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Author Topic: You are a Vampire  (Read 8611 times)

Iituem

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You are a Vampire
« on: May 03, 2015, 01:12:37 am »

You awaken, bleary eyed to the midday sun, with a pounding headache, an ache in your back and a terrible dryness to your throat.  Blocking out the painful light with one arm you fumble amongst your vomit-stained clothes for your wineskin and uncork it, knocking back several glugs of cheap wine.  It does nothing to quench the thirst, and you mentally curse whoever came up with that adage about biting the dog that bit you, or whatever it was.

You shuffle up to a sitting position, discovering the rock that was giving you such a backache.  As you massage the stiffness from your muscles, you take stock of your surroundings.  Greenery, blue skies, a road in the distance and the trickling of a stream nearby.  Wow, last night's bender really must have gotten away with you to end up this far out from town.

You pick yourself up and stumble over towards the stream, cupping your hands and drinking from it.  It isn't enough, so you take another double-handful and drink some more.  What did you even get up to last night?  You remember starting it out with Omo and Nym, and something about hitting the sunberry brandy.  Then at some point you went onto gutter cruor, and that's where things really start getting patchy.

You're onto your fifth drink of water now and that thirst still won't go away.  Gods above, you've never had a hangover this bad before.  You hurriedly drink several more handfuls, panicking with the realisation that none of it is quenching your thirst.  You stick your head under the stream and gulp down water until your belly feels near bursting - and then you just throw it all up (along with a fair bit of wine).

You stare in horror as your effluvia washes away down the stream, desperately racking your brain for what might have happened last night to cause this.  Let's see, there was the pub, then the second pub, then that pair of prostitutes, then... argh, what was it... the clown... throwing up on a mule... getting separated from Omo and Nym, finding some more wine to drink... desecrating a shrine...

...ah, shit.



Spoiler: Options (click to show/hide)
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

micelus

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Re: You are a Vampire
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2015, 01:26:42 am »

Name: Khala
Gender: Female
Occupation: Bard and Vagrant
Race:Goblin
God who's shrine we desecrated: Ulash Escortcurses the Terror of Law, god of forgiveness, mercy, theft.  Typically depicted as a male human.
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Do you hear that, Endra? NONE CAN STAND AGAINST THE POWER OF THE DENTAL, AHAHAHAHA!!!
You win Nakeen
Marduk is my waifu
Inanna is my husbando

~Neri

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Re: You are a Vampire
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2015, 01:44:20 am »

Name: Khala
Gender: Female
Occupation: Bard and Vagrant
Race:Goblin
God who's shrine we desecrated: Ulash Escortcurses the Terror of Law, god of forgiveness, mercy, theft.  Typically depicted as a male human.
+1.

(Although I would prefer a Kobold.)
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Andres

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Re: You are a Vampire
« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2015, 01:46:56 am »

Name: Khala
Gender: Female
Occupation: Bard and Vagrant
Race:Goblin
God who's shrine we desecrated: Ulash Escortcurses the Terror of Law, god of forgiveness, mercy, theft.  Typically depicted as a male human.
+1, except human.
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All fanfics are heresy, each and every one, especially the shipping ones. Those are by far the worst.

Iituem

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Re: You are a Vampire
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2015, 01:54:34 am »

Name: Khala
Gender: Female
Occupation: Bard and Vagrant
Race:Goblin
God who's shrine we desecrated: Ulash Escortcurses the Terror of Law, god of forgiveness, mercy, theft.  Typically depicted as a male human.

What is it with this forum and musical undead?  o_0
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

~Neri

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Re: You are a Vampire
« Reply #6 on: May 03, 2015, 02:08:40 am »

Google "Thriller"

Also google "Skeleton Dance"
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Cheesecake

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Re: You are a Vampire
« Reply #7 on: May 03, 2015, 02:30:23 am »

Name: Khala
Gender: Female
Occupation: Bard and Vagrant
Race:Goblin
God who's shrine we desecrated: Ulash Escortcurses the Terror of Law, god of forgiveness, mercy, theft.  Typically depicted as a male human.

Still a goblin. We need to play more evil creatures.
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I wish I could unwatch a thread because every time I look at this I can feel myself dying faster
Dying of laughter?
Dying of pure unbridled hatred, actually.

Emma

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Iituem

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Re: You are a Vampire
« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2015, 06:08:32 am »

You rub at your beady yellow eyes, trying to acclimate to the sunlight and ignore how parched your throat is.  You look around and spot your harp a little way off, nestled in a bush.  You must have thrown it there last night.  You wander over and pick it up; it's a beautiful thing, elven-made and shaped from elegant white boxwood.  It was a gift from your mentor, the human who taught you his language and the concept of music (which even today seems a little strange to your kobold mind).  Truth be told, you're a strange kobold yourself.  It's been a long time since you left the caverns, and you've become accustomed to living amongst civilisation.  In the last fifteen years you have learnt a wealth of song, poetry and history - enough to realise what has happened to you.

You wince at the hazy memory of the night before.  Finding the shrine unattended and in desperate need to relieve yourself, you are pretty sure you did your business on the altar itself.  Unfortunately, Ulash Escortcurses the Terror of Law, while he might be a god of forgiveness and mercy (and theft, which you always felt rang true to your kobold instincts) has apparently not decided to extend his mercy to yourself.

You look about.  You must be five, ten minutes walk from Stepcrossing, the river town you were at last night.  You can see it in the distance, full of squat wooden houses clustered around a central market by the bridge.  The Red Road (named for its clay brick paving) runs through it, north and south.  Most of the land here is open plains, although there is a copse of woods to the west.  You are terribly thirsty.  What will you do?

Spoiler: Khala (click to show/hide)
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

Andres

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Re: You are a Vampire
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2015, 06:11:49 am »

Be the hero that Stepcrossing deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

I have a feeling that playing as one of these guys pretending to be Batman will be pretty entertaining.
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All fanfics are heresy, each and every one, especially the shipping ones. Those are by far the worst.

LordBucket

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Re: You are a Vampire
« Reply #11 on: May 03, 2015, 06:19:36 am »

What will you do?

Take a drink from the river, quickly recover from the predictable shock of not seeing our reflection in the water, conclude that we're a vampire, wonder briefly why we're not being harmed by the sun, then walk to town. Once there, find the nearest tavern, buy a beer and start playing our harp for tips.

micelus

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Re: You are a Vampire
« Reply #12 on: May 03, 2015, 06:20:53 am »

What will you do?

Take a drink from the river, quickly recover from the predictable shock of not seeing our reflection in the water, conclude that we're a vampire, wonder briefly why we're not being harmed by the sun, then walk to town. Once there, find the nearest seedy-looking tavern, buy a beer and start playing our harp for tips.


+1

Also, if anyone falls asleep/terribly drunk, offer to bring them back home. Make sure to receive your payment.
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Do you hear that, Endra? NONE CAN STAND AGAINST THE POWER OF THE DENTAL, AHAHAHAHA!!!
You win Nakeen
Marduk is my waifu
Inanna is my husbando

Pencil_Art

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Re: You are a Vampire
« Reply #13 on: May 03, 2015, 06:21:28 am »

We tried drinking water already, in the first post.
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LordBucket

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Re: You are a Vampire
« Reply #14 on: May 03, 2015, 06:24:18 am »

...oh, right. Sorry. Then skip the part about the water and head to town, find a tavern, etc. And I guess don't drink the beer. But do buy it so the tavern keeper doesn't kick us out.

For blood, we'll probably want to find a butcher. I don't think we want to start nomming on people right away.

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