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[Adragis]

Cultists: Summon me with the gold ritual!
...I'm fairly certain I have the right things!

[Aslandus]

Cultists: Summon me with the gold ritual!
...I'm fairly certain I have the right things!

You appear to be missing tallow candles, your cultists will have to run off to get those instead
[1] What are these? They're pretty funny looking for candles, and appear to be covered in some kind of waxy paper covering... well, let's light one up and see what *boom* oops... (found dynamite, -100 cultists)

[Evonix]

Let's just skip/run generic commands on desert dude's turn

[Aslandus]

Fair enough, but I won't be able to update until about 7:00 tonight, I have class starting in an hour

[Aslandus]

Anthaju opens his psi-net chat client from the underworld

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sand_Kitty: Curse you, Dice God! You have gotten me sent to the underworld! Now Beer_Bitch is gonna take over the world!
Dice_Meister: Sorry to hear that bro, but you know I don't take sides. Want me to send you some dice to apologize?
Sand_Kitty: No! That won't bring my brothers and sisters back!
Dice_Meister: Too late
Sand_Kitty has received summon_dice.exe
Sand_Kitty has logged out

Humanity
Attack CARP's... nothing... I guess:
[irrelevant] They attack CARP's nothing. Nothing happens.

Attack Unescargot directly
[6] They charge recklessly and get many killed in the fight, but in his weakened state Unescargot can't hold himself together, dissipating into a fine mist (Unescargot is dead)

End of Turn 18.
score:
Unescargot (DEAD): summoned, getting old
-cultists: 130 cultists, 10 infiltrator cultists (infiltrating Rabe, can open gate to his base), 5 high morale empowered wealthy cultists, 5 annoyed empowered wealthy cultists, 10 wealthy cultists, 8 cultists in high places, 100 trained cultists, 3 veterans, professional journalist hirelings, limited connection to president, all disheartened
-Items: veteran memoirs
-Inquisitors: 40 lightly armed inquisitors, 10 inquisitors, inquisitorial demolition hirelings, know where you're hiding, inquisitors active
-Other: host of ihatecarp.com, knows ritual of fading strength, knows self banishing ritual, hated by humanity, knows power swap ritual, knows yoga, knows ritual of summon oranges {req chalk}
--Puff Puff (dispersed): plush toy that looks just like him

Tavern wench:
-cultists: 15 heavily armed cultists
-Items: Swelteringly hot base in the desert (breached), has dragon blood, has mercury
-Inquisitors: 90 inquisitors, 80 well trained inquisitors, 50 lightly armed inquisitors, 5 inquisitors in high places, Inquisitors activated
-Other: well known, moderately bad PR, leaderly campaign started well, refugee organization made, knows stability summoning {req mercury, consumes orb of stability, can sub Dragon blood [causes injury]}, knows ritual of summon oranges {req chalk}
--Crux the mad (DEAD): killed 10% of Earth's population

TROG (DEAD): summoned, vanished into the abyss
-cultists:
-Problems: despised by humanity
-Items: has dragon blood
--GORT(DEAD): 124 mummies
--KONG(lightly wounded): hallucinating

Anthaju(DEAD): summoned, resting in peace
-cultists: 55 cultists, 15 reapers
-Items: has a flooded pyramid with a shoddy shack on top for a base, has money, prepared self banishment ritual, has metal, has dragon blood
-Inquisitors: 3 strong mummy inquisitors, 20 inquisitorial reapers, inquisitors activated
-Other: has weighed Unescargot and TROG, knows self banishing ritual, destroyed Orb of Stalwart 4, knows ritual of fusion, bad PR

Koshu:
-Cultists: 175 cultists, 200 heavily armed cultists guarding, 80 empowered insane cultists
-Items: has a tool shed base surrounded by booby traps, has a few spaceship components, has extra spikes
-Inquisitors: 155 armed inquisitors, 182 inquisitors, have weak siege engines set up, inquisitors activated
-Other: excellent PR, satellite launched, knows "cascade" ritual, knows sacrificial summoning ritual {requires Dragonblood, consumes 500 sacrificial cultists}, knows ritual of rain of fire {consumes dragon blood and thermite}

Rabe (uninjured): summoned, can drown people and detect beards/alcohol
-Cultists: 1911 cultists, 400 heavily armed cultists, 100 trained heavily armed cultists, 100 hallucinating cultists,  30 hallucinating cultists (guarding), 50 hallucinating armed cultists, 10 contagious hallucinating cultists, 1 old hallucinating cultist (guarding for Puff puff), 25 recognizable cultists, 15 hallucinating recognizable cultists
-Items: has sturdy base with defenses (+lightning rods, humidifiers, and 20 gun turrets), has a bunch of metal, has bricks and concrete, has a bunch of molds/casts for stuff (weapons, armor and missile shells are the important ones), knows location of Lunar Orb of Stalwart, has colorful chalk, has dragon blood
-Inquisitors: 200 inquisitors, have ornate mansion base, inquisitors activated
-Other: KI website and company set up, posters put up, campaign for president started,  destroyed Orb of Stalwart 1, second in command to carp's faction, mixed PR, founded Miskatonic University, requested Koshu's permission to summon him, knows ritual of summon oranges {req chalk}
--Miskatonic University: has book of power swap ritual, knows power swap ritual, researched Orb of Stalwart

DF CARP: rather calm, thinks TROG is carp, ageless and better with psychic power, regained swimming power and control of carp
-goal: CARP LIFE
-Cultists: CARP LIFE DON'T NEED HELP *sniffle*
-Items: CARP LIFE DON'T NEED MATERIAL GOODS
-Inquisitors: inquisitors destroyed Orbs of Stalwart 3 and 5
-Other: CARP LIFE 4 EVAR, has turned into a DF carp (it's what you always dreamed of),  destroyed the focus stone, going crazy, detested by humanity
--GOEARERKSFLES (DEAD): unending hunger,  mass: 200, physique +2

Rosabel:
Cultists: 251 cultists, 100 slightly healthier cultists, 50 assassin cultists
Items: has dragon blood, has gold block, has dynamite
Inquisitors: 30 inquisitors, inquisitors have destroyed Orb of Storms 1 and Orb of Stalwart 2
Other: good PR, has humanity's sympathy, buried the dead, knows gold summoning ritual {req gold block, dragonblood, tallow candles, causes weakness}, knows ritual of summon oranges {req chalk}

Other: Poison widely available, 10% of Earth's population gone, cascade impossible, everyone is on psi-net

[FallacyofUrist]

All of my cultists: to the best of your ability, inform the president about the misguided people who killed me and why they were wrong. Explain that I intended to end the drought in California and the one in Texas. Explain that to honor my memory he should order an assault on Rabe. Preferably with nukes.

[Aslandus]

All of my cultists: to the best of your ability, inform the president about the misguided people who killed me and why they were wrong. Explain that I intended to end the drought in California and the one in Texas. Explain that to honor my memory he should order an assault on Rabe. Preferably with nukes.

The restless dead shutters in its grave
Curry favor: [2] The president is a man (well, he looks sort of like a man at least) with a large cowboy hat, and thin gray hair running all along his body. He seems to have small cow horns coming out of the sides of his head, but they're obscured by his comically large hat. He doesn't seem impressed with your spiel.
Cowboy_cowboy: "You know boys? I've learned there are two kinds of people in this world, folks that talk about what they want to do and folks that will actually do what they want to do. I see your old boss felt more inclined to talk himself up than actually help them folks having trouble. Run along now, no sense standing around where you ain't needed."
Call out Rabe: [4] "Rabe's planning what now? That two faced fluffinpuff thinks he'll beat me in the next election? HA! I'd like to see him try." (President will spread libel about Rabe).

Inquisitors: celebrate a job well done! The cloud fiend is dead!
[6] They party too hard and some of them die of alcohol poisoning (-10 inquisitors, inquisitors deactivated)

[wipeout1024]

Find the Orb of Stability.
Cultists: Recruit

You have seen my actions, right?

[Aslandus]

Find the Orb of Stability.
Cultists: Recruit

You have seen my actions, right?

What actions?
Find orb: [3] You find the orb and tell your cultists where it is (found orb of stability 1) ((You should really be sending your cultists to do this, especially since you have barely any and would get more returns from recruiting yourself))
recruit: [5] They do an excellent job bringing people to join your cause. They probably left out mentioning how many people you USED to have helping you, and due to their limited numbers don't actually get that many people to join... (+30 cultists).

Heat: kill cultists
[1] It's actually not that hot out today, must be that cloud of mist that just blew through. (one turn of solace from the heat)

Inquisitors: TW has foolishly left the giant hole in her base! Kill the cultists while you have a chance!
[6] They slaughter all of your cultists, but not without losses (-30 cultists, -15 heavily armed cultists, -55 inquisitors, -10 lightly armed inquisitors)
Inquisitors in high places: contract a base to be built
[1] They try to find some people to build a base, but word gets out that they are working for a cult and they lose all credibility, though people still remember their names. (now merely recognizable inquisitors)

[Evonix]

Me: "What idiot left the door open?" Psychicly scan for said idiots (I may not be able to look into an unwilling mind but A: No minds should be closed to me in my cult and B: I know a block when I see one.)
200 cultists: Go to misitonic university and ask them to research a way to store a horrors power without putting them into someone(put them into a orb of storage rather than a feline of me.)
All hallucinating cultists: Wash off.
500 Cultists: build training facility complete with training weapons inside the wall.
500 Cultists: add another line of defence, add a underground bunker(with the well defended and hidden entrance also inside the wall.
In the interest of reduseing Cultists without killing anybody...
611 Cultists and the non-hallucinating recognisable cultists: Become k.I.(kitten industrys) that will be semi-autonomus metal recycling and shaping company and my Weapon supplier(use the molds).
200 heavily armed cultists: guard.
100 trained heavily armed cultists: Capture the inquisitors fancy mansion.
100 Cultists: Use the humidifier to try and recrute puff-puff.
200 heavily armed cultists:Train, use the training facility if it has been built.

[Aslandus]

Me: "What idiot left the door open?" Psychicly scan for said idiots (I may not be able to look into an unwilling mind but A: No minds should be closed to me in my cult and B: I know a block when I see one.)
200 cultists: Go to misitonic university and ask them to research a way to store a horrors power without putting them into someone(put them into a orb of storage rather than a feline of me.)
All hallucinating cultists: Wash off.
500 Cultists: build training facility complete with training weapons inside the wall.
500 Cultists: add another line of defence, add a underground bunker(with the well defended and hidden entrance also inside the wall.
In the interest of reduseing Cultists without killing anybody...
611 Cultists and the non-hallucinating recognisable cultists: Become k.I.(kitten industrys) that will be semi-autonomus metal recycling and shaping company and my Weapon supplier(use the molds).
200 heavily armed cultists: guard.
100 trained heavily armed cultists: Capture the inquisitors fancy mansion.
100 Cultists: Use the humidifier to try and recrute puff-puff.
200 heavily armed cultists:Train, use the training facility if it has been built.

Scan: [3] You already know where the traitors are. They are all around, you can feel it in your adorable little kitten bones. You don't actually have the power to detect loyalty, but you can smell the deceit on every one of those robed bastards (You feel paranoid)
Research: [3] They find references to a method of storing power of a horror, using a specific object created through a ritual and used on a living horror, it would allow cultists to become fake "chosen" of the horror without actually being loyal to them and has the bonus of allowing the power to be stored after they die. Anything else about it seems to be classified unfortunately, though MU will try to get authorization if they get a turn to themselves. (Aware of power store ritual, Miskatonic university seeking authorization)
Wash: [4] They run through a deluge of water while trying to catch something they keep calling "bird fish", and the dust causing their hallucinations washes off (Hallucinations over)
Trainer build: [5] They build a large training center complete with firing ranges and hand to hand combat dummies. Some of them are a bit old fashioned, but the old ways work best sometimes. (grand training center built)
Defense build: [5] They build a deeper bunker that isn't as obvious as the one you already have.
Autonomise: [4] They take your company and make it an independent firm. They will of course sell you weapons for less, but they will now likely take their own actions if not contracted. They don't actually have a smelter because of some unfortunate accident that happened awhile ago, but they will do what they can with hammers and fire (KI made into a sub faction, 611 cultists and 25 recognizable cultists transferred).
guard: [1] They're starting to think you're over-militarizing the base a bit, and decide to hang out at the bar instead. Some of them seem to have gotten lost. (-50 heavily armed cultists)
Steal mansion: [1] They were a little better prepared than your cultists planned for. Who would've thought (-25 heavily armed trained cultists)
Steal puff puff: [1] Puff puff is engorged by all the water vapor and rains a deluge down on your entire base. Everyone is hallucinating, and even you feel the madness soaking through your fur, your mindlock only letting you get a few rational thoughts through at a time. Puff puff doesn't seem convinced that he should follow you, and your babbling about all the world's militaries rising against your cult isn't helping. (Everyone is hallucinating now, 50% chance of failing to issue orders until you clean off) ((That means each order will have an extra roll, 4-6 the order goes through, 1-3 you are babbling too much for anything to happen))
train: [2] They see the equipment in the training center and say "I'll get to it tomorrow" then watch TV for the rest of the turn.

MU: do the thing [irrelevant] already done

KI: exist [irrelevant] done

100 Inquisitors: recruit
[4] They bring more people to fight the evils of big business (+100 inquisitors).
100 inquisitors: Contract weapons for your army from Kitten Industries, they are professional business people now after all
[1] Turns out they aren't that professional. The inquisitors will file a formal complaint to the management right after these idiots stop killing themselves with exploding defective guns. (-50 inquisitors)

[wipeout1024]

Recruit.

[Evonix]

Talking to KI "Thank you for not selling to groups who wish to kill me but why pasta?

To give you a break from huge lists of commands...
Me and all hallucinating cultists: cultists wash off then come back and clean me off.

[Aslandus]

Talking to KI "Thank you for not selling to groups who wish to kill me but why pasta?

"Well, they were actually made of metal, we just chopped up the inside so they wouldn't work properly, but that won't stop us from taking their money . You okay, Rabe? You look a little out of sorts..."

[carp]

THIS IS MY CURRENT TUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
ME:RECRUUUUIIIIIIIITTTTT
any recruited cultist's RECRRRUIIIIIIITTTT