You awaken, bleary eyed to the midday sun, with a pounding headache, an ache in your back and a terrible dryness to your throat. Blocking out the painful light with one arm you fumble amongst your vomit-stained clothes for your wineskin and uncork it, knocking back several glugs of cheap wine. It does nothing to quench the thirst, and you mentally curse whoever came up with that adage about biting the dog that bit you, or whatever it was.
You shuffle up to a sitting position, discovering the rock that was giving you such a backache. As you massage the stiffness from your muscles, you take stock of your surroundings. Greenery, blue skies, a road in the distance and the trickling of a stream nearby. Wow, last night's bender really must have gotten away with you to end up this far out from town.
You pick yourself up and stumble over towards the stream, cupping your hands and drinking from it. It isn't enough, so you take another double-handful and drink some more. What did you even get up to last night? You remember starting it out with Omo and Nym, and something about hitting the sunberry brandy. Then at some point you went onto gutter cruor, and that's where things really start getting patchy.
You're onto your fifth drink of water now and that thirst still won't go away. Gods above, you've never had a hangover
this bad before. You hurriedly drink several more handfuls, panicking with the realisation that none of it is quenching your thirst. You stick your head under the stream and gulp down water until your belly feels near bursting - and then you just throw it all up (along with a fair bit of wine).
You stare in horror as your effluvia washes away down the stream, desperately racking your brain for what might have happened last night to cause this. Let's see, there was the pub, then the second pub, then that pair of prostitutes, then... argh, what was it... the clown... throwing up on a mule... getting separated from Omo and Nym, finding some more wine to drink... desecrating a shrine...
...ah, shit.
What is your name and gender?
From what realm do you hail?
* You are a human of the Gilded Confederacies, an alliance of mercantile city-states along the Emerald Coast.
* You are a dwarf of the Hidden Kingdom, a feudal state of hidden mountainhomes and hillocks.
* You are an elf of the Visceral Jungles, an anarchic nation of forest villages banded together for protection and in veneration of the Force.
* You are a goblin of the Cruelty of Spite, a tyrannical demon-ruled despotism ruling slave-filled pits beneath their dark towers.
* You are a kobold of Jirifulgemdis, a semi-subterranean tribe of thieves and trappers. Of late you have been adventuring in civilised realms.
What is your profession?
* You are a miner, brought up in the pits and extracting valuable ore and jewels from the earth's heart. You are also skilled at smelting ores into bars and alloys. [Not elves.]
* You are a woodworker, cutting and shaping wood into furniture and tools. You can also carve bone and ivory. [Elves may not cut wood.]
* You are a stoneworker, carving rock into furniture, statues and tools.
* You are a ranger, skilled with simple traps and bows and stealthily tracking prey.
* You are a doctor, making your living setting bones, cleaning and suturing wounds and generally healing the ailments of others.
* You are a farmer, spending your life tending fields and orchards. You can also gather herbs and mill flour, as well as produce lye. [Not goblins.]
* You are a herdsman, tending herds and flocks. You can also milk, skin, butcher, tan and make cheese, as well as tending beehives.
* You are a cook, and a brewer to boot. You also have some experience making soap.
* You are a fisherman, living off the rivers and the sea. You can clean fish and have some sailing experience.
* You are a metalsmith, forging tools, weapons and furniture.
* You are a jeweller, and can work with white metals, gold and cut and set gems.
* You are a tinker and tailor and can work leather, glass, cloth and bone, and can weave thread into cloth as well.
* You are an engineer and mechanic, specialising in mechanisms and elaborate traps of all kinds.
* You are an administrator, skilled at labour organisation, book-keeping, negotiation and with a bit of skill in architecture as well.
* You are a grifter and con-man, with excellent persuasive ability and some slight of hand, but no real practical skills.
* You are a bard and a vagrant, wandering the world and singing for your supper. You can also write, and compose to some degree.
* You are a soldier, trained in the use and maintenance of one particular type of weapon and armour (with a shield as an option).
Whose shrine did you desecrate?
Human Deities
Zotho Wraithesteemed, god of murder, death, suicide, the wind, the sky. Typically depicted as a male human.
The Escorted Keeper, god of justice, laws, creation, pregnancy. Typically depicted as a female human.
Ramstom, god of chaos. Typically depicted as a female human.
Acik, god of nightmares. Typically depicted as a male human.
Ulash Escortcurses the Terror of Law, god of forgiveness, mercy, theft. Typically depicted as a male human.
Eslul the Spider of Hate, god of torture. Typically depicted as a male human.
Busbel, god of water, fish, fishing, hunting. Typically depicted as a male human.
Dwarven Deities
Ber the Amethyst Cave, god of minerals. Typically depicted as a male dwarf.
Datan the Aquamarine Gold, god of metals. Typically depicted as a female dwarf.
Utost, god of mountains, volcanos. Typically depicted as a male dwarf.
Uzol the Flax of Aquamarine, god of wealth, jewels. Typically depicted as a female dwarf.
Zalstom, god of fortresses, war, death, disease, deformity. Typically depicted as a male dwarf.
Ordir, god of lies, treachery, chaos. Typically depicted as a male dwarf.
Os, god of murder. Typically depicted as a male dwarf.
Unnos, god of hunting, revelry, music, dance, festivals. Typically depicted as a male dwarf.
Allas the Oceanic Seas, god of salt. Typically depicted as a male dwarf.
The Hawk of Snarling, god of lakes, fish, rivers, oceans, coasts. Typically depicted as a male dwarf.
Onshen Hidebloat, god of muck. Typically depicted as a male dwarf.
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Topic: You are a Vampire (Read 8437 times)