OK, ORDER MY INQUISITORIAL FLEET I HAVE PARKED AROUND THIS STAR SYSTEM'S FIRST GAS GIANT TO GO AND PICK ME UP AND THIS Magnumcannon CHARACTER.
[4] You call in the fleet you haven't mentioned until now and they take you away from this crazy place. You and Magnumcannon, leaving your flying dildo behind.
Intercept poketwo's message and change it to say that the emperor sucks and Paul's much better than him.
[3] You altered the message, but only got the part about the emperor sucking in. They're being carried offworld in a prison cell, but only to be tried as blasphemers, not heretics.
BURN THE HEATHENS! WITH LEFTOVER PIZZA GREASE!
[3] You pour leftover pizza grease onto the heathens! Alas, the grease was only lukewarm so now they are just covered in oily goo... ((Which heathens? The ones to Paul or to the Emperor?))
Take over Luaps mind and body
[6] You take over his mind and body. He is still a regular sized pineapple and you feel corruption from his mind creep into your thoughts. Your only drive is to punch Paul in his smug face, or take action that would enable said outcome.
DO IT AGAIN!
[4] You poison the well and get more potato cultists. Nobody drinks from the well since several people already died from the water, but you poison it anyway!
Overthrow Paul, There should be no rulers making up rules.
[3] Woo, anarchy! Wait, why isn't everyone else cheering? Oh, Paul never made any rules apart from not to eat him and never claimed to be leader... well then...
Tell Paul about Luap and that the only way to fight him is to raise an army and send them off to fight in his name, seeing as Paul himself can't fight Luap without blowing up the planet. Tell him that it's also suspected that Luap was created by someone secretly working for or part of the Alpha Legion. Even if the Emperor isn't a threat, the force of evil that he fights against is.
[4] Paul understands and is ready to begin mustering his army for the ultimate fight of good vs evil, or rather pineapple vs antipineapple. Now he just needs to convince someone to bring him an army because he can't move from this spot, partially due to his size, but also due to all this stuff piled up around his feet.
Summon a swarm of snowy owls to protect Paul and keep the order
[4] You bring forth the snowy owls of justice to protect the mighty Paul!
Strangle Mister CURIOUSBEAST_EATER with a USB cord before he can upset Paul.
[6] You strangle him in the middle of the street for trying to usurp Paul's position of power. CURIOUSBEAST_EATER is now a ghost and you are arrested for murder. There's no jail so you're sentenced to a public beating.