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Blood Axes

10 (55.6%)

Freebootaz

8 (44.4%)

Total Members Voted: 18

[Cheesecake]

Call our squigs to eat the nobs. We have squigs, right?

No, but your gits have smaller gits who have attack squigs. (2) Said squigs are preoccupied eating said gits.

Intimidate them with sheer meanness and Orkyness

(2)(-1 Size)(+1 Meana') You are not big enough or orky enough to intimidate them. "Ha! Dis git finks he'z all tuff!"

Get ar grots ta fight dem wile we evade! An' for Mork sake, Alf the gist on dis tred ain't evun spellin' roight!

(3)(+1 Meana') Grabbing a grot, you lob him at the nobs. (4-2) The nob is caught off guard, as is the grot. The frightened grot starts clawing the face of said nob. "Ya gitz betta' follow his lead, or else I'm gonna feed ya to da squigs!) (3)(+1 Meana') The rest of your grots start attacking the nobs. (1)(+1 Numbers)(-1 Size) The nobs easily smash your gits to pieces. The first nob has a heavily bleeding face and a dead grot in his hand.

(5)(+1 Size)-(5) You get a good smash to the face, but it doesn't faze you much. You've had worse, after all. (5)(+1 Size)-(5)(+1 Armor) The second nob's cleaver pathetically slides off your flashy armor! (3)(+1 Size)-(3)(+1 Armor) The third nob's cleaver doesn't do much either.

Nearly the whole tribe is watching now. Their waaaghs fill you with pride and battle lust. Even the warboss has come to see the flashy git fighting his nobs.

[Twinwolf]

MY SLAVES! ATTACK!

[Cheesecake]

Updated the OP with a character sheet of Grogutz and his stats.

MY SLAVES! ATTACK!

(1)(+1 Meana')(+1 Runtherd) The fearful gretchin and snotlings saw what happened to the others before them, but they were much more fearful of you in all your flashy glory. The three nobs are overrun by a swarming mass of screaming green gits.

(4)(-1 Size)(+1 Numbers)-(4)(+1 Size) The first nob fends the clawing gits off, but he gets even more scratches than before and is getting exhausted. (2)(-1 Size)(+1 Numbers)-(6)(+1 Size) The second nob easily crushes the gits, spraying blood everywhere. (5)(-1 Size)(+1 Numbers)-(2)(+1 Size) The third nob is overwhelmed by gretchin who rip his face apart. He dies screaming.

The first nob lunges and attacks you. (5)(+1 Size)-(5)(+1 Armor) Your armor once more deflects his blow. (4)(+1 Size)-(5)(+1 Armor) The second nob attacks with his cleaver, but you grab it and pull him close, then headbutt his ugly face.

"Why don't ya fight like an ork? Come get us!"

The crowd is hooting and cheering now. The warboss watches grimly. You feel slightly more confident now that you've killed a nob.

[Twinwolf]

((YEA MY FIRST EFFECTIVE ACTION!))

[Andres]

We should definitely attack the ork that got scratched up and exhausted by our gits. It'll be safer than attacking the nob who's so far done pretty well against us and it'll give a chance for our gits to tire him out as well.

Let the gits finish off the tired one and thrash the nob that we just headbutted.

 

EDIT: WAAAGH!! at him first.

EDIT2: Meana' and Flashy Armour will give us +2, our size gives us -1. The worst we can get is a (2) and nothing bad can happen at this stage if we fail intimidation that badly. Something to gain, nothing to lose.

[Cheesecake]

We should definitely attack the ork that got scratched up and exhausted by our gits. It'll be safer than attacking the nob who's so far done pretty well against us and it'll give a chance for our gits to tire him out as well.

Let the gits finish off the tired one and thrash the nob that we just headbutted.

 

EDIT: WAAAGH!! at him first.

EDIT2: Meana' and Flashy Armour will give us +2, our size gives us -1. The worst we can get is a (2) and nothing bad can happen at this stage if we fail intimidation that badly. Something to gain, nothing to lose.

"You gits finish off that bigga' git!"

"WAAAAAGH!" (5)(+1 Meana')(+1 Flashy) Oh shit. Everyone's losing their minds, going wild and hooting. The exhausted nob on the floor succumbs to the frenzied grots on top of him. Another nob dead. (6)(+1 Size)(-1 Demoralized)(-1 Dazed) The second nob, dazed, confused and demoralized, barely holds up anymore. He gets on his knees and throws his cleaver to the ground.

"Alright, ya win, ya git."

Will you spare him or finish him?

[Andres]

Bite his head off.

[Cheesecake]

Bite his head off.

You firmly latch your teef into his skull and violently rip it off his shoulders. You let the head fall from your mouth as you let out a loud "WAAAGH!" The orks waaagh in agreement. The warboss is nowhere to be found.

You feel bigger already, around the size of a nob. The other boyz look at you with respect and fear. Your gretchin have already begun looting the dead nobs.

Loot:
x3 Rusty Chainmail
x3 Cleavers
x3 Bags of Teef (30 teef)
x1 Squig Pie
x1 Looted Rosarius

Clearly these nobs weren't nearly as flashy as you.

[Andres]

Nail one cleaver onto another so we get a double-sided cleaver. We'll use that in one hand and the smaller one in the other. Use the chainmail and make it into armour that fits us. Use the rest to make a cape. All the important humans wear capes, so wearing a cape would make us important too.

What's a rosarius?

[Cheesecake]

You're gonna be the flashiest git of all time XD

A rosarius is something 'umie priests use a lot. You know it's speshul, but you don't know how to use it.

[Andres]

How big is the rosarius? Can it be used to beat people to death?

[Cheesecake]

It's an amulet made to go around a 'umie neck. It can't fit around yours unless you expand the chain around it.

[Andres]

Good thing we've got that chainmail!

Customise the Rosarius to fit around our neck.

EDIT: Rip out the nobs' teeth.

[Cheesecake]

Nail one cleaver onto another so we get a double-sided cleaver. We'll use that in one hand and the smaller one in the other. Use the chainmail and make it into armour that fits us. Use the rest to make a cape. All the important humans wear capes, so wearing a cape would make us important too.

(4) You nail one cleaver onto the other, coming up with a ramshackle, double-sided war-axe. The third cleaver you wield in your off-hand. (1) When you try to add more bitz to your Flashy Armor, it actually makes it worse. The best parts of your gear fall right off! It is still in good combat condition, but it isn't as impressive anymore. (3) The remaining chainmail is used to make a cape. It doesn't look very nice, nor would it be much use in protecting you, but a cape is still a cape.

Good thing we've got that chainmail!

Customise the Rosarius to fit around our neck.

EDIT: Rip out the nobs' teeth.

(5) The rosarius is much easier to kustomize. You now have an Kustom Rozaryuz! You order your gretchin to begin ripping out the nobs' teef. You gain 15 more teef! The rest seem to be lost or taken.

[Cheesecake]

We looted da 'umie picturez, boss! Gonna try doing this ISG style, see how that pans out.


This is the turn right above this one. Just illustrated.

What do you guys think?