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[Neonivek]

I dunno, I've been kind of depressed for months and months now with little pockets of denial thrown in.

I havn't really been keeping very good care of myself and don't really go out all much anymore... Nor do I have anywhere to go.

I've been on antidepressants before back when I saw a psychiatrist, and not that... that is out of the question for the most part...

They would certainly help but what made me stop taking them 'early' last time was that they make me very loopy (Basically imagine a me that is very positive and always laughing and compare it to me now) so I develop mania outright.

I kind of wonder if I should go back on them... and if I chose to, how do I even get any without seeing a psychiatrist for a lengthy period of time after a lengthy period of trying to find one...

[Capaverde]

When have you started feeling depressed? How did it start?

You say you have nowhere to go, does that mean you have nothing to do, nothing that interests you? What did you use to be interested in before all this started?

You say you develop mania outright, that can be a side-effect of anti-depressants yes, depending on the person it is being given. Have you ever talked to anyone about it? That might be due to a condition you have and if so it should be diagnosed before you take any more medications.

[Neonivek]

I just fall into depressions for the most part but probably when all my friends abandoned me because they found better ones

As for Mania, yeah the Psychiatrist was well aware of it...

[nenjin]

I'm usually advocating for staying off meds, but, people's brain chemistry be different. I feel like I've struggled with depression my whole life but sort of fight back against it. Making a concentrated effort to change behaviors can result in feeling different. (I won't say better because the spectrum is very wide.) I'm the sort that hates finding things for myself to do so I stay busy and distracted...but there's merit to it too. Even something as mundane as getting a list of chores together and spending a good portion of the day on them can, depending on the reasons for your depression, break the cycle of thinking about feeling depressed and getting more depressed.

Or maybe you just need to shop for the right anti-depressents and/or non-pharmacological ways to affect your mood. (Lights if it's a SAD-kinda thing, sleep therapy if there's an insomnia component, etc...)

[Neonivek]

I've been working on it for months though... I can maybe fight it off for a week or two... but then it just comes back.

[Azerty]

Try to speak to your doctor about the manias your treatment is causing to you.

[Eldin00]

There are a wide variety of anti-depressant drugs out there these days, there may be one which will help you without making you manic. But really, because some of these drugs can have serious side effects, you'd be best off talking to a doctor about your options if at all possible (and depending on what country you are in, there may or may not be any legal way to obtain these drugs without seeing a doctor first).

[Neonivek]

Well I called the doctor in spite my anxiety.

[Capaverde]

I just fall into depressions for the most part but probably when all my friends abandoned me because they found better ones

As for Mania, yeah the Psychiatrist was well aware of it...

How did that go? Do you resent them for that?

And about the mania, did the Psychiatrist prescribe you anything for it? A mood stabilizer maybe?

[Neonivek]

I was "fine" I just acted oddly towards people who knew me. I felt perfectly normal otherwise, albeit in a good mood.

And no I don't resent them. I stopped taking my anti-depressants earlier then expected because I didn't like the social anxiety of people telling me how unusual I've been acting.

[nenjin]

I was "fine" I just acted oddly towards people who knew me. I felt perfectly normal otherwise, albeit in a good mood.

And no I don't resent them. I stopped taking my anti-depressants earlier then expected because I didn't like the social anxiety of people telling me how unusual I've been acting.

Did you ever consider they meant it in a good way?

[Neonivek]

No their descriptions were things like "I'd laugh at everything, even if it wasn't funny"

Which... I do normally... I just don't show anyone except on da internets.

[nenjin]

No their descriptions were things like "I'd laugh at everything, even if it wasn't funny"

Which... I do normally... I just don't show anyone except on da internets.

I mean, don't get me wrong. You're a pretty dour person on the forums and you've been self-described as a nitpicker.

Maybe what they're trying to say is they've never seen you that loose and carefree...able to laugh at something stupid...and maybe that's a good thing.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

I remember back when I was on Prozac, I didn't realize what being "happy" felt like. I eventually got off of them because I thought kind of the same thing, though my reasoning was more along the lines of "Hey, why am I happy? This is a false happiness!" Over time though, I recovered from my depression and now I feel much happier. Essentially as good as I felt when I was on Prozac, what I mean to say is, don't be afraid of that loopy, happy feeling. Give it another chance... and ya know if people ever tell you you're acting oddly, you should tell them to "feck off m8."

EDIT: I'd also like to state that I believe anti-depressants really aren't all too good for you. I do still think they're "false happiness", and frankly i've found that if you ever wanna REALLY be free of depression, whether you're on an anti-depressant or not, is to undergo some lifestyle changes.

[Neonivek]

Yeah I think the major reason I should go back on it is because I am having a LOT of bouts of depressive mood swings brought on by nothing at all.

Antidepressants to my knowledge can normalize those