Call in Doc Brown to explain the timeline/s and just what the heck is going on.
Also go catch some ghostly salmon in a ghostlystream with my bear hands.
[4] Doc Brown tells you it's simple: a pineapple named Paul gained sentience and asked not to be eaten. Someone tried to eat him and then someone else stitched him back up. Then a nuke went off and due to shenanigans was cancelled out. Then Paul was shot with an enlargement ray and a cult formed around him. People gave Paul an army of defenders and built the small town he now sits in. Then the Warhammer 40k-verse showed up and now everything is building up to a massive psychic battle between Paul and the Emperor. People died and reality's strings were pulled, leading to the background changing colors and becoming sentient, people rising from the dead, an anti-Paul being created, and recently time itself has been especially tenuous in it's grasp.
The ghostly salmon are delicious, though you feel a little guilty since their lives must suck, eaten in the living world then eaten here too.
ORDER IMMEDIATE EXTERMINATUS ON Galgaria.DUE TO THE WEIRD TIME SHIT THAT IS GOING ON
[3] The order goes through, but you are still on probation and a hold is put on the order until you have been cleared to resume duty.
..... What did I just read?
Pineapples.
AND JUSTICE AGAINST HERETICS
I don't even know anymore, I just write the responses.
Summon Snopp Dogg
[3] You summon Snapp Dog, a dog carrying a bottle of Snapple. Not what you were looking for, but you were getting a bit thirsty.
Break my own legs to show dedication to pineapple deity
[6] You crush your own legs into oblivion, but Paul wasn't watching.
Break my own legs to show dedication to pineapple deity
Break his legs, before he can break his own legs to show dedication to pineapples.
[3] You jump back in time and kick him in the shins before he breaks his legs. That'll teach him to hurt himself for others!
Eat food, drink, sleep excise and wait for 10 years
[4] You wait for ten years for your body to become less feeble. Then you jump back in time so you're here now and 16 years old.
Walk nonchalantly towards the main prison gate and pretend I was just a visitor.
[4] You walk up to the prison gate and act casual. They let you through and apologize for the mistake. Whoo! Free from being jailed for trying to sign up for the military!
Author
Topic: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - Revenge of the meta (Read 45498 times)