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[DAPARROT]

I think everyone else left, but ill post my action anyway

Val'Krete: kill the lawyer
150 bored cultists: get chalk
845 marksmen: help kill the lawyer
850 cultists: recruit

[Aslandus]

I think everyone else left, but ill post my action anyway

Val'Krete: kill the lawyer
150 bored cultists: get chalk
845 marksmen: help kill the lawyer
850 cultists: recruit

To be honest, it's getting to the point in the semester where I might have to call a hiatus myself. I would consider giving the others a chance to come back, but they haven't even posted any sort of reason for missing turns so I just assume they've either lost interest or are too busy to even check the thread.

KILL: [2] They get filibustered by the lawyer and miss their opportunity
Chalk: [1] They get held up at the store waiting in line to buy chalk and miss their next turn. (stalled for [1] turn)
MORE KILL: [3] They manage to pop a few shots off at the lawyer between his statements. His squishy flesh yields easily, but they are only grazing shots. Sheer volume of fire still leaves him in a nasty state. (Lawyer heavily wounded)
Recruit: [6] They call people one and all to join your cause. Unfortunately some of them got the wrong address. (+850 cultists, +850 inquisitors)

Lawyer: heal yourself
[3] He staunches the bleeding and starts the healing process, but it offers him no immediate benefits. (regeneration started)

[Whisperling]

Whoops, sorry about that. Ended up forgetting about this for a while.

Archon: Mind-control more beasties. Mentally gripe about the universe hating your managerial style.

100 beasts, 10 satyrs, 5 minotaurs, and 5 humans, led by leader and disaster manager 1: Jackpot! Loot the stuff of everyone who just dropped off the face of the earth.

5 cultists: Launch an internet smear campaign targeting Hondrassan.

5 cultists, advised by leader and disaster manager 2: Perform a song-and dance routine to amuse everyone.

3 hecklers: Partake in the ritual of sense, and combine the newfound logic with your old heckling ways to become constructive critics.

[Aslandus]

Whoops, sorry about that. Ended up forgetting about this for a while.

Archon: Mind-control more beasties. Mentally gripe about the universe hating your managerial style.

100 beasts, 10 satyrs, 5 minotaurs, and 5 humans, led by leader and disaster manager 1: Jackpot! Loot the stuff of everyone who just dropped off the face of the earth.

5 cultists: Launch an internet smear campaign targeting Hondrassan.

5 cultists, advised by leader and disaster manager 2: Perform a song-and dance routine to amuse everyone.

3 hecklers: Partake in the ritual of sense, and combine the newfound logic with your old heckling ways to become constructive critics.

Mind control: [5] You extend your power to pull more beasties into your cult. It's nice that you think of your cult as your universe, but that doesn't really give them anything to distract themselves from their humdrum lives, as one would expect a cult to do. (+400 beasts)
Loot!: [4] They grab as much stuff as they can carry from the lost horrors' old stockpiles. With more people/pack beasts they could've brought more, but they come back with a decent haul anyway. (gained dragonblood, firearms with explosive ammo, cotton, and moonshine)
Smear: [2] They are unable to get anyone to listen to them when they say the pope is taking advice from his shadow.
Entertainment: [1-1] They try to perform a dance, but stumble and break all their legs despite the insistence of the disaster averters that they be careful. A riot breaks out over the horrible performance. The leader stops the riot, but not before the injured cultists get trampled to death. (-5 cultists)
Make sense: [1] Who needs sense when you've got dollars? They start cutting up green construction paper and tossing it around the base pretending it's money. (Green paper littering base, 3 hecklers go insane)

Boredom: take cultists
[5] The riot at the concert was the last straw for many, after weeks spending their time waiting for orders and only having 3 people go off to do things the recent 5 person per job policy is too little too late. They decide to join a book club instead. They're reading Lovecraft this week. (-75 cultists)

[Aslandus]

End of turn 21.
Volker-hands (uninjured):
cult: 1750 cultists, 845 marksmen, 150 bored cultists, 100 marksmen (guarding, infiltration possible)
items: dragon blood, glass, firearms, quicksilver, silver, fake Orb of Stalwart
Rituals: Create Fake orb of Stalwart [req glass, silver; use causes weakness], Rain of Fire [consumes gasoline], Ritual of STRENGTH [consumes protein], ritual of invisibility [req quicksilver and sand], Orb creation ritual [consumes crystal orb and horror corpse], Ritual of super banishment [req chalk]
Base (sturdy fortress): pitual/wishing pit
Diplomacy: mixed PR
inquisitors: 1315 inquisitors
-Val'Krete (uninjured):
+The Lawyer (heavily injured, REGEN ACTIVE):

Arcing Mist-elf:
cult (Bored): 16 cultists, 3 insane hecklers (negate leadership bonuses), 2 necromancers, 2 espers, 490 beasts, 100 large beasts, 20 satyrs, 15 minotaurs, 20 centaurs, 5 centaur scouts, 5 battle commanders (50% chance to reroll negative outcomes in combat they initiate), 2 leaders (50% chance of turning 3 into 4), 2 disaster averters (50% chance of turning 1 into 2)
Items: 2x dragonblood, Necronomicon, Improvised melee weapons, 25 Daragon fruit, aspirin, obviously poisoned spearmints, firearms with explosive ammo, cotton, moonshine, discovered Orb of Storms
Rituals: Summon mini-horror [req dragon blood], create Summoning Shell [req Zinc, wood; single use], Imbue knowledge [consumes Daragon's fruit],  Stalwart burning summon [consumes Orb of Stalwart, gives summoned crippling weakness], brew power potion [consumes dragon blood, damages user], Cure Psishock [req aspirin], Ritual of Sending [no cost], Ritual of sense [no cost]
Diplomacy: good PR, Allies with Happy
Base (pit):
inquisitors: 100 beasts
-Sharkon (uninjured): Submerged
-Beldroth (uninjured): Adult (+1 physique, +1 power)
-Some scrub fish (lightly injured): submerged
-Warband: 50 beasts, 10 satyrs, 10 minotaurs, attacking Quarken, allied with Quacken and Quarken's inquisitors

Hon Shadow (uninjured): Zzzzzzz
Additional powers: shadow teleport
cult (TAKING COVER): 45 skilled engineers, 25 beastmaster engineers, 25 beasts, support of Pope, cult in Washington DC
Items: dragonblood, cotton, rebar, concrete
Base (Sturdy fortress): Stick fence, Too many residences (minor beast infestation)
Diplomacy: "friend of humanity" PR (humanity's aid gained), support of president, support of Virginia and Florida, animosity of Alaska and Maine
Inquisition: 25 Solier inquisitors, 25 catholics
-Unlight: Let the light guide you!
-Pope: popular

---- NPC factions
Jail: nobody relevant

Mr. Banana hammock (uninjured): 50 cultists

World details:
-Orb of Stalwarts 1 and 3 destroyed

[Whisperling]

Archon: Sigh. Recruit. Leader 1 should be on hand.
10 cultists, 10 satyrs, 125 beats, leader 2 & disaster manager 1: Loot more stuff.
Espers, disaster manager 2: Make good use of your ESP and give Volker's inquisitors a bunch of mental hints regarding the location of his base.
3 insane hecklers: Get counseling.
6 cultists: Research a ritual involving cats.

[LordBrassroast]

Hondrasaan: Recruit US soldiers specifically.
Pope: De-inquisition the Catholics.
Cult: Un-poison the well, you dumbf***s.
Govt.: Recruit senators.

[DAPARROT]

Vol-Kriit+Val Krete: finish the lawer off
845 marksmen: kill the inquisitors from as far way as you can
1750 cultists: get sand and prepare the ritual of invisibility

[Aslandus]

Archon: Sigh. Recruit. Leader 1 should be on hand.
10 cultists, 10 satyrs, 125 beats, leader 2 & disaster manager 1: Loot more stuff.
Espers, disaster manager 2: Make good use of your ESP and give Volker's inquisitors a bunch of mental hints regarding the location of his base.
3 insane hecklers: Get counseling.
6 cultists: Research a ritual involving cats.

Recruit: [5] You get some different people to help you. They're WAY better than those OTHER jerks who deserted you over nothing. Not that you're bitter or anything.(+100 cultists)
Loot: [4] They find more stuff to haul back. Probably everything you need, though not all there is. (gained rough armor, improvised melee weapons, and Orb of Stalwart 2)
Activate inquisitors: [1-2] They accidentally told your inquisitors where your base was! Those fools! They even had Disaster manager 2 getting coffee so they couldn't help! (inquisitors activated)
Counseling: [6] They get help, and realize their whole life has been a lie! They never wanted to be hecklers! They always wanted to be a lumberjack! A. Singular. You understand their reasoning but they are now going everywhere sitting on each others shoulders and wearing a giant plaid trenchcoat. (3 insane hecklers become 1 giant lumberjack)
Research: [1] In trying to learn a ritual regarding cats, they get turned into cats. Luckily they can still talk and perform rituals, but they're gonna get squashed if they have to do any manual labor. (6 cultists turned into talking cats)

Hondrasaan: Recruit US soldiers specifically.
Pope: De-inquisition the Catholics.
Cult: Un-poison the well, you dumbf***s.
Govt.: Recruit senators.

Recruit: [1] They refuse and you call them a bunch of whiny babies. Some of the soldiers hold a grudge. (+25 soldier inquisitors)
Stop inquisition: [6] He calls on the catholic inquisitors to stop attacking you, specifically you, who lives at exactly this address in Washington DC. (-25 catholic inquisitors, inquisitors activated)
Remove poison: [6] They remove the poison, as well as all the water. Guess you're back on the city water. (wells nonfunctional)
Senators: [5] They talk to some of their buddies and convince them that you're worth giving a few favors. (gained support of North Dakota and Wisconsin) ((Wait, all recruits are supposed to be the same... whatever, I already rolled for it))

Humanity: make the water supply cleaner
[2] The plumbers keep making excuses and putting it off, so you are stuck with somewhat brown water until they get around to helping.

Vol-Kriit+Val Krete: finish the lawer off
845 marksmen: kill the inquisitors from as far way as you can
1750 cultists: get sand and prepare the ritual of invisibility

MURDER: [5] You and Valkrete splatter the lawyer all over the wall. Yeah! Muscles! Vengeance has been had, though it feels a little empty given how long you've been stuck in that thorn world. Maybe smiting thorns will give the satisfaction you seek. (Lawyer is dead)
MORE MURDER: [5] They all shoot twice then go home. (-1315 inquisitors)
Sand: [1] They go to the desert to find the best sand, but some of them get lost. (-100 cultists)
Ritual: [1] They don't have any sand, but they try the ritual anyway... Well, at least you can't see them now... (-150 cultists)

[Aslandus]

Sorry, should've done this right after rolling the actions, but I was a bit busy this week

Banana Hammock: Resurrect the glory of the Speedo/banana hammock!
[5] Glory is had! The power of the not-thong is brought to your faction! Why is everyone backing away? (People now disturbed by presence of BH or his cultists)

End of turn 22.
Volker-hands (uninjured):
cult: 1500 cultists, 845 marksmen, 150 bored cultists, 100 marksmen (guarding, infiltration possible)
items: dragon blood, glass, firearms, quicksilver, silver, fake Orb of Stalwart
Rituals: Create Fake orb of Stalwart [req glass, silver; use causes weakness], Rain of Fire [consumes gasoline], Ritual of STRENGTH [consumes protein], ritual of invisibility [req quicksilver and sand], Orb creation ritual [consumes crystal orb and horror corpse], Ritual of super banishment [req chalk]
Base (sturdy fortress): pitual/wishing pit
Diplomacy: mixed PR
inquisitors:
-Val'Krete (uninjured):

Arcing Mist-elf:
cult (Bored): 110 cultists, 1 giant "lumberjack", 2 necromancers, 2 espers, 6 talking cats, 490 beasts, 100 large beasts, 20 satyrs, 15 minotaurs, 20 centaurs, 5 centaur scouts, 5 battle commanders (50% chance to reroll negative outcomes in combat they initiate), 2 leaders (50% chance of turning 3 into 4), 2 disaster averters (50% chance of turning 1 into 2)
Items: 2x dragonblood, Necronomicon, Improvised melee weapons, more improvised melee weapons, 25 Daragon fruit, aspirin, obviously poisoned spearmints, firearms with explosive ammo, cotton, moonshine, rough armor, Orb of Stalwart 2, discovered Orb of Storms
Rituals: Summon mini-horror [req dragon blood], create Summoning Shell [req Zinc, wood; single use], Imbue knowledge [consumes Daragon's fruit],  Stalwart burning summon [consumes Orb of Stalwart, gives summoned crippling weakness], brew power potion [consumes dragon blood, damages user], Cure Psishock [req aspirin], Ritual of Sending [no cost], Ritual of sense [no cost]
Diplomacy: good PR, Allies with Happy
Base (pit):
inquisitors (ACTIVE): 100 beasts
-Sharkon (uninjured): Submerged
-Beldroth (uninjured): Adult (+1 physique, +1 power)
-Some scrub fish (lightly injured): submerged
-Warband: 50 beasts, 10 satyrs, 10 minotaurs, attacking Quarken, allied with Quacken and Quarken's inquisitors

Hon Shadow (uninjured):
Additional powers: shadow teleport
cult (TAKING COVER): 45 skilled engineers, 25 beastmaster engineers, 25 beasts, support of Pope, cult in Washington DC
Items: dragonblood, cotton, rebar, concrete
Base (Sturdy fortress): Stick fence, Too many residences (minor beast infestation), nonfunctional wells
Diplomacy: "friend of humanity" PR (humanity's aid gained), support of president, support of Virginia, Florida, North Dakota and Wisconsin, animosity of Alaska and Maine
Inquisition (ACTIVE): 25 Solier inquisitors, 25 soldiers
-Unlight: Let the light guide you!
-Pope: popular

---- NPC factions
Jail: nobody relevant

Mr. Banana hammock (uninjured): 50 cultists, disturbing presence

World details:
-Orb of Stalwarts 1 and 3 destroyed

[DAPARROT]

Vol-Kriit+Val-Krete: recruit
500 cultists: get sand
500 cultists: get gasoline
500 cultists: get protein
845 marksmen+ 150 bored cultists:recruit

[Aslandus]

Vol-Kriit+Val-Krete: recruit
500 cultists: get sand
500 cultists: get gasoline
500 cultists: get protein
845 marksmen+ 150 bored cultists:recruit

I think the combined recruiting thing was originally to reduce the number of actions people were taking so I can just take them as separate...

Recruit: [5] You and valkrete go on a hiring spree and bring many more people to the cult. (+250 cultists)
Sand: [3] They find a bunch of broken glass. You already have glass, and this isn't sand! Maybe you could grind it down into sandy powder though... (acquired broken glass)
Gas: [3] They get crude oil/petroleum. This stuff needs to be refined before it can be used! (acquired petroleum)
Protein: [6] They found lots of protein. Unfortunately, most of it is still alive. (gained meat, +50 cattle inquisitors)
More Recruit: [6] They drag people back to the base and get them to join the cult. Some of them are freaked out and dedicate themselves to stopping you. (+995 cultists, +995 inquisitors)

[Aslandus]

Missed a week, but I was a bit busy since it's the end of the semester... And two people still didn't take their actions

Banana Hammock: Recruit
[2] Nobody wants to join this creepy weirdo who is trying to replace the fun creepy weirdo that was here earlier

End of turn 23.
Volker-hands (uninjured):
cult: 2745 cultists, 845 marksmen, 150 bored cultists, 100 marksmen (guarding, infiltration possible)
items: dragon blood, glass, firearms, quicksilver, silver, fake Orb of Stalwart, broken glass, petroleum, meat
Rituals: Create Fake orb of Stalwart [req glass, silver; use causes weakness], Rain of Fire [consumes gasoline], Ritual of STRENGTH [consumes protein], ritual of invisibility [req quicksilver and sand], Orb creation ritual [consumes crystal orb and horror corpse], Ritual of super banishment [req chalk]
Base (sturdy fortress): pitual/wishing pit
Diplomacy: mixed PR
inquisitors: 50 cattle, 995 inquisitors
-Val'Krete (uninjured):

Arcing Mist-elf: Zzzz
cult (Bored): 110 cultists, 1 giant "lumberjack", 2 necromancers, 2 espers, 6 talking cats, 490 beasts, 100 large beasts, 20 satyrs, 15 minotaurs, 20 centaurs, 5 centaur scouts, 5 battle commanders (50% chance to reroll negative outcomes in combat they initiate), 2 leaders (50% chance of turning 3 into 4), 2 disaster averters (50% chance of turning 1 into 2)
Items: 2x dragonblood, Necronomicon, Improvised melee weapons, more improvised melee weapons, 25 Daragon fruit, aspirin, obviously poisoned spearmints, firearms with explosive ammo, cotton, moonshine, rough armor, Orb of Stalwart 2, discovered Orb of Storms
Rituals: Summon mini-horror [req dragon blood], create Summoning Shell [req Zinc, wood; single use], Imbue knowledge [consumes Daragon's fruit],  Stalwart burning summon [consumes Orb of Stalwart, gives summoned crippling weakness], brew power potion [consumes dragon blood, damages user], Cure Psishock [req aspirin], Ritual of Sending [no cost], Ritual of sense [no cost]
Diplomacy: good PR, Allies with Happy
Base (pit):
inquisitors (ACTIVE): 100 beasts
-Sharkon (uninjured): Submerged
-Beldroth (uninjured): Adult (+1 physique, +1 power)
-Some scrub fish (lightly injured): submerged
-Warband: 50 beasts, 10 satyrs, 10 minotaurs, attacking Quarken, allied with Quacken and Quarken's inquisitors

Hon Shadow (uninjured): Zzzzz
Additional powers: shadow teleport
cult (TAKING COVER): 45 skilled engineers, 25 beastmaster engineers, 25 beasts, support of Pope, cult in Washington DC
Items: dragonblood, cotton, rebar, concrete
Base (Sturdy fortress): Stick fence, Too many residences (minor beast infestation), nonfunctional wells
Diplomacy: "friend of humanity" PR (humanity's aid gained), support of president, support of Virginia, Florida, North Dakota and Wisconsin, animosity of Alaska and Maine
Inquisition (ACTIVE): 25 Solier inquisitors, 25 soldiers
-Unlight: Let the light guide you!
-Pope: popular

---- NPC factions
Jail: nobody relevant

Mr. Banana hammock (uninjured): 50 cultists, disturbing presence

World details:
-Orb of Stalwarts 1 and 3 destroyed

[Dustan Hache]

(now you know how I feel. I would rejoin, but I was eliminated for inactivity. if you want, you can seize my old faction and give it to banana. after all he was a close friend of speedo, who got lazy and fell asleep.)

[DAPARROT]

1000 cultists: get chalk
1000 cultists: get sand
Everyone else: improve PR