Well. In my experience there are three kinds of action movies: Ones that are believable enough that, despite having plenty of action, they don't require a truckload of suspension of disbelief to swallow; comedic ones that make a joke about how silly they are and end up being quite enjoyable because of it, and finally those who take themselves painfully seriously despite being completely over-the-top and unrealistic. Like this movie. Or the Expendables (or most of Stallone's
old movies, for that matter).
At least 40% of the entire movie was plot armour and Stormtrooper Accuracy
TM.
There are few things I hate more in a movie than moments where the baddies unload a heap of ammo at the main characters and miss pathetically, only for the main characters to respond by popping up and gunning them all down with pinpoint accuracy- from a fucking
moving vehicle. If they were full of Bloodshot-style nanocomputers making them into infallible killing machines I would understand, but this was just pure unadulterated bullshit.
It didn't help that Max in this film was such an unlikable prick. The main reason I liked the originals (well, the second film at least- the first one was good for nothing but the villains hairdo or as an example of old school low-budget Aussie cinema) was that Max really was a self-serving non-hero. Pretty much every action he took in the second film, as far as I can remember, was either in hopes of profiting from it or because the alternative was dying.
(The second film still was pretty dumb action-wise, don't get me wrong, but at least the main character was less annoying.)
I was expecting an action movie, and I will admit that I didn't particularly expect to like it from the start, but then I've expected to
hate films in the past and then quite liked them when I actually saw them. The Hunger Games, for example.
I was just unprepared for quite
how terrible this movie was going to be.
A friend I saw it with described some scenes as a sort of 'Fisher Price: My First Apocalypse' or 'My First Revolution', and I thought that fit rather well.
At least it looked pretty. I was going to put an "and even though..." sentence here, but I couldn't think of any real redeeming features. Dang.
Perhaps I'm especially disappointed in this movie because it cost me something like $16 to see, but if I had been watching it at home for free I would have stopped halfway through. Anyway, if you'll excuse me I'm going to go watch some good films to wash the taste of this one out of my mouth- I'm still in a bad mood and I saw the movie yesterday (although the bad mood could be due to something else, who knows).
Tl;dr: Intensely mediocre.
My original two-word review, preserved for posterity.
Edit: Oh man, now that I think of it, a Bloodshot movie would probably be awesome. Has that ever been a thing?
Also @aqizzar: Not sure I'd call that metal, although the music truck was kinda cool. Would have been nice if more of the soundtrack was in that vein, though, rather than the cheesy generic strings going on throughout most of the movie. Seriously, in the scene where Max is trying to save cybernetic-arm-lady the music got ridiculous. Then again, maybe if you actually cared about either of the characters it would have been quite moving...