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[carp]

Edit: also, you made a character entirely based on carp, with the word carp making up about 50% of the description, insane rambling is sort of a given

AAAAaaaaaaaaand?

[Evonix]

Me: Ask if TROG'S cultist's would rather follow a kitten than a gorilla cockroach thing... promise better retirement benefits than being killed horribly.
Kitten party: Try again, talk about K.I.(Kitten Industries) and how they'r recycling and making jobs.
50 cultists: Create a sign up booth near the posters for K.I. now that the students have had time to warm up to me ("K.I. is just starting out and we need strong people with strong minds(Some people should be setting up a place to start up,"should".).").
70 Cultists: Build a base near the scrap heap.
50 Cultists: Look for orb of stalwart and if they find it hire a moving van to bring it back.
30 Cultists: Get materials for a solar forge (Lot's of mirrors focus sunlight to melt metal.).
Koshu I think an alliance would be beneficial, I'm also interested in space travel and I can send some help if you need it.

[Ardent Debater]

TROGDOR: Telepathically Recruit some Anarchist Nutjobs as Cultists. Also, BE ANGRY.
50 Cultists: Get the Summoning Materials and Summon Trogdor NOW!
New Cultists: Use your Anarchist Rebel skills to acquire weapons.

"ME SMASH ONCE ME GET OUT! ME USE STEREOTYPE HULK-SPEAK AS SUBSTITUTE FOR CHARACTER BUILDING, RAH!"

[Evonix]

TROG did a thing? huray!

[Aslandus]

Me: Fill the water in California with vicious dwarf fortress carp and tell politicians it was the cloud guy. and if they join me we can stop this fiend trying to dirty my good name.
Cultists: tell your friends how much food they can get if they join me also try to avoid guys who go on ihatecarp.com or ihatecarp.net
[/b]

Summon bigger fish: [3] Well, there's still not much water even with the rain that hasn't been summoned yet, but there's now a bunch of carp in it. No DF carp though, since nobody was screaming in fear at the time. Somehow I don't think they're going to be fooled by a giant fish which is documented to summon fish telling them it was the cloud guy who put fish in their rain water, but you make the accusation anyway... (California plagued with carp, accusation failed against Unescargot)
cultists: [4] They tell them all about how good you treat them and what a bunch of chumps those guys on ihatecarp.com and .net are. Their friends don't have internet connectivity so they just believe them. (spreading the "good" word)

70 Inquisitors: search for an antidote to the carp plague
[1] They find and perform a ritual to turn a rock into an anti-carp rock. Whoops, they accidentally made a focusing stone. That would probably speed up his incursion if they don't destroy it. Of course, it would probably work for other horrors too, but best to get rid of it before it becomes a problem (focus stone made).

TROGDOR: Telepathically Recruit some Anarchist Nutjobs as Cultists. Also, BE ANGRY.
50 Cultists: Get the Summoning Materials and Summon Trogdor NOW!
New Cultists: Use your Anarchist Rebel skills to acquire weapons.

"ME SMASH ONCE ME GET OUT! ME USE STEREOTYPE HULK-SPEAK AS SUBSTITUTE FOR CHARACTER BUILDING, RAH!"

Recruit: [5] You gather people who hate civilization. They seem a big nuts, but that's sort of what you were aiming for. Also, you're ALWAYS angry. (+100 anarchist cultists).
cultists:
Gather! [1] Fuck that, man! They didn't join an anarchist revolution to get bossed around by someone they can't even see! They're outta here! (-50 cultists)
Steal some weapons [2] They can't seem to organize well enough to get anything done. Who would've thought people that hate civilization would have trouble coordinating?

[Aslandus]

End of turn 3.
score:
Unescargot: 150 cultists, 10 wealthy cultists, 10 inquisitors in high places, 60 inquisitors, host of ihatecarp.com, access to Orb of Stalwarts 2 and 3

Tavern wench: 95 cultists, 50 recognizable cultists, 5 cultists in high places, 45 inquisitors, inquisitors active

TROG: 100 anarchist cultists, 30 inquisitors, access to Orb of Stalwart 2

Anthaju: 250 cultists, 75 armed cultists, access to Orb of Stalwart 1, 5 strong mummy inquisitors, mega failed diplomacy with TROG

Koshu: 375 cultists, 45 inquisitors

Rabe: 250 cultists, 30 inquisitors, posters put up, campaign for president started, has a bunch of metal

CARP: 75 cultists, a bunch of fish,has plagued California with carp, unsuccessfully accused Unescargot of doing it), 70 inquisitors, inquisitors active, inquisitors have a focus stone

Rosabel: 100 cultists, 100 slightly healthier cultists, bad PR

((Did I miss anything? I feel like I missed something...))

[Adragis]

Turn 4?:
Curses.
Lightly chasten those 50 followers for their failure. Still, I suppose it wasn't their fault. I will allow them to attempt redemption.
50 cultists: Attempt to get my PR back up again.
Another 50 cultists: continue recruiting.
100 cultists, look for an 'Orb of Stalwart'.

[Ardent Debater]

TROG: BE SLIGHTLY ANNOYED BY THE SETBACK! Then Recruit some more Anarchists.
50 Anarchist Cultists: Gather Summoning Materials.
50 Anarchist Cultists: Make Stone-Age Spears and SMASH THE INQUISITORS!

[FallacyofUrist]

Me: Recruit more wealthy people.
100 cultists and 5 wealthy cultists: Build a fortress for me and my minions.
50 cultists: Recruit more generics.
5 other wealthy cultists: Recruit military veterans.

((Does ihatecarp.com get an action?))

[Aslandus]

((Does ihatecarp.com get an action?))

Not by itself, but you can have your cultists work through it...

[Evonix]

CARP thought "if they join me" was pretty clear recruiting (the sign up booth is recruiting too.)

[carp]

this is my new turn four
Me ask people in poor countries if they have seen a large quartz sphere tell them I will give them carp if they tell me where it is and join my cult.
10 cultist: study why carp flailing is so funny with your new-found knowledge become jester cultist.
40 cultists: search for for dragon's blood flee and record the place if people start drinking it if not bring it back.
10 cultists with internet and media knowledge: start a smear campaign against ihatecarp.com say they are just jealous of all this free carp.
15 cultists: get the focussing stone pretend to be the cloud guy's cultist and say it will be used to defeat the CARP or possibly cod not really sure which it is.
((when i was spreading the good word last time i meant recruiting))

[InsaneRationalist]

Koshu I think an alliance would be beneficial, I'm also interested in space travel and I can send some help if you need it.

Rabe helpfully would be, yes.

End of turn 3.

Updated Turn 4 Actions:
Koshu and 100 cultists: build and (using Koshu's telekinesis) launch a small communications satellite, à la Sputnik-1.
75 cultists: improve PR. If the satellite launch is successful, use that to improve PR.
175 cultists: recruit.
25 cultists: politely inquire with CARP Inquisitors regarding puchasing their focus stone for aerospace purposes.

[FallacyofUrist]

Cultists (basic ones, anyway) are pretty much useless outside intervals of 50. I don't think your turn four actions are going to work, carp.

[InsaneRationalist]

Me ask people in poor countries if they have seen a large quartz sphere tell them I will give them carp if they tell me where it is and join my cult.

((Man, I sure am glad I am a vaguely octohedral chunk of obsidian!))