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[TheBiggerFish]

Name: Quarken
Abilities:

Ritualistic: Quarken can inscribe eldritch glyphs with his bare hands, and easily uses those to preform rituals- much easier than other horrors would.

Everything is Death: Quarken's glyphs go beyond rituals- he specializes in magical booby traps. If you enter his base, you may notice that everything he puts his trap glyphs on is trying to kill you in one way or another.

Everything Explodes: Moreover, if he puts trap glyphs on something, merely a thought indicating that he wants something with his trap glyphs on it to explode will cause it to explode.

((It seems to me like Quarken can make glyphs that do things other than explode... it's just that all the glyphs he makes can also explode if he wants them to... right?))

((^^^))

[Aslandus]

Vol-Kriit: recruit
50 cultists: summon me
455 cultists: research rituals,lots of them

Recruit: [3] You get more people to join you. (+40 cultists)
Summon: [3] They summon you through the fake orb. Wait, no, this is someone else. (summoned Handyman [-1 physique for 2 turns])

Spoiler: handyman (click to show/hide)

Name: Handyman
Abilities:
Puppeteer: can manipulate people's movement from afar... at least, a little bit...
Hatred of pointy things: To the extent that they can destroy them with a look
Mute: cannot speak by normal means

Appearance: A small, but surprisingly muscular man with huge hands wearing studded white gloves.
Homeworld: A place much like earth, except the people are small and have giant hands. He was a professional puppeteer for years following his dreams, but then he got dragged to this world, leaving behind his adoring fans. He doesn't realize you are the reason he's here... yet.

Skills:
Presence: 0
Mindlock: 0
Power: 1
Physique: 2
Appeal: 0

Research (150): [6] They delve too deeply into the tomes of old world lore and discover horrible truths of the world. But they stick with you, so it's not that problematic. The ritual they discovered is apparently one that strengthens the cultists performing it (as such, it only works on humans). The tomes suggest using large amounts of beans or meat to perform it, but protein powder would probably work fine. (150 cultists go mad, discovered Ritual of STRENGTH [consumes protein])
Research2 (150): [6] They get bored reading old scripture and want to do something else in the future. On the other hand, they did discover a handy ritual for turning cultists invisible. They won't be undetectable, but infiltrations will be much easier. It requires quicksilver and sand, luckily you already have one of those. (150 cultists dislike research, discovered ritual of invisibility [req quicksilver and sand])
Research3 (155): [2] They get nothing done on the research, apparently someone let them into the bubble soap and they've spent the whole turn having a bubble party...

New plan, Me and my Martial arts masters and chosen beat up normal inquisitors, rest of my cultists recruit the eco inquisitors.

Murder: [3] You and your finest warriors enter battle against the unwashed horde that is your inquisition. You don't end up contributing much to the fight and may as well have stayed home to avoid damaging your malleable fire body, especially since your fighters decided they should hang back to protect you instead of going in full force. (-500 inquisitors, -150 martial arts masters)
Recruit: [2] They can't get though the inquisitors' iron wills, and their logic for fighting you is sound.

Inquisitors: Arm yeselves
[6] They get some handheld death rays from the local mad scientist. Now with double the killing power! (inquisitors acquired death rays [kills user and target])
Humanity: drive off the inquisitors
[3] They convince some of the inquisitors to leave, but fail to make them stop hunting you. (-300 inquisitors)

Name: Quarken
Abilities:

Ritualistic: Quarken can inscribe eldritch glyphs with his bare hands, and easily uses those to preform rituals- much easier than other horrors would.

Everything is Death: Quarken's glyphs go beyond rituals- he specializes in magical booby traps. If you enter his base, you may notice that everything he puts his trap glyphs on is trying to kill you in one way or another.

Everything Explodes: Moreover, if he puts trap glyphs on something, merely a thought indicating that he wants something with his trap glyphs on it to explode will cause it to explode.

((It seems to me like Quarken can make glyphs that do things other than explode... it's just that all the glyphs he makes can also explode if he wants them to... right?))

((^^^))

((This is why I make you write down your abilities, so people can't just pull anything out of their hat and say they could do it all along. Because of "ritualistic" I've been letting you ad lib, but since you didn't explicitly say you can do any of that, runes that do things besides just explode or make illusions are going to be you working hard to fake it until your demise... and by "you" I mean Quarken/FallacyofUrist, not Bigger fish...))

[Humaan]

I am posting because I have decided to withdraw from this game due to being busy with school and work.

However, because I am full of spite:

Remaining Drones: Attack Quarken and his cult.

[FallacyofUrist]

Everything is Death: Quarken's glyphs go beyond rituals- he specializes in magical booby traps. If you enter his base, you may notice that everything he puts his trap glyphs on is trying to kill you in one way or another.

((I thought this bolded section would be interpreted as being able to make trap glyphs that do a variety of things.))

[Aslandus]

I am posting because I have decided to withdraw from this game due to being busy with school and work.

However, because I am full of spite:

Remaining Drones: Attack Quarken and his cult.

MURDER: [4] They tear through the untrained mass of cultists like warm butter. Guess they'll be heading the the great hereafter together. (Quarken loses 150 cultists, -50 large drones)
Seed1: attempt to eat the prisoners in jail
[2] It's way too far to reach the jailhouse from here!

Daragon must go, his planet needs him! (Daragon has left the game)

Everything is Death: Quarken's glyphs go beyond rituals- he specializes in magical booby traps. If you enter his base, you may notice that everything he puts his trap glyphs on is trying to kill you in one way or another.

((I thought this bolded section would be interpreted as being able to make trap glyphs that do a variety of things.))

((It COULD be INTERPRETED as that... but it doesn't SAY that, and when technicalities come up that's what's important. After all, it could just as easily be interpreted as meaning that the trap glyphs animate whatever they're stuck on and make them hostile to other factions.))

[Aslandus]

Hondraason still needs to make actions for the turn, you've got until I actually post the end of turn stuff to do it or I'll assume you've dropped the game

[Aslandus]

Mooney: drink booze
[5] Mooney downs the truckload of booze he stole from zomboss, and passes the hangover to everyone else. Nobody has enough mindlock to stop it, but most are able to take the edge off. (everyone but Mooney hungover now)

Hon Shadow's influence fades into forgotten history.

End of turn 16.
Big Ol' Fire (uninjured): HUNGOVER FOR [2] TURNS
cult (drunk [1]): 300 cultists, 100 fanatics, 350 martial arts masters, 400 ecologists, 50 chosen martial arts masters
items: dragon blood, Orb of Stalwart 2
Base (Apartments): abandoned neighborhood
Diplomacy: Savior-esque PR (Has humanity's aid), offering martial arts training (increases PR), owed a favor by Speedo
inquisitors (ACTIVE): 700 eco inquisitors, 25 wealthy inquisitors, 575 inquisitors, death rays [kills user and target]

Volker-hands: HUNGOVER FOR [2] TURNS
cult: 245 cultists, 150 mad cultists, 150 bored cultists, 50 injured cultists (on break for [1] turn), 100 marksmen (guarding, infiltration possible)
items: dragon blood, glass, firearms, quicksilver, silver, fake Orb of Stalwart
Rituals: Create Fake orb of Stalwart [req glass, silver; use causes weakness], Rain of Fire [consumes gasoline], Ritual of STRENGTH [consumes protein], ritual of invisibility [req quicksilver and sand]
Base (sturdy fortress):
Diplomacy: good PR
inquisitors: 115 inquisitors
-Handyman(uninjured): -1 physique for [2] turns

Quar-splosion man (DYING): HUNGOVER FOR [1] TURN
Runes: Explosion damage halved (self)
cult: 50 scholars, 26 cultists
Items: located dragons, Orb of Stalwart 4, dragon blood
Rituals: Popularity ritual (no requirements), Air bubble ritual [req soap]
Base(Bunker): recruiting trap runes [150 capacity]
Diplomacy: excellent PR, BOF no longer open to OoS related negotiations
inquisitors (ACTIVE): 51 inquisitors
+Quacken (uninjured): Has tagged Quarken with 4 damage worth of feathers

Arcing Mist-elf: (PSISHOCK - NO ABILITIES FOR [1] TURNS) HUNGOVER FOR [3] TURNS
cult (High morale): 98 cultists, 5 hecklers (negate leadership bonuses), 390 beasts, 100 large beasts, 20 satyrs, 15 minotaurs, 20 centaurs, 5 centaur scouts, 5 battle commanders (50% chance to reroll negative outcomes in combat they initiate), 2 leaders (50% chance of turning 3 into 4), 2 disaster averters (50% chance of turning 1 into 2)
Items: dragonblood, Necronomicon, Improvised melee weapons, 25 Daragon fruit, spearmint, aspirin
Rituals: Summon mini-horror [req dragon blood], create Summoning Shell [req Zinc, wood; single use], Imbue knowledge [consumes Daragon's fruit],  Stalwart burning summon [consumes Orb of Stalwart, gives summoned crippling weakness], brew power potion [consumes dragon blood, damages user], Cure Psishock [req aspirin]
Diplomacy: excellent PR, Allies with Happy
inquisitors: 100 beasts
-Sharkon (uninjured): Submerged
-Beldroth (uninjured): Adult (+1 physique, +1 power)
-Some scrub fish (lightly injured): submerged
-Warband: 50 beasts, 10 satyrs, 10 minotaurs, attacking Quarken, allied with Quacken and Quarken's inquisitors

Hon Shadow (uninjured): ZzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzz HANGOVER FOR [2] TURNS
cult: 115 skilled engineers, support of Pope, cult in Washington DC
Items: dragonblood, cotton
Base (Clearing): Stick fence
Diplomacy: Savior-esque PR (humanity's aid gained), support of president, support of Virginia, support of Florida
inquisitors:
-Unlight: Let the light guide you!
-Pope: popular

Speedy Speedoman (uninjured): HUNGOVER FOR [2] TURNS
cult (drunk [1]):444 cultists, 50 cultists (guarding), 25 marksmen, 22 happy chaos magi, 5 skilled leaders (50% chance of 3 becoming 4)
Items: partially gathered dragonblood, Orb of Stalwart 5 (GUARDED), firearms (explosive ammo), rough armor
Rituals: Create Healing Brew (req dragonblood)
Base (generic building): Punji pits and barbed wire defenses, strong community, housing
Diplomacy: good PR, allowing others to use Orb of Stalwart (improves PR when used), owe BOF and Zomboss a favor, friends with Mooney
inquisitors: 25 inquisitors
-Leader #1: Paranoid (50% chance of turning 5 into 6 on guard)
-Leader #2 (m): passively restores morale, marksman
-Leader #4 (f): marksman
-Mr. Banana hammock: 50 cultists

Zomboss with really long name (lightly injured): HUNGOVER FOR [2] TURNS
cult (high morale): 90 cultists, 10 distillers, 10 brewmasters (can serve booze to increase cultist strength), 25 hillbillies (can brew high-alcohol moonshine), 100 amateur brawlers, 50 priests
Items: Stagnant orb, improvised melee weapons
Rituals: Salmoning ritual [req stagnant orb and dragon blood], Exploding
Base (Grand Mausoleum): bunker, bar (now with better taste), still
Diplomacy: good PR, friendly with BOF and Speedo, owed a favor by Speedo
inquisitors: 25 eco inquisitors

---- NPC factions
Jail (hungover): 25 hillbillies (can brew high-alcohol moonshine) [Zomboss], Leader #5: lazy, loves casual games, good at Mario kart [Speedo]

Mooney (uninjured):

World details:
-Orb of Stalwarts 1 and 3 destroyed

[LordBrassroast]

Ah sh*t I forgot about this! Can I come back please?

[FallacyofUrist]

"Graaaghhh...."

Scholars, 26 cultists, leg n' dairy scholar: Do research to find a ritual that can heal Quarken.
150 converted inquisitors: do the ritual on Quarken.
Quarken: don't die.

[DAPARROT]

Vol-Kriit: negotiate with handyman, tell him we will work on getting him home if he helps me
45 cultists: summon me
200 cultists: recruit
150 mad cultists: research rituals
150 bored cultists: keep the mad cultists from doing anything too dangerous

[Dustan Hache]

Chaos magi: Train more chaos magi from our cultists!
Leaders: hold a omniscient council of vagueness for the cult. binge play XCOM enemy unknown, XCOM 2, and XCOM the boardgame.
Leader 5: Pay bail for self and go attend aforementioned council.
Me: Go ask moony to pass my hangover to someone else, cause I am his friend.
Marksmen: go recruiting, but DON'T BRING GUNS!

[Aslandus]

Ah sh*t I forgot about this! Can I come back please?

Sure, since I gave you about 3 hours notice I'll let you pop back in

[Aslandus]

"Graaaghhh...."

Scholars, 26 cultists, leg n' dairy scholar: Do research to find a ritual that can heal Quarken.
150 converted inquisitors: do the ritual on Quarken.
Quarken: don't die.

Research a ritual: [4] Your leg n dairy scholar has tragically died due to being murdered by inquisitors, but your other cultists get to work researching the ritual. They find a regeneration ritual which should heal you as fast as conventional medicine, and which ironically uses medical supplies. (discovered regeneration ritual [req medical supplies])
Ritual: [no roll] Due to being mauled by gold monsters they can't help you.
Dodge death: [4] You manage to slip back into consciousness before the angel of death carries you away. You're still bleeding from several places and in excruciating pain, but you're alive. (now heavily wounded)

Inquisitors: kill Quarken!
[3] They run into the base and kick you in the head before the traps brainwash them. You pass out again. (Quarken back on death's door, 51 inquisitors converted)
Quacken: Kersplodey now!
[2] Quacken doesn't seem too keen on making those fireworks happen. Maybe it's just a regular duck after all and the hype is over nothing.

Vol-Kriit: negotiate with handyman, tell him we will work on getting him home if he helps me
45 cultists: summon me
200 cultists: recruit
150 mad cultists: research rituals
150 bored cultists: keep the mad cultists from doing anything too dangerous

Negotiate: [1] You accidentally antagonize him with your negotiating. Maybe letting it slip that (Handyman now hostile)
summon: [3] They summon another scrub. Dammit, you knew changing your address wasn't a good idea. (summoned Val'krete)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Val'krete
Abilities:
Telekinesis
Smite pointy things

Appearnance: a blue pair of hands with eyes on the fingertips
Homeworld: The world Volkriit originates from, he was recently banished for egregious crimes he refuses to tell you about

Skills:
Presence: 0
Mindlock: 1
Power: 1
Physique: 1
Appeal: 0

recruit: [3] They get more people into the party, it's really kicking off now. (+100 cultists)
research: [3] They find a pitual. It's a large pit where magic happens occasionally, usually in the form of granting a wish. It's kind of like a ritual but a lot less reliable. At least using it is free. (discovered pitual)
Inhibit negative effects: [3] They prevent the madmen from leaping into the pitual. Standing this close to a weak point in the bindings of the world is probably unhealthy, but falling in would be much worse.

Chaos magi: Train more chaos magi from our cultists!
Leaders: hold a omniscient council of vagueness for the cult. binge play XCOM enemy unknown, XCOM 2, and XCOM the boardgame.
Leader 5: Pay bail for self and go attend aforementioned council.
Me: Go ask moony to pass my hangover to someone else, cause I am his friend.
Marksmen: go recruiting, but DON'T BRING GUNS!

Train: [4] They teach some of the other cultists the wonders of chaos and the power that it brings. (22 cultists become chaos magi)
Council of vagueness: [4] They discuss matters of cult management and work on their tactical skills via gratuitous amounts of XCOM. (Leaders 1-4 gain tactical skills [50% chance of rerolling negative rolls on combat])
Pay bail: [1] He tries to pay his bail with bottlecaps. The guards have gotten annoyed enough with him that they're restricting his actions from now on. (Leader 5 cannot act anymore until freed)
Ask for healing: [3] You convince Mooney to take the edge off your hangover, and he transfers it to that dying guy since he's probably about to be gone anyway. (1 turn of hangover removed, .5 added to Quarken)
Recruit: [1] They didn't listen and brought their guns. Turns out that didn't go over well with the locals. (+25 inquisitors)

[crazyabe]

I: make the Dead Walk in my name.
hillbillies: Play monopoly until you get a "Get out of Jail Free" Card.
Cultists: Recruit.
Priests: Get Drunk and give a good sermon about how awesome I am to Random people.
amateur brawlers: Train to be Adept Brawlers.

[Aslandus]

I: make the Dead Walk in my name.
hillbillies: Play monopoly until you get a "Get out of Jail Free" Card.
Cultists: Recruit.
Priests: Get Drunk and give a good sermon about how awesome I am to Random people.
amateur brawlers: Train to be Adept Brawlers.

LIVE AGAIN!: [4] You raise a bunch of undead minions to serve as your front line. They kinda suck as far as minions go, but you get a bunch of them. (+200 zombies)
Get out of jail: [5] They manage to liberate themselves from jail, despite there being no Monopoly in jail. They seem to have discovered some latent talent with making things materialize. (hillbillies gain ability to summon materials, hillbillies freed from jail)
Recruit: [6] They bring more people into the cult, but also inspire a new generation of inquisitors to take up the call. (+90 cultists, +90 inquisitors)
PR: [3] They dip a little too deeply into the holy wine, and the slurring makes them seem a little off kilter during their sermons. Still, they manage to make you look good. (PR slightly up)
Train: [4] They become proficient at beating the snot out of people, and partly due to lack of competition end up being in the master class of punching things. (brawlers become master brawlers)