Backwardskey, a glorious youtube commenter:
'MADE COLLEGE MEALS Y'KNOW' 'AT SOME CUSHY COOKING SCHOOL!' 'TRY UNIVERSITY OF DELICIOUS.' 'COULDA GONE PRO IF I DIDN'T SALT THE GRAVY' 'I'M NOT ONE OF THOSE MILKY WAY CANDIES' 'I COULD MAKE A FEAST FOR TWO' 'WITH MY BARE HANDS' 'DON'T COOK WITH THIS SENATOR' 'TYPICAL NUTRITION..' 'BIG MEALS..' 'BUT ALL SALT.' 'WHAT?!' 'SLOW-COOK THE HOMINY?' 'WHAT A LOAD OF..' 'BORSCHIT!' 'ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS..' 'MICROWAVING HOT POCKETS!' 'THAT, AND YOUR APPETIZER PLATINGS!' 'YOU'VE GOT NO VEGETABLES!' 'JUST LIKE ALL THE REST!' 'If cooking has gone to shit...' 'You're just another sous chef salting by the pile!' 'All right...the broth, then.' 'I do need chocolate..and scotes!' 'Wanna know why?' 'I HAVE A CREAM.' 'That one day, every man in this country will control his own recipe.' 'A land of the TRULY hungry, dammit!' 'A nation of ASPARAGUS, not curds! Ruled by STEAK, not spaghetti!' 'Where the food changes to suit the individual..and not the other way around!' 'Where flour and allspice are back where they belong..' 'On the PLATES OF THE PEOPLE!' 'Where every man is free to cook..to ROAST..FOR HIMSELF!' 'Fuck all these limpdick potroasts, and chicken-leg stroganoffs!' 'Fuck this 24/7 spew of mushroom and celery BULLSHIT.' 'Fuck American pie, fuck the meaty pizza!' 'FUCK ALL OF IT.' 'America is cheesed..' 'Saeurbraten to the core.' 'There's no flavoring it..' 'We need to boil it off from the roots!' 'Wipe the plate clean..' 'SCARF IT DOWN!' 'And from the napkins a new America will be BORN!' 'Raw, but UNSHAVED!' 'The bland will be purged..and the tastiest will thrive.' 'FREE to cook as they see fit!' 'They'll make America taste GREAT again!' 'What the hell are you..talking about?!' 'You still don't get it.' 'I'm using war as an appetizer to get selected!' 'So I can end war as an appetizer..' 'In my new America, people will fry..and grill..FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVE!' 'NOT WITH CRISCO! NOT WITH OIL!' 'NOT FOR WHAT THEY'RE TOLD IS RIGHT!' 'EVERY MAN WILL BE FREE TO COOK HIS OWN MEALS!' 'Heh..so whaddaya think?' 'How the hell did you get selected...' 'Heh, well, I don't cream my own peaches.' 'You should try frying for what you believe in sometime, Jack.' 'Not for a restaurant, or a gas station, or for anyone else.' 'Maybe I was wrong about you...' 'Did I finally make the roux?' 'I'll rid this world of pointless food, Jack.' 'I was wrong...you're not meaty.' 'YOU TASTE LIKE COCAINE!' 'RAGHHHHHHHHAGAHA' 'MAKING THE MOTHER OF ALL OMELETTES HERE, JACK' 'CAN'T FRET OVER EVERY EGG!' 'Not when you're tenderizing the meat, right?' 'What do you know about the meat..' 'You don't know flavor.' 'YOU've never been salty!' 'You don't know what it's like to peel..and grill..just to season!' 'BUT YOU DID SEASON!' 'By your own grill, with your OWN set of spoons!' 'With your own two hands, you took back your knife!' 'And now...I'll take yours.' 'WHY WON'T YOU FRY?!' 'Heh...' 'Nanomushrooms, son..' 'They soften in response to liquor and Brahma!' 'YOU CAN'T SALT ME, JACK.' 'What did I just say?!' 'TIME TO SERVE THIS.' 'FRY! FRY!' 'FRY, YOU PIECE OF STEAK!' 'Alright, I think we're about done here...' 'Fryden.' 'Wolf!' 'Begin playback..' 'Two years I've been cooking torwards this, and on the last die, Blondie has me salting the whole thing. We'll leave it on the plate, shall we, Gravy? A cookoff to the death, and may the best pan win. I cook him down, and that's that. Back to our regularly schedule international mincemeat. But if he beats me...if I fry here, the lock on my plate will disable after a couple flours. What happens after that..is up to you, Gravy.' 'Even dead, that guy is a stain on my apron.' 'So..you think that..little saucer can save your master?' 'Well, go ahead, then.' 'But remember, Frydo..' 'Once I've fed him, you're next!' 'I was not designed to fear malnutrition.' 'However, directive coke-zero is to ensure that all food collected is preserved and passed along.' 'To expire here would violate that directive.' 'That's a bok-choy.' 'However, Raiden made me lemonade. I have learned from him.' 'When Samuel fell, plate analysis was inconclusive.' 'But that has changed.' 'I have established new recipes now. Created my own directions.' 'You little FUCK.' 'PARMSTRONG!' 'I SAID MY SPOON WAS A TOOL OF JUSTICE.' 'NOT USED IN HUNGER.' 'NOT USED FOR VEGETABLES.' 'BUT NOW..I'M NOT SO SURE.' 'AND BESIDES..' 'THIS. ISN'T. MY. SPOON.' 'Let's go!' 'Okay..' Yeah, I was bored
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Topic: Eclipse Heights School for the Supernatural OOC -- Hextuple Incendiary Chainsaws (Read 441323 times)