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Author Topic: Roll to Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN  (Read 16766 times)

Andres

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Re: Roll to be a Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN
« Reply #75 on: April 10, 2015, 01:50:43 am »

Oh, and shoo all that lawyer gas out of my realm. Go pump it into the nearest dwarf fortress.
Your attempt to pump all the lawyer gas into the nearest dwarf fortress has failed. The fortress in particular - situated on a glacier in the barren wasteland of nowhere - has some kind of glowing tower preventing the gas from entering the perimeter of the fortress' territory. You may need to send your minions there to destroy it for you.
Sorry, I meant to write that a glowing statue was preventing the gas from entering. I wrote tower by mistake. It's been fixed.
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All fanfics are heresy, each and every one, especially the shipping ones. Those are by far the worst.

Xantalos

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Re: Roll to be a Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN
« Reply #76 on: April 10, 2015, 02:02:07 am »

Ah thanks, I'll have to think over my strategy to see if 'have my dual infinite hordes of alien horrors from beyond the stars kill everything' will still hold out.
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Dwarf4Explosives

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Re: Roll to be a Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN
« Reply #77 on: April 10, 2015, 02:16:19 am »

I keep overshooting, so I might as well take advantage of it:

Attempt to build a railgun and a hydroelectric dam that runs on lava to charge it in front of the portal to Xantalos' realm.

« Last Edit: April 10, 2015, 07:18:08 am by Dwarf4Explosives »
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And yet another bit of proof that RNG is toying with us. We do 1984, it does animal farm
...why do your hydras have two more heads than mine? 
Does that mean male hydras... oh god dammit.

DreamerGhost

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Re: Roll to be a Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN
« Reply #78 on: April 10, 2015, 08:11:56 am »

For The Great Toad!

Convince somone to join grisha5 cult to bring them to six members and away from their sacred 5.
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The point of keeping the golems on fire isn't for the value of fire as a weapon. It's more to keep the golems functioning at a reasonable speed.
It was never a promise. It was a dirty lie, and you all knew that. You should all know by now that you can't trust a word I say.

Salsacookies

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Re: Roll to be a Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN
« Reply #79 on: April 10, 2015, 09:05:23 am »

Facestab a Toad
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Yep, the sig is here
Whoops. Well, shit. Typical salsacookies.
I don't need my cavities checked. I just went to the dentist! Ba-dum-tiss.
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Andres

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Re: Roll to be a Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN
« Reply #80 on: April 10, 2015, 06:06:05 pm »

Send forth my infinite armies through the portal to ... do infinite army stuff. Conquer places, start cults, overthrow nations, the works.
You currently have no infinite armies. Would you like to create one?
Yeah, seems a good idea. Make two, actually.
You create two infinite armies and almost immediately regret it. While the size of one infinite army would safely fill up the infinite size of your realm, basically cancelling it out, creating two infinite armies means that a second infinite force needs to be cancelled out as well - the only one being yours. You are subsumed in the madness of your creation, losing all form of sanity and consciousness, being nothing more than empty void made strange. Your dimension collapses, you cease to exist, and you cease to have ever existed and you cease to have the possibility to ever exist...
Assist Xantalos. Command all reanimated dread griches to assist.
...or at least that's what would've happened if it weren't for cheseecaek and his minions. While ∞ cancels out ∞, ∞ does NOT cancel out ∞+3, allowing you to survive for three infinitesimally small periods of time - just enough time for you to banish the second army and survive, if that's what you choose to do.

No. Continue improving ORCS
[4] You continue to improve on ORCS, getting it ever close to being considered the perfect game. Despite this, sales have begun to drop as the public cries out for something new - a sequel, perhaps.

Yell "OBJECTION!" at Elephant Parade and poke him in the eye until he dies.
[1] You poke in Elephant Parade's eyes, blinding him!

]kill upset mage, not chess instead
[2+5-3] You start beating on the mage that blinded you, and while you manage to get some good hits in you're pretty sure you're missing most of your punches.

Bake poisoned brownies.
[3+5] You bake brownies so poisonous that they can kill people just by breathing them! You breathed them when you were making them! Is this punishment from grisha5 for failing to appreciate his jelly rolls? IMMINENT DEATH!

Murder these heretics who don't worship the One Toad.
[5] [1] you attack Dwarf4Explosives, severely injuring him!

I keep overshooting, so I might as well take advantage of it:

Attempt to build a railgun and a hydroelectric dam that runs on lava to charge it in front of the portal to Xantalos' realm.


[6+5-3] Disregarding the insane Toad worshipper, you get your super engineering skills and build a railgun and lavaelectric dam next to Xantalos' portal. The two creations are masterfully created and capable of wiping out all armies of whatever size so long as they attempt to cross through the portal, but it seems the railgun needs power to work and the lavaelectric dam needs lava to work. Unfortunately, lava cannot be found in space, nor can breathable air. You're suffocating! IMMINENT DEATH!

For The Great Toad!

Convince somone to join grisha5 cult to bring them to six members and away from their sacred 5.
[6] You are convinced to join the cult of grisha5! Praise grisha5!

Facestab a Toad
[1] [4] You stab Kevak.

Followers of grisha5 may no longer insta-kill someone from another cult.
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All fanfics are heresy, each and every one, especially the shipping ones. Those are by far the worst.

Tawa

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Re: Roll to be a Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN
« Reply #81 on: April 10, 2015, 06:08:23 pm »

"Take that! Gotcha! Not so fast!"

Keep jabbing Elephant Parade. This time around, though, cast a spell to make my index fingers really sharp and stab him in a vital organ.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2015, 06:12:12 pm by Tawarochir »
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I don't use Bay12 much anymore. PM me if you need to get in touch with me and I'll send you my Discord handle.

Andres

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Re: Roll to be a Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN
« Reply #82 on: April 10, 2015, 06:09:12 pm »

Use a vacuum to suck up all the blood.
[4+5] You suck up all the blood! Including yours! IMMINENT DEATH.
Generally me has been struck down!

Followers of grisha5 may now instakill someone!
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All fanfics are heresy, each and every one, especially the shipping ones. Those are by far the worst.

Nidilap

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Re: Roll to be a Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN
« Reply #83 on: April 10, 2015, 06:09:52 pm »

Add totally left turn stuff into ORCS that at first seems kinda dumb, but is disgustingly addictive. Like farming, dancing, sex and marriage. Introduce modding to the community as well.
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Nidilap likes Adamantine, Bituminous Coal, Garnets, Cats for their aloofness, Dwarves for their stupidity, and Swords for their Spikes and edges. When possible, he prefers to eat pizza, ramen noodles, and sushi. He absolutely detests elves and spiders. He needs MTN DEW to get through the working day.

A medium- sized creature prone to great ambition, but only when he feels like it.

Xantalos

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Re: Roll to be a Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN
« Reply #84 on: April 10, 2015, 06:10:27 pm »

Yeah, banish one of the armies. Thanks, chseecaek!

Now then, chseecaek go hijack that railgun and use it to snipe some enemy structures. That glowing statue, for one.

My remaining infinite army, go conquer everything outside of my realm.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2015, 06:43:56 pm by Xantalos »
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Elephant Parade

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Re: Roll to be a Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN
« Reply #85 on: April 10, 2015, 06:39:40 pm »

no dumbo the elephant

that was wish

(old action not unbracket)
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Cheesecake

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Re: Roll to be a Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN
« Reply #86 on: April 10, 2015, 06:42:05 pm »

(Wait, why don't me and Xantalos have rolls?)

Manifest in realspace, taking with me a portion of infinity army (because fuck reality) and hijack the railgun.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2015, 06:47:49 pm by Cheesecake »
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Dying of laughter?
Dying of pure unbridled hatred, actually.

DreamerGhost

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Re: Roll to be a Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN
« Reply #87 on: April 10, 2015, 06:44:01 pm »

Create ORKS - a mod of ORCS that adresses what remains of public desires for the game in an atempt to overshadow the original.
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The point of keeping the golems on fire isn't for the value of fire as a weapon. It's more to keep the golems functioning at a reasonable speed.
It was never a promise. It was a dirty lie, and you all knew that. You should all know by now that you can't trust a word I say.

Xantalos

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Re: Roll to be a Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN
« Reply #88 on: April 10, 2015, 06:44:26 pm »

((I guess that's our thing?))
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Andres

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Re: Roll to be a Cultist of grisha5/Toady One/GabeN
« Reply #89 on: April 10, 2015, 06:50:06 pm »

(Wait, why don't me and Xantalos have rolls?)

Manifest in realspace, taking with me a portion of infinity army (because fuck reality) and hijack the railgun.
First of all, eldritch stuff. Second of all, only Xantalos doesn't do rolls. Thirdly, the only reason you haven't rolled when you otherwise would is because Xantalos helped you. Fourthly, you're already in realspace.
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All fanfics are heresy, each and every one, especially the shipping ones. Those are by far the worst.
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