Shrink Paul to normal size.
[6] You shrink Paul down to normal size, and all the ashes that were sitting on his head fall onto your head. You're now covered in ashes and choking to death.
Shrink Paul to normal size.
"Shrinking him to Emperor size would be better."
"Paul, you might not be able to summon army but you can create them using your latent psychic might. I will try to unlock it with my own powers." Unlock Paul's latent Emperor powers with my mind.
[1] While trying to focus your psychic powers you accidentally blow up your own head. Whoops.
spawn an army of evil pears
[6] They are too evil, they attempt to eat your new Antipineapple body because they know nothing of loyalty or fear.
Appeal to Paul for forgiveness. I was only trying to help, after all!
Bribe him with pizza if necessary.
((Dammit, why do you never close your stuff? This whole page would be bold and 4 pt font if I hadn't fixed it >.<))
[1] You are unable to ask forgiveness because you are choking on pizza. Paul would issue the Heimlich, but he doesn't want to impale your lungs with his spines...
Defend myself from accusations That I am a Blasphemer by pointing out the shear warping of reality part of quite a few characters that I found on the planet. Demonstrate it by showing off Magnumcannon as having Reality-Warping powers.
[1] Your attempts at defending yourself only implicate you. Nobody is surprised that Magnumcannon got you out of that jail, your cell was made entirely out of bamboo and plaque according to their analysis. They didn't think you were a heretic believing in false gods, but they do now.
Respawn and if possible, say this is based on a misunderstanding.
[6] You attempt to reincarnate and come back as a bug. You are immediately crushed under someone's boot.
Begin a recruitment drive for Paul's army and sign up for it myself to win back the respect of the people.
[6] Everyone sees you sign up for your own army which you say is going toward helping Paul. The local peace advocates arrest you for war mongering.
(Paul)
Set fire to the now more flammable heathens!
[1] You fail to set fire to the heathens, but they all seem very warm to you now that you've frozen yourself.
Use my long-ranged mind powers to change the background color to blue
[5] You successfully turn the background color red-blue, also known as purple
Burn down some Houses!
[1] You can't set fire to the houses because you fell in a river and are drowning.
((Those rolls aren't loaded, it's just been that kind of day))
Author
Topic: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - Revenge of the meta (Read 46504 times)