ehm this is my attempt at help. im not a psychiatrist or anything, i have never been on anti-depressants, and i havent been majorly depressed. so this is just a observation from my side, and im just a person on the internet. thats the disclamer.
throughout this thread, you talk about your emotions as something that happens TO you. like you write "i am having a crying fit" like its a inconvinence that happens to you. shouldnt you write, "i am very sad" instead? its like there is a distance between your feelings and you.
you wrote above that you are aware of why you are depressed. you said you have bunch of issues, one of them is lack of friends. but even if you state those reasons you still see yourself as depressed. i mean, if your life is shitty, are you depressed, or are you just appropriatly sad about the situation? for me thats a big difference.
i have meet people dealing with depression, and to me it always seems like they are very unforgiving against themselves. like blame that they are sad on themselves; "why arent i happy now?". this to me is that distance between the feelings and themselves i mentioned before. but i always want to say to them "you probably have a damn good reason for being sad!". why would you otherwise be it?
and i feel that discover the reason behind the sadness gives you a chance to own up to it, like saying "im sad, and thats okay".
the problem is though, that that discovery may not be easy to do. and then you kind of have to cut yourself some slack, eventhough you dont know the reason behind.
i never dealt with depression really, but i have had some anxiety attacks. and the first time it happened, it was like a lightning from clear sky. i was so suprised it happened, and i didnt take ownership of it all. it was something that happened TO me.
later, through some work, i come to realise that i had tons of reasons for those anxieties. stuff that i didnt acknowledge, and didnt deal with really. and now i rather say that "im sad, and thats okay to be" than "depression hit me" or something that makes feelings a outside thing that happens to you.
i have no idea of why you are depressed, but i think it has to do with some unacknowledged feelings. anger, shame, sadness, it can be anything really, but i think we all have to deal with are feelings sooner or later.
maybe later is better for you, so maybe antidepressants are a solution for the time being, but i think its just a lid on the box of undesired feelings, which wont go away.
so even if you do take medecin, try to search within to find what underlaying feelings there are.
im not saying that you should give in to moodswings and anxieties, but calmy look inside.
this may come of as extremly condesending, and im sorry for that. i just felt that there was a small chance i write something helpfull, and i thought it might be worth the risk of sounding patronizing and ignorant.
also, maybe there is other alternatives to anti-depressants? like changing your life, start jogging everymorning yada yada?
well good luck either way!
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Topic: Should I go back on anti-depressants and how? (Read 7889 times)