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Help me get better at DMing: is this game way, way too wordy?

Holy shit yes
- 0 (0%)
Slightly less long-winded would be better.
- 0 (0%)
No, it's fine as it is.
- 6 (60%)
I am dangerously insane and demand an excess of words. Double the length of each update.
- 4 (40%)

Total Members Voted: 10


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Author Topic: [ISG] Teovanth  (Read 23020 times)

3man75

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #135 on: May 03, 2015, 07:02:44 pm »

Seek out the chaiplan and ask the same questions. Also inquire about joining a caravan to leave this area..its so dangerous out here :(
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Worldmaster27

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #136 on: May 03, 2015, 07:06:43 pm »

May I reiterate that your art style is awesome? The town looks great.

Ask a pedestrian or guard where we can find the chaplain, then go see him.
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Andres

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #137 on: May 03, 2015, 07:07:05 pm »

Seek out the chaiplan and ask the same questions. Also inquire about joining a caravan to leave this area..its so dangerous out here :(
+1
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Prophet

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #138 on: May 03, 2015, 07:15:54 pm »

May I reiterate that your art style is awesome? The town looks great.

Ask a pedestrian or guard where we can find the chaplain, then go see him.
+1 to both.
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Araph

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #139 on: May 08, 2015, 07:45:31 pm »

Ask a pedestrian or guard where we can find the chaplain, then go see him.
+1 to both.


You approach a pair of nearby guards. "Could you please tell me where the -"

The shorter one interrupts you mid-sentence. "Hell's bells, girl, what happened to you?" He gestures at your face.

"I, um. I fell."

"And ended up like that? What'd you fall off, the roof of the cathedral?"

"Not... not quite, no. Speaking of the cathedral, could you tell me how to get to it?"

He nods and points off in the distance. "You can see its towers from here. Just wind through the streets in tha' direction and you can't miss it." You can see the tips of four stone edifices peeking over the rooftops in the direction he indicated.

"Okay. Thanks."

Seek out the chaiplan and ask the same questions. Also inquire about joining a caravan to leave this area..its so dangerous out here :(
+1


As you turn to walk away, you hesitate for a moment. Your brain feels foggy. "Do caravans pass through here often?"

The other guard answers. "Wrong season for it. Since the passes out west are blocked up, you only get traders coming up south. One came in a day or two ago. Probably not gonna get another for a week or two. Late summer, tha's when you get the merchants from out west sellin' supplies and buyin' up magic artifacts."

A colossal burst of air emanates from the first guard's nose. "Since when were you an expert on caravans?"

"My brother's works with one of Merbrook's wagons. Goes all 'round the world. He seen all kinds o' things."

"Yeah, the same brother who says they've got giant man-eating birds down south, twenty-foot tall bears up north..."

"Look, just because you've never stepped foot outside'a Fremminster doesn't mean nothin's out there."

"Let's just say your brother needs to lay off'a those crazy barbarian spices they keep bringin' in. Do funny things to a man's mind, you know."

Everything seems to have gone slightly blurry. "The birds are real," you say, trying to keep your focus. "Plains dragons. They don't eat men, though. Mostly small animals and fish. I don't know about the bears."

"See? What'd I say."

"Pshh. Elf girl's on the spice too."

You mumble another thank you and leave the guards to their argument. Everything feels strange, and you get the impression it'd be better to reach the cathedral sooner rather than later. After a minute, you feel somewhat better, but the unpleasant sensation of the ground shifting underneath your feet soon returns. You keep your eyes locked on the cathedral's spires.


As you draw near, shadows seem darker and lights brighter. A blurry fuzz creeps over your vision, gradually appearing and fading away, but you manage to reach the open gates to the cathedral's outer wall. Stumbling through the courtyard, you make your way into the cathedral itself. You remember a man greeting you, an incessant buzzing in your ears, and a falling sensation before -



You wake to the sight of a chubby, bald, elderly man's face peering intently into your eyes. "Ah, good! You're awake. Hold still for a moment..." He gently holds the skin around your right eye in position before releasing it and leaning back. "You took quite a blow to the head, I see."

"Where am I?" You look around. You seem to be lying on a small cot in a long room. Two of the room's wall are lined with evenly spaced cots, illuminated by the pale light streaming in through windows high above you.

The man stands up and spreads his arms with a warm smile. "Welcome to the Cathedral of Freyen." He grunts slightly as he lowers himself back down onto the stool. You notice he's wearing dark robes, trimmed with purple cloth. "I would have hoped you would come under better conditions, but the gods have their reasons for all things. You still have your life and will soon have your health again. Assuming, of course, you don't do anything foolish before you are well once more." He tilts his head with an expression of mock severity, eyes twinkling. "Now, I must ask. What caused this?" He reaches out and points to your left cheek.

"Well..."







"And then he said to look here for Sean Oathend," you finish your story.

"Alridh..." The priest sighs. "In any case, you've found the Reverend Oathend." He nods his head slightly. "I'll do my best to answer all your questions and then my wife will help you get cleaned up. What would you like to know?"
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Andres

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #140 on: May 08, 2015, 07:50:32 pm »

Rest, get a map from here to our destination, and buy some parchment for more magic maps. We could probably practice making the platform again or improving the design.
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Araph

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #141 on: May 08, 2015, 07:54:49 pm »

Rest, get a map from here to our destination, and buy some parchment for more magic maps. We could probably practice making the platform again or improving the design.
"What would you like to know?"

Jumpin' a bit ahead, there. :P You still haven't gotten answers yet. (Although more parchment and making the platform a permanent part of your repertoire are both very good ideas.)

May I reiterate that your art style is awesome? The town looks great.

Thanks!
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Andres

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #142 on: May 08, 2015, 07:59:22 pm »

Ask what was up with the guy, the wilderness at night, and the reverend's god.
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Prophet

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #143 on: May 08, 2015, 08:04:57 pm »

+1 to asking about that guy and the wilderness.
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Worldmaster27

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #144 on: May 08, 2015, 09:50:52 pm »

Ask what was up with the guy, the wilderness at night, and the reverend's god.
+1
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hops

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #145 on: May 08, 2015, 10:05:24 pm »

PTW
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

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3man75

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #146 on: May 08, 2015, 10:08:52 pm »

I need to get to someplace but I have no way out. I was hoping for caravans but they are not very present, perhaps I could pay some mercenaries to help me make the journey?

Also who is Alridh and how does he do..those things? He seems like a totally different person. Maybe even entity when he does those things.
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ATHATH

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #147 on: May 09, 2015, 09:46:55 am »

Ask what was up with the guy, the wilderness at night, and the reverend's god.
+1
+1, also ask why he was hunting the avatar of a cat god. I thought that cats were pretty nice.
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*slow clap* Well ATHATH congratulations. You managed to give the MC a mental breakdown before we even finished the first arc.
I didn't even read it first, I just saw it was ATHATH and noped it. Now that I read it x3 to noping

Andres

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #148 on: May 09, 2015, 04:55:19 pm »

Considering we're a geometrist, doing some alchemy isn't really out of the question. Rather than lead into gold, however, which'll increase inflation, we can turn dirt into useable metal and trade it.
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Araph

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #149 on: May 12, 2015, 01:26:43 am »


Ask what was up with the guy
+1
+1 to asking about that guy
Also who is Alridh and how does he do..those things? He seems like a totally different person.

"Who is Alridh? Why did he try to kill me at night and then bring me to safety in the morning?"

Oathend leans comfortably back on his stool. "Alridh is a Hunter of Maradin. Him and his fellow Hunters keep the town safe from all manner of beasts, but their protection is not without its own risks. The gods smiled upon you. Few survive an run-in with a Hunter at night. You see, Maradin - their patron spirit - is a cruel, powerful creature. When the suns falls, the Hunters take to the forests and slip into an animal rage. It is the cost of their power: Maradin demands that they stalk the night to honor his ways."

"What do you mean by 'power'? I'm assuming it's more than just turning into a ravening madman every night."

"Strength beyond that of any man. Endurance to sprint for hours on end. Anything to make them the most dangerous predator in the forests of Aludhel. I'm afraid I am not aware of all the details, but I'm sure you'll hear many rumors."

The image of Alridh tearing into the great cat with his bare hands enters your mind. "Right. About dangerous predators..."

the wilderness at night
+1

"...what sort of creatures do they usually hunt? What's dangerous enough to bargain with a spirit for protection against?"

"Other spirits, I suppose." The priest shifts slightly into a more comfortable position. "Maradin is not alone in the wilds. 'Round every turn a spirit of nature makes its home, and many are rather unhospitable towards mortals. I understand you're a traveler from west of the mountains. You will find that the spirits here are more powerful than those back in more civilized lands. Accordingly, each and every town has some means of defending itself, and Fremminster has the Hunters."

also ask why he was hunting the avatar of a cat god.

A logical discrepancy occurs to you. "If the Hunters are Maradin's subjects, why would Alridh have killed one of Maradin's children?"

Oathend's face creases into a look of concern. "What?"

"Last night Alridh killed a gigantic cat. When we reached Fremminster, he said it was a child of Maradin."

"That is strange." His gaze drifts off into the distance. "In all my years, I've never heard of such an event." He looks back at you. "I suspect Alridh did not mention this to you, but it would be wise to avoid bringing up the events of last night with most of Fremminster's denizens. The Hunters have been here since before the founding of the town, but they keep to themselves and the commoners scarcely trust them. The seeds of dissent are quick to take root, and we can ill afford that in times like these."

You lie back and think through Oathend's words. An idle thought crosses your mind.

and the reverend's god.
+1

"What god do you serve?"

The Reverend's face crinkles into a warm smile. "I serve all the gods, my child. But I follow the teachings of Venetayn, the Mediator."

You're vaguely aware of the god he refers to. The frontier's pantheon closely resembles that of Cennuth, the nation of men you're familiar with, and you're sure the major details match up. As you recall, Venetayn is the diplomat of the gods, responsible for keeping peace between the divines. His sphere includes persuasion, manipulation, rule by merit, and (tangentially) both peace and war.



Sorry the game has been kinda railroady (and ridiculously long-winded) lately! That part's pretty much done now. You can suggest actions for Taliss to take once she's rested up and the next update will include both the last bit of your time in the cathedral and your actions afterwards.
« Last Edit: May 12, 2015, 02:27:40 pm by Araph »
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