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[Uzu Bash]

Adventurer mode needs one of these, too.

I climbed the keep's outer wall to look over the city from each end, then lept over the side to take the quick way down, as I usually do. I hadn't sheathed my sword and shield, so I sailed straight past the ledge and 13 z-lvls down.

You slam into an obstacle!
Your upper body takes the full force of the impact, bruising the muscle and bruising the right lung through the +badger leather cloak+!
Your left foot takes the full force of the impact, bruising the fat through the *ｮ+iron high boot+ｯ*!
Your lower body takes the full force of the impact, bruising the muscle and bruising the guts through the groundhog leather cape!
Your head takes the full force of the impact, bruising the fat through the *wolf leather hood*!
Your right lower leg takes the full force of the impact, but it is deflected by Your *ｮ+iron high boot+ｯ*!

Mortally wounded, but an hour nap is better than dwarven medicine. Still only a Novice Armor User after that, so no new Shaft of Enlightenment.

[Nitrolphin]

There I was, fully decked out in adamantine, even my clothing was of the glorious blue metal (DFHack) I stood victorious atop the corpse of the lord of a castle, when my head was punched, yes, punched in by a random guy on a lower level.

[Magnus]

I started my first adventurer in a dwarven hillocks, and the first thing I did was grab several sacks of plump helmets, had about 200 in total. Went travelling, and noticed my speed kept climbing up slowly. Soon, it was at 0.3. Nice, I thought, my Strength must be increasing or something!

Then, weeks later I accidentally dropped the sacks and noticed my speed was now at 1.0. Turns out, carry weight affects movement speed. Who would have guessed.

[StagnantSoul]

Died before I even left the mead hall. Turns out it was infested with zonbies, and I died immediately.

[kvaedi]

I decided I needed to train my wrestling, and traveled to the nearest elf site to do so on the many volunteers there. I grabbed the first elf I saw and threw them. Then the facepalm part, I managed to throw the elf at myself, they slammed right into me and sent me airborne. My throat skidded on the ground, tearing open a major artery, after which I swiftly and humiliatingly died of blood loss, but not before the elf got in a few painful kicks to my face.

[TheFlame52]

My throat skidded on the ground, tearing open a major artery

every damn time

[Uzu Bash]

Accidentally killed a guy who was running to the city I was lord of. He said he was going to take over lordship. I thought he meant lordship of my city, but he actually meant he was going to rule his own hamlet from the capital's keep. Oops. I owe his lady consort an apology. Maybe a masterwork crown or something.

[That Wolf]

I was fighting with a longtime human companion against the goblins, all of a sudden my friend starts attacking me, thinking she had lost her mind I started attacking her..
After killing her I realised that the attack selection UI sometimes has your allies as the first entry and I didnt realise I had hit her...
So I was the insane one...
Fucking game

[StagnantSoul]

I've had hours long quests to become a vampire or a necromancer, or find a werebeast on their time of the month. I didn't notice, but I'd slain a vampire priest. While trying to get rid of my thirst, I drank his blood off a gauntlet instead of the plump helmet wine from a wineskin. Suddenly, I'm a vampire. Oh wow, that wasn't that hard. Too bad I can't become a werebeast now. But hey, they're a necro tower nearby! That place had been really annoying me, I hate embarking near them, so I couldn't embark in the perfect spot I'd found. I went there to kill the necromancers, now that the zombies wont bug me. Walked right up to them and killed them. Saw a masterwork book, secrets of life, decided to check it out, see if it could buy me some stuff in town. Wait, what? I'm a necromancer now? God dammit... I didn't want to be a vampire or necromancer!

[That Wolf]

Hey stagnantsoul..
Light a fire in a safe place, not a campfire. preferably near water
Put the book in the middle of the fire and wait around for a while until it catches fire. Then pick it up and run around with it... he he he

[Max™]

Find some kids... ask where they want to be taken, nickname them with the destination as usual, one of them was insisting that they only had a mother at a site I didn't have a clue where it was, first spot we check, two of the ones who I was going to reunite with their mother and father run in talking about "cousin, it's you!" and the one with only a mother runs up as well... screw that, die the game and go use reveal to find the hillock with mom in it, if I'm getting a happy reunion it's not gonna be with a damn cousin while mom is in the same freaking area, and what the hell is up with Mr. I have only a mother being related to kids I've got with me and never mentioning it?

[That Wolf]

I wonder if the kids run up to any family member without actually ever meeting them.
How would I test this?

"Oh that guy looks like me, hes got amber eyes.. Cousin is that you"!

"Nephew?... come inside, hello great hero thanks for saving... hey kid whats your name again?"

"Dave"

"Never hear that name, your parents must have been strange"

"I am a soldier"

"In 798 my brother tamed catwhispers died of old age"

"It was inevitable."

I play this game to much.
This whole post is terrible and a facepalm moment.

[Paaaad]

Just got attacked by boogymen. On the roof of a mead hall made of graphite.

[Robsoie]

a few months ago, i got a dialogue with a bandit pushover "overlord" that was all alone in his camp



The facepalm was strong with this one
(not mentionned in that screenshot is that i was a heartperson at the time and my lord tasked me to get rid of the bandits led by that guy, and despite that, the bandit leader was oddly very happy to see me) .

[StagnantSoul]

Killed a dragon solo. Yay! But burnt to death later. To regular fire. That I set.