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[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Ok

Well the way she's been talking to me lately I think she's coming close to ending the relationship herself.
She says she doesn't want to keep making me feel bad for her and she doesn't want to hurt me anymore .-.
She's not happy with anything about life or her family and is depressed.

I guess I'm just a teenage prick for trying to talk to her about her problems the way you are explaining things to me.
The reason I said "if she doesn't change" is because she's changed a lot since we started dating and she's sure to change more. I'm not being unflexabale, I've changed things to make her happy. I stopped hanging out with friends and being more social to spend time with her.

And how can you say that I don't know what I want? We are two different people, it may have taken you years to figure it out but I know what I want. Someone who loves me, someone who trusts me/won't lie to me/won't cheat on me, someone ok with me joining the military, someone that's as social as me or more so (and I don't get out much at all anyways), and someone who is ok with moving around. That's a person I could live with the rest of my life.

[NullForceOmega]

Ok

Well the way she's been talking to me lately I think she's coming close to ending the relationship herself.
She says she doesn't want to keep making me feel bad for her and she doesn't want to hurt me anymore .-.
She's not happy with anything about life or her family and is depressed.

Relationships fail.  You should be happy for the good times you spent together and hope that things get better for her and for yourself.

I guess I'm just a teenage prick for trying to talk to her about her problems the way you are explaining things to me.
The reason I said "if she doesn't change" is because she's changed a lot since we started dating and she's sure to change more. I'm not being unflexabale, I've changed things to make her happy. I stopped hanging out with friends and being more social to spend time with her.

You aren't being a prick, you lack adequate world experience to make the right calls here, that's part of growing up.  That is why I said to call it a learning experience, you'll be having lots more of them before you actually start figuring things out.

And how can you say that I don't know what I want? We are two different people, it may have taken you years to figure it out but I know what I want. Someone who loves me, someone who trusts me/won't lie to me/won't cheat on me, someone ok with me joining the military, someone that's as social as me or more so (and I don't get out much at all anyways), and someone who is ok with moving around. That's a person I could live with the rest of my life.

Because what you believe you want now, with effectively NO world experience is likely to undergo radical shifts as life takes you in new directions.  It takes EVERYONE years to find the answers to their questions.  Yes we are two different people.  By the time I was your age I had already been shot at, stabbed, thrown out of a third story window, and faced life-or-death situations you cannot even conceive of.  For fuck's sake I got fourteen of my friends killed by starting a fucking gang war.  You don't know anything about the world or the people in it.  I'm not saying it's a bad thing to have an idea of what you want, or even that what you want is unrealistic or unreasonable, I'm saying don't go cementing yourself to ideals that are formed without understanding.  You have DECADES of life ahead of you, and to assume that you have the knowledge necessary to definitively decide 'what you want' at seventeen is the ultimate form of arrogance.  I don't dislike you Cryxis, and I won't be upset with you for disliking me for these words.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Ok
Thank you for the advice, sorry for anything said out of anger

[NullForceOmega]

I'd like to apologize as well, I'm really just trying to say that 'guidelines' like the list of requisites you put in the OP have to bend to reality.  Relationships just can't be a cast in concrete thing, they require a great deal of flexibility, far more than any task besides parenting as far as I can tell (I'm doing both right now, it leaves me completely exhausted most days, this shit is HARD.)  A SO who is okay with you entering the military is not the easiest to find (I joined the Army right out of high school, got both of my knees damaged very badly during training), but they do exist, and you can probably find one who can meet your needs.  Finding one who can match that huge list of 'I want' however is going to be more difficult, relationships in the Armed Forces have en extremely high rate of failure, and having a lot of conditions for what you consider a good relationship will likely strain things heavily.  Most of all don't go into any relationship saying 'is she the one?', just do it for the sake of being with someone you like, it's much healthier.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Ya I've noticed military relationships aren't the best .-.

My sisters boyfriend was going to propose to her but the separation and her not talking to him and he couldn't handle it and they broke up. (She's in the navy)
But my parents got through it ok, I understand the civilian side of it (navy brat :p) and I want someone who can handle that life style. They don't have to meet that whole list just the major things.

If we break up I probably won't get into this serious of a relationship for awhile. I'm definitely trying to mellow out my life and get rid of a bunch of stress.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Well she broke up with me today.
Said she couldn't handle all the stress in her life and have a relationship too. I understand why she did it and I hope this helps get her out of depression and release stress. I'm a bit sad about it but I know this is good for her.
Now I've got to figure out what to do now. I'm thinking of just spending a lot more time with friends.
BTW we have agreed to stay friends since it's something she really can't control and I'm not mad at her or anything so that's good.

[Eldin00]

Spending time with friends, or on activities you enjoy which occupy your mind, would be generally healthy things to do in order to cope with whatever emotional fallout you have over the breakup.

Things to NOT do when dealing with a breakup: Start a new serious relationship. Try to get back together with or make things work with your ex. Spend excessive time alone without some activity to keep you engaged and not dwelling on the breakup.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

I'm also thinking of taking up exercise and meditation.

A couple nights ago meditation (I think that's what it was. I did some stretching then sat and cleared my mind. Prayed a bit. And by the end I was calm.) it worked with relieving some anger/stress

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

I'm guessing it's also I'll advised to get involved in a less serious relationship too
((This was meant to be a question .-.))

[NullForceOmega]

I'd say take a break from the relationship game for a few months at least, let your head sort through the information you've picked up form this breakup before you look for the next thing.

[nenjin]

Yep. After a break up is a good time to swear off looking for a new relationship for a while, doing some introspection and hanging out with your bros.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

So we got back together for a couple weeks then we mutually broke up because it isn't working at all.
I've been half depressed for the past few days and talking to more friends, going to start having friends over during summer to hopefully lessen the sadness. Started talking to a female friend a bit more, still kinda have a crush and nothing really keeping me from wanting to be more than friends now (though that's all we were while I was dating and I wouldn't have thought it any other way whith a GF). One of my other friends said I should try to date her, he told me this only a couple minutes after me telling him I'm single, though I do hate bring single.. Freaking sucks.. Trying to resist urge to find someone to date and not just chill about this crap for awhile

[Kruniac]

So we got back together for a couple weeks then we mutually broke up because it isn't working at all.
I've been half depressed for the past few days and talking to more friends, going to start having friends over during summer to hopefully lessen the sadness. Started talking to a female friend a bit more, still kinda have a crush and nothing really keeping me from wanting to be more than friends now (though that's all we were while I was dating and I wouldn't have thought it any other way whith a GF). One of my other friends said I should try to date her, he told me this only a couple minutes after me telling him I'm single, though I do hate bring single.. Freaking sucks.. Trying to resist urge to find someone to date and not just chill about this crap for awhile

Roflmao. I saw this coming throughout the thread.

I had the exact same thing happen to me two years ago. It sucked. I was miserable for a bit. Then I went back into cocky boss mode, hit the dating sites, found a new broad, and we're happier than ever.

Relationships take practice. You have to shrug sometimes and not worry about things. You can't let problems eat at you, you can't nag too much, you just have to settle down and slip into things. It took me fifteen years to find someone I can be with (and also that amount of time to change my attitude a bit). Forget that old broad of yours. Hell, forget even having a "girlfriend".

After a breakup, you need to focus on YOU. You're emotionally fucked up a bit, you're feeling vulnerable and alone, etc. You need to take the time to heal up before you hit the dungeon again.

Party, talk to AS MANY FEMALES AS POSSIBLE, be happy to be alive and above ground. Don't focus on getting with a broad - that will just happen when you exude confidence and happiness.

I know it's tough to do that, but you have to. The alternative is to immediately seek out a long-term deal and settle back into your (obviously incorrect) way of thinking. You'll end up botching that one for whatever reason and be miserable AGAIN.

Take it easy. You have plenty of time.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

I'm over my EX now.. Probably helped that she entirly stopped talking to me and is ignoring me.

Been trying to hang out with friends more and have been talking to them more than I have been for awhile now. I'm attempting (failing) at being flirty with a female friend. Might be going to the movies with her (and my sister because... Bah forget details) tomorrow. I've already seen it (Mad Max Fury Road) but her and my sister havn't. My sister and I were already going since she wanted to and I figured I would ask my friend if she wanted to go since I thought she wanted to see it.
I'm not really feeling too many emotions over my ex anymore, after talking to friend(s) and her basicaly dropping me like a brick and pondering my life a bit it's dawned on me that we weren't a very good couple and she was weighing me down.
The girl I may be going to the movies with tomorrow I may or may not start dating. All kinda depends on how things go I guess. I'm not ready for another serious relationship but a (lighthearted?) relationship would be entirly fine with me. God knows if I don't go for her my friend probably will so might try to date her just out of friendly competition (that and she's super cute and nice and social and etc etc)
So what if I have a crush? :p

[Jo]

Okay, old man here.

Every single one of us went through this. I joined the military without breaking up with my high school girl friend. I was torture. I'm glad this one ended when it did.

These are freakin' terrible when you are young man. You get used to it though. It's part of the process of becoming a man.

If you don't join the service or if you do something else, you are bailing on that town. You weren't going to drag her with you. Life changes. People have to move on, move up.

Sorry you are feeling bad, but this is how it goes. Knowing that doesn't make it easy. :-(

Good luck brother.

EDIT: Lol, I just saw you are taking another lady out here soon. Nothing gets you over the last one like the next one. :-)       Stay strong man.