can postpone the decent equipment of my military by at least one more year. But at least, she's gone now! 

EDIT: shit, she's asking for 2 bismuth items now. Oh, for fuck's sake.

[quintilius]

The Forgotten Beast Snodub Usbuakon has come! An enormous blob composed of vomit.
...
The flying {fungiwood bolt} strikes The Forgotten Beast in the body chipping it!
...
Dead Forgotten Beast... corpse - Weight 11999 of Vomit....

WTF

o-r-o - dont bring that thing into my fortress you little morons