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Author Topic: I may have Asperger's.  (Read 3842 times)

mastahcheese

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I may have Asperger's.
« on: April 15, 2015, 09:03:55 pm »

So, my therapist brought up the possibility that I could have Asperger's.

I looked it up, to get some more information on it, and I came across the list of common symptoms of Asperger's, and... it was basically like reading a list that described my entire personality, and explained just about every single problem I have. From my uncontrolled muscle movements and stutter, to my social awkwardness, tendency to take everything seriously, and just about everything else. Even the mannerisms in which I fidget.

I don't have an official diagnosis of Asperger's yet, but I'm going to see a psychologist that deals with things like that to see about a proper diagnosis.

The idea of this has been making my depression act up, and I've been failing to be productive for the past couple days because of it.

I'm guess I'm posting about this in the hopes that people could offer advice or help regarding this, or even just information about it.
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HeroPizza42

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Re: I may have Asperger's.
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2015, 09:08:44 pm »

i would also like any advise on what i can do to help as his wife and as his close friend.
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Bumber

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Re: I may have Asperger's.
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2015, 10:37:26 pm »

I'm not sure what advice I can give. I have it, but it differs greatly from one person to another. I have the social awkwardness (can't make small talk and have difficulty initiating conversations,) special interest (exploring every possible path/dialogue in video games,) sensory sensitivity, and insomnia. Less so the tics and habits (unless you count perfectionism (read: constant edits) and obsessive use of CCleaner after every internet session) and I think I can read people well enough (can't empathize very well, though.) I haven't graduated college or gotten a job yet, but I'd say if you can keep a job and a wife then you're not doing that poorly, all things considered. I can barely approach my professors to ask questions about assignments.

I guess what it boils down to is, does finding out you have Aspergers really change much compared to how you've been living so far? Depression being depression, I'm not sure that helps much but it's the best I've got.
« Last Edit: April 15, 2015, 10:48:32 pm by Bumber »
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mastahcheese

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Re: I may have Asperger's.
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2015, 10:41:44 pm »

Yeah, I have difficulty with emphasizing, as well.

Don't have as much issue with insomnia, though.
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Bumber

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Re: I may have Asperger's.
« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2015, 10:52:53 pm »

Yeah, for me it's like when there's a person crying:
Normal person: *Goes to comfort them and ask what wrong.*
Me: *Distances self from stressful noise, even though he knows it's not the socially acceptable thing.*

The above might be a talking-too-much-about-myself post. See? I'm conscious of it. Average Social Awareness!
« Last Edit: April 15, 2015, 11:02:54 pm by Bumber »
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Ozarck

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Re: I may have Asperger's.
« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2015, 11:04:14 pm »

As Bumber said, it differs from person to person. My son has been diagnosed with it, and I have a number of personality traits that are similar to the common symptoms, if I remember the questionnaires right.

I have always enjoyed what interactions we've had on these forums, mastacheese. I think you're pretty cool.

As for advice: You are who you are. recognize your strengths and weaknesses, and roll with it. Do not let difficulty empathizing become an excuse not to care about others' feelings, and ... uh ... well, life is hard for everyone, really, so don't eel too bad about being unusual.

And for you, HeroPizza42, learn his patterns and what situations tend to aggravate his Aspergers responses. Other than that, remember that you are both human beings, individuals worthy of love, patience, and consideration. Be yourself, and be there for him.

Heh heh heh. I almost sound like I know what I'm talking about. But this is just between friends, okay?

mastahcheese

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Re: I may have Asperger's.
« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2015, 11:05:25 pm »

Yeah, for me it's like when there's a person crying:
Normal person: *Goes to comfort them and ask what wrong.*
Me: *Distances self from stressful noise, even though he knows it's not the socially acceptable thing.*
Yeah, I can relate to that. Noises really bother me, to the point that it keeps me from thinking straight.

The above might be a talking-too-much-about-myself post. See? I'm conscious of it. Average Social Awareness!
It doesn't seem that way to me, though. It's relevant.

Heh heh heh. I almost sound like I know what I'm talking about. But this is just between friends, okay?
Well, I asked for advice, and you're providing that. I appreciate it greatly.
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Tiruin

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Re: I may have Asperger's.
« Reply #7 on: April 16, 2015, 02:08:11 am »

Repeating the idea of it differs from person to person, Aspergers is under the Autism Spectrum, a category noting down various characteristics by the given disorder. Advice thus far should be local and physical aid--internet advice can go only thus far (but is useful in many ways [ie information and referring to needed resources, or just sharing stories with friends and talking about what's going on], but in considering finding aid for psychological disorders, a physical examination (+ interview and counsel) is needed to pretty much diagnose what EXACTLY is happening--self-diagnosis is useful merely in questioning yourself 'do I have this?', and following it up with a visit to the professionals vested in the field works a lot.
Its a spectrum, as it notes a various amount of characteristics and behaviors under it (ie there is no one definitive basis which encompasses Aspergers). Inquire to the people who'll aid you, give your own insights into it, that's under the counselling portion.

Personally, why doctors don't diagnose online (but give a list or general information) is because of the degree of communication present, and the problems that may occur due to the lacking communication influences [ie Internet = textual, generally. Psychological disorders encompass physical, biological and psychological cues--wherein the diagnosis should be holistic. (+ ethics and otherwise; take a glance on a reference for the ethical code).

In a relationship, people must be understanding of each other--in regards to disorders, there must, just as in the psychological field, be the belay of judgement, or otherwise known as 'don't judge me by a predetermined idea, but believe what my side is.' There's the idea of perceptions and viewpoints--his viewpoint, her viewpoint, your viewpoint . . . underlying the general topic of: believe the person and take the idea with acceptance instead of base judgement. The notion of coordination and understanding the idea occurs here. (Also pretty much what the others in the thread mentioned).

If there would be arguments, check the context. Either one of you, make a gesture to stop--take some time off {ie Five minutes break, then turn your thoughts into 'What happened?'. You feel bad or hurt, what caused this? Restart.}. Research communication, or ways to communicate, and invest in study and books that'd help. Efficient communication is a very pivotal and important role here.

Just note that disorder or not, the person being a person is not defined by any lack or condescension--the product of ego, instead. A person is a person, no matter how small, lacking or ill. They have great potential, regardless of what inhibits them. Empathy, and the power to feel what others are feeling, and especially to communicate it in a way that does not invoke an aggravated response (ie hurtful words, or words that have a negative connotation in its general use, tend to not be used//find ways on how to better communicate your idea--this also helps others help you help others. Win-win! :)) )

To relate an example, the field is VAST and very broad, wherein making a judgement will have a lot of weight on it. There are situations where people relate their own interpretations of the experience (ie Flashing lights and appearance of white spots, could be perceived by the person as 'spirits' or 'hallucinations'; this is where the interview occurs), and need to be told to a professional who can aid you. Any fear or other belief should be discussed, as well as any inquiries.

It's a basic note in Psychology, to any student learning under it, that the field deals with people, behavior, the mind, thought, and understanding others. Judgement, philosophy, perception, communication, speculation and other forms of interaction are taken into account. (Just saying this to probably, maybe alleviate any fears? Just doing this because I dislike the stigma onto psychology I hear around)

Of note, if you're bullied or demeaned because you've a psychological disorder? Everyone is different. Everyone is unique. Normal, is a social construct. Conformity, as a very predominant idea here, is a note of research--there's a cause for one doing such an act, and usually the preface is them being misguided. There are no bad people, in those events, just misguided people.

I believe you're in good hands there, MC.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2015, 03:18:00 am by Tiruin »
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acetech09

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Re: I may have Asperger's.
« Reply #8 on: April 16, 2015, 02:12:49 am »

Mee too! (Re: OP)

Remember, a diagnosis or prospective diagnosis doesn't mean you suddenly have Aspergers. If it's right, then you've already had it for quite a while. Just because it's suddenly ~a thing~ doesn't mean you're any different of a person.

Although I struggled with some problems in my youth, I never sought out diagnoses or much help for them. If I got diagnosed, the only thing that would do is label me. It wasn't debilitating, so I just went on with life, and learned how to focus my disabilities into benefits.

Social reclusiveness? OCD-level work ethic? Taking things seriously? It's incredible how much power can be harnessed form that. Instead of nerding out over D&D, Rubik's Cube solving, and computer games (standard 'nerd' stuff I spent lots of time over), I switched over to working my ass off (largely involuntarily) over robotics, tech, and design. Now I'm a highly competitive employee due to my unnaturally high experience in the field. And I don't really need many social skills when working alone in a machine shop.

Tl;Dr: A diagnosis doesn't change who you are at all, and if you don't treat it as a disability, it definitely doesn't have to be one.

I might add that, for certain conditions, a diagnosis is a crucial step in providing psychological and psychiatric assistance - however, in my experiences, I've seen very little benefit come out of those except in extreme Asperger's cases that were clearly debilitating autism.
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Tiruin

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Re: I may have Asperger's.
« Reply #9 on: April 16, 2015, 02:15:54 am »

Tl;Dr: A diagnosis doesn't change who you are at all, and if you don't treat it as a disability, it definitely doesn't have to be one.
^What this guy said. :P
There's nothing wrong in being diagnosed with something. It's in the outlook--append a characteristic onto an action or a belief, and then your outlook will be...err, conforming(?) to how you see that characteristic.
It's more information, as a baseline.
Wonder why certain diagnoses have a certain 'negative' vibe with certain people? Outlook. There're attached notions onto it that give it that vibe (dear goodness the stigma on schizophrenia -_- as...a very blunt example. But I hope that got the point across.)
I could relay a TON of situations wherein that kind of context led to...many, many different results. :/ But yeah. General point: Appended meaning, also information.

Forgive my sloppy(?) English.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2015, 03:21:33 am by Tiruin »
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Orange Wizard

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Re: I may have Asperger's.
« Reply #10 on: April 16, 2015, 02:17:35 am »

Posting to +1 what acetech and Tiruin said.
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HeroPizza42

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Re: I may have Asperger's.
« Reply #11 on: April 16, 2015, 09:13:46 am »

And for you, HeroPizza42, learn his patterns and what situations tend to aggravate his Aspergers responses. Other than that, remember that you are both human beings, individuals worthy of love, patience, and consideration. Be yourself, and be there for him.

Heh heh heh. I almost sound like I know what I'm talking about. But this is just between friends, okay?

Thanks and I will iv been a lot more understanding of things and giving him space.
    Theirs been hard times but I try to step back and think on it not blame him.
 Im also going to help him research it more like books from the library maybe it wont be so scary with more info on it and to help us better understand.
    It needs to be a work in progress for us both im here for him not matter where it gos if that makes any sense.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2015, 09:18:52 am by HeroPizza42 »
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Vector

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Re: I may have Asperger's.
« Reply #12 on: April 16, 2015, 02:40:06 pm »

I've been diagnosed with it twice, and my current therapist thinks that the two previous were, well, out of line. I still have no idea whether I really have it or not, because the line between "autistic" and "eccentric" isn't clearly delineated.

I definitely have some kind of information processing... thing in the vein of dyslexia, if not outright Asperger's. So, I'm a neuroatypical buddy.

In my experience, the purpose of a diagnosis is basically to say: "Okay, here are some weaknesses/differences you have that cluster together and are self-reinforcing." It's really much less of a big deal than it probably feels like... I remember that when I got my Asperger's diagnosis, I felt like the world was basically over and I would never have any friends. Well, no, it just turned out that it was important to me to make friends with whom I shared interests, because talking about neato stuff was important to me and I really didn't want to just chat about boys and whatever upcoming movie all the time. The thing is that what you do with it is really up to you. It's more about telling professionals which resources they should use to help you than it is any sort of judgment on who you are or how you function.

I think the key thing to do here is to say: "What about the way that I interact with my environment is bothering me? Can the professionals help me to develop better coping mechanisms?" For example, one of the ways I deal with overwhelming noises is via stim toy type stuff and meditation. If it doesn't bother you, then you don't have to change it. There's a reason why the diagnostic criteria for AS includes clinical distress, because it's not to say that any of the things you're doing are inherently problematic. So--feel out where you've got distress going on, talk to the professionals about it, and find out how you can work out good solutions to your problems that work for you.

You don't have to be neurotypical, aspire to it, or become it. And you can want to function more "normally" too, and that's okay. It is really okay. The most important thing is to respond authentically to your feelings and find out what you really want, and how you really want to be.

It's also a really good time to be autistic. The UN just released a statement recommending that autistic people be supported in self-advocacy rather than continuing with the Find a Cure And Eradicate 'Em approach, and the ASAN is good stuff.

You've got some unique strengths, not "because you have AS," (that way lies a long road of "the diagnosis makes me special but also says I cannot function, what do I do") but because you're you and everyone's got stuff that they're good at. So, figure out what those are, enjoy them, and just relax.


Oh, and as a final note, I chiefly recommend that you read books and materials by other autistic people, because most of the ones I've read by allistic people were both hugely offensive and way off the mark. The modern ones are probably a lot better, but I'd still go for stuff written by autistic people first.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2015, 08:17:45 pm by Vector »
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mastahcheese

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Re: I may have Asperger's.
« Reply #13 on: April 16, 2015, 04:49:00 pm »

Well, I found out that the appointment date for when I get checked to see if I have it is the day before my birthday.

Woo.

I just feel very depressed right now, but you guys are helping. Thank you.
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Ozarck

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Re: I may have Asperger's.
« Reply #14 on: April 16, 2015, 05:54:30 pm »

Like some above have said, this doesn't change who you are. Awareness of the patterns in your life will give you one powerful tool to live life better: knowledge. Some of the other tools include, you know, the ordinary stuff: courage, hope, patience and grace, a network of supportive people, and all that.

For what it's worth, I feel for you, each of you who have opened up about some of your own issues. Ironically, though i have many personality and physiologial similarities to Aspergers (light and sound sensitivity, a unique perspective on what I experience, etc, etc) I have the opposite issue when it comes to empathy - I absorb the emotional state of those around me. So, I feel for you, heh heh -blush-

Hey, there's a reason we've all been drawn to this forum, amiright? :P
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