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[Prophet]

Attempt to seduce the guards enemy soldiers?

Edit: *Cough* I totally didn't get confused about there names. *Cough*

[~Neri]

Illustrated Suggestion Game = ISG.

Keep being masochistic.

[origamiscienceguy]

Attempt to seduce the guards enemy soldiers?

Your attempts at seducing a guard ends up making you look like a beaten monkey with his hands and feet tied and a gag over his mouth. Oh, wait! That's you!
You do manage to stand up, however. One guard notices you, shouts, and starts running towards you.

[Prophet]

Sit down and stare at the running guard.

Illustrated Suggestion Game = ISG.

Keep being masochistic.

Also +1

[Tawa]

Use auto-fire to resist the incoming torture.

Failing that, steel yourself and prepare to fight back.

[~Neri]

Lick him!

[origamiscienceguy]

Keep being masochistic.

The enemy guard (or soldier) slams into you full force, knocking the air out of your lungs. As you land, your gag slides off and you begin your maniacal laughter again. Another soldier, an officer by the looks of him, appears from in front of the tank and shouts "nitamchinja!" the soldier points his gun at you.

[WillowLuman]

Eat the burlap sack to gain its potato powers.

[Stirk]

Examine what type of gun it is.

[~Neri]

Consume the fibrous sack!

[origamiscienceguy]

Lick him!

Examine what type of gun it is.

As he comes towards you, you examine his weapon and figure out how to remove the magazine. The guard drags you on your feet, and sticks his gun in your stomach. You lean forwards slightly and lick him on the nose. The guard is so startled that he doesn't notice you pull out his magazine.

[origamiscienceguy]

Eat the burlap sack to gain its potato powers.

Consume the fibrous sack!

The soldier pulls the trigger and you fall to the ground and you immediately begin eating the bag that was over your head. The soldier checks his gun out and notices that his magazine is missing. He didn't notice you put the magazine in the bag, so he starts searching the nearby area for his bullets.

[Stirk]

Alright. Empty the chamber, he still has a bullet left. Unless it was open bolt, which is unlikely, though our examination didn't tell us that.

Aww, ninjad. It was open bolt after all!

Uhhh...Offer to make him lots of pies if he doesn't kill you. In song form.

[WillowLuman]

Empty magazine into mouth, do this.

[origamiscienceguy]

Empty magazine into mouth, do this.

Uhhh...Offer to make him lots of pies if he doesn't kill you. In song form.

You quickly empty the cartridge in your mouth, and start singing in your deep baritone offering to make him pies. Obviously, he doesn't understand you language, so he responds by kicking you. That kick, however, forced you to spit out all of the bullets, and made your voice go 10 octaves higher than normal, vibrating the bullets in such a way as to make them fire. All of the bullets fired in midair, and one found the soldier right between the eyes. You were miraculously unharmed.