Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Aslandus]

Me: Turn my Cultists worthless Electronic Junk into War Golems and then Attempt to summon a Beserk Balrog in the midst of the Jocks.
Balrog: Smite the Jocks
War Golems: Fight the Jocks if any are left, Otherwise Get the Dragon Blood.
90 Cultists: Get the Dragon Blood.
10 Cultists: Recruit more Cultists.

[4] You use your power to make several small golems out of scrap electronics. Alas, they aren't very strong, partially due to your limited power from being in a different world and partially due to being made of cheap circuit boards rather than solid metal, but they can still perform some tasks that you deem to hazardous or too menial for your cultists (+50 scrap golems)

Fresh war golems (bold move ordering them when you just summoned them, but just fine)
[3] The tiny robots kick the jocks in the shins and give them some nasty cuts, that'll teach them to mess with you and your adorable robot army! (Inquisitors lightly injured)
Cultists:
[6] They find and collect the dragon blood, bringing several vials back with them. As it turns out, it's also highly toxic when ingested. Who knew? (gained dragon blood, -45 cultists)
[4] They find others to join in your cause. Some of them just came for the free pizza, but most are here for the fun of bringing fantasy into the real world (+50 cultists).

((dammit, I keep forgetting about inquisitors, I gotta edit Nightmare's turn to add the inquisitors' actions))

[Sl4cker]

Bah, why do all these humans look so similar? No matter. When they die to my plague, at least I can reanimate them.

Me: Once more, plague those inquisitors!
Soon-to-be-dead-cultists: Search for suitable replacements before you become much less charismatic. Don't you dare spread the disease to your replacements before I'm done with them!

[Aslandus]

Bah, why do all these humans look so similar? No matter. When they die to my plague, at least I can reanimate them.

Me: Once more, plague those inquisitors!
Soon-to-be-dead-cultists: Search for suitable replacements before you become much less charismatic. Don't you dare spread the disease to your replacements before I'm done with them!

[6] You unleash a wave of pestilence onto the inquisitors. They realize this is your doing and will try to accomplish something before their untimely demise (Inquisitors plagued, inquisitors activated)

cultists:
[6] They enthusiastically bring more into your cult, and even keep them from getting sick. Unfortunately, seeing the state you leave your own followers in convinces some people they should try to keep you away, and having known crazy people tell you to do something isn't very convincing (+25 cultists, +25 inquisitors)

End of turn 4.
Score/inventory:
Nightmare - 165 cultists, cave base, 100 inquisitors, inquisitors active
Carl Yelvin - 105 cultists, 35 lightly injured inquisitors, 50 scrap golems, dragon blood
Plauge Doctor - 50 dying mad cultists, 25 cultists, 10 plagued inquisitors, 25 inquisitors, inquisitors activated
Mad matron - 25 cultists, 20 paranoid inquisitors, inquisitors active

Make the inquisitors go mad.
20 cultists: Recruit more people. 60 cultists: Find the Orb of Stalwart again. 20 cultists: Do good deeds.

[6] You push their minds to the brink of madness and shove them right past it. Try and recruit now you psychos! (inquisitors have gone mad)

cultists:
[6] They go around handing out flyers and shouting at people to serve the Mad Matron. Some people join, but others are convinced to fight against you (+40 cultists, +25 inquisitors)
[1] They find a giant boulder, some of them get crushed trying to bring it back to the ritual site (-30 cultists)
[2] They fail to do much of anything, especially good deeds. They are too distracted by all the bad dreams they've been having.

Inquisitors: madmen - kill cultists, other guys - recruit
[4] they strike with maddening fervor, slaying some of your cultists and escaping with most of their forces intact (-20 cultists, -10 mad inquisitors)
[2] They can't get anyone to join, and don't extend themselves so far as to make people hate them.

Cultists:
75 - Find an Orb of Stalwart of my own
40 - Find the rest of the things needed for the ritual.
50 - Buy guns and ammunition and fortify the base.

You decide to take a breather and let your cultists do the work for once.
[4] Your cultists find the orb of stalwart, it was hidden twelve feet from where it was originally, covered in a colorful blanket (regained access to Orb of Stalwart 1)
[1] They find nothing, and some of them get lost in the forest, never to return (-30 cultists).
[3] None of them have gun permits, so they just buy water guns and fill them with gasoline. Very low range, but they should be fine for defending your cave... at least, assuming they don't eat up all the air in here... (+cave defense (crude flamethrowers))

Inquisitors: get weapons
[2] They get distracted by some of the restaurants near the weapon shop and miss their turn

[UnicodingUnicorn]

It appears that we need to attain more appeal to win the hearts of the populace.

Try and give the inquisitors nightmares, persuading them to stop inquisiting.

Cultists:
130 - Attack the Cult of Carl Yelvin for dragon blood. Retreat if losses are great or if target is attained.
35 - Create and market a line of Nightmare plushies. Plushies make everything appealing.

[wipeout1024]

Recruit more people.
Cultists: Find the Orb of Stalwart.

[Sl4cker]

They think they can stop death do they? Well, can they stop the dying?

Dying cultists: SUICIDE RUSH INTO THE INQUISITORS! ATTACK! It will not matter if you die, for you will be reborn anew.
Me: Reanimate any and all cultists that die into plague zombies! If (somehow) none die, grab any more followers I can.
Not-dying-cultists: Search for dragon blood.

[Aslandus]

They think they can stop death do they? Well, can they stop the dying?

Dying cultists: SUICIDE RUSH INTO THE INQUISITORS! ATTACK! It will not matter if you die, for you will be reborn anew.
Me: Reanimate any and all cultists that die into plague zombies! If (somehow) none die, grab any more followers I can.
Not-dying-cultists: Search for dragon blood.

Suicidal loonies:
[6] They charge headlong into battle against those damned doctors, who do they think they are trying to heal the sick? Naturally, some of them fall in the charge, but it's not too high a price for getting rid of opposition. You let the bastards who are already on death's door off easy, partly because they are in another area away from the healthy guys (-25 inquisitors, -10 plagued inquisitors, -35 mad dying cultists).

Alas, it is not within your power to resurrect those who die while diseased, only those who die OF disease:

* The Plague Doctor can reanimate those who died of disease.

So you just try to recruit
[1] Seems not many people approve of your "100 plagues of victory" campaign. Some health advocates pick up where the other guys left off, and are very aware of how dangerous you are (+20 inquisitors, still active).

Other guys:
[4] They find enough dragon blood to perform the ritual of summoning. All you need now is the Orb of Stalwart and to actually do the ritual (dragon blood acquired).

Inquisitors: look for a cure
[4] They can't find any vaccinations or a specific cure, but antibiotics seem to work fine for getting rid of the plague (can now treat plague victims).

[Urist Arrhenius]

((You should just convince everyone the treatments lead to autism. Then they'll happily accept disease and death over a happy life. ))

[Aslandus]

((You should just convince everyone the treatments lead to autism. Then they'll happily accept disease and death over a happy life. ))

((There's no vaccinations yet, only generic antibiotics. Granted, a smear campaign against medicine could still work, but the reference you're going for is misplaced.))

[Urist Arrhenius]

((You should just convince everyone the treatments lead to autism. Then they'll happily accept disease and death over a happy life. ))

((There's no vaccinations yet, only generic antibiotics. Granted, a smear campaign against medicine could still work, but the reference you're going for is misplaced.))

((Vaccines, antibiotics, doesn't much matter to the public. A single fraudulent study is all it takes.))

[Sl4cker]

Alas, it is not within your power to resurrect those who die while diseased, only those who die OF disease:

((I realized that while at school after I posted. I feel ashamed.))

Other guys:
[4] They find enough dragon blood to perform the ritual of summoning. All you need now is the Orb of Stalwart and to actually do the ritual (dragon blood acquired).

((Wait, don't I already have access to the orb of stalwart? The second one?))

Cultists:
[5] They find it difficult due to not knowing where any of that stuff is and having never met the Mad matron or any of her followers, but by sheer luck they happen to find an orb of stalwart. Praise be to madness! (gained access to orb of stalwart 2)

These thrice damned wastes of oxygen humans call "inquisitors" just keep coming. Enough games! The world shall know my name!

And they will fear it!

Me: Convince everyone the treatments lead to autism Start plaguing the inquisitors again!
Cultists: If we have the orb of stalwart, START SUMMONING GO GO GO
If retcon happens;
15 plagued cultists: find the orb of stalwart again!
Rest of you blokes: Recruit more!

[Aslandus]

Alas, it is not within your power to resurrect those who die while diseased, only those who die OF disease:

((I realized that while at school after I posted. I feel ashamed.))

Other guys:
[4] They find enough dragon blood to perform the ritual of summoning. All you need now is the Orb of Stalwart and to actually do the ritual (dragon blood acquired).

((Wait, don't I already have access to the orb of stalwart? The second one?))

Cultists:
[5] They find it difficult due to not knowing where any of that stuff is and having never met the Mad matron or any of her followers, but by sheer luck they happen to find an orb of stalwart. Praise be to madness! (gained access to orb of stalwart 2)

These thrice damned wastes of oxygen humans call "inquisitors" just keep coming. Enough games! The world shall know my name!

And they will fear it!

Me: Convince everyone the treatments lead to autism Start plaguing the inquisitors again!
Cultists: If we have the orb of stalwart, START SUMMONING GO GO GO
If retcon happens;
15 plagued cultists: find the orb of stalwart again!
Rest of you blokes: Recruit more!

((Whoops, I forgot to copy it down in the inventory and didn't realize you had it, you can perform the ritual if you want... If AD doesn't take his turn in the next two hours he doesn't get a turn and he can whine about it later))

[Ardent Debater]

((OK, I'm going to be camping for two days and probably won't be able to Post until Monday, For my following actions I just recruit more Followers, Create actual Metal Golems from Car Metal and grant the Nerdiest Cultists Magical Powers.))

[Aslandus]

Me: Order my Followers to Summon Me!
100 Cultists: Summon Me!
5 Cultists: Recruit more Cultists and use the Scrap Golems as Proof.
25 Scrap Golems: Prove My Existence.
25 Scrap Golems: Defend My Cultists.

technically you're late, but I had a blood bowl game I forgot about, so I'll let you have this action
[3] You successfully order them to summon you. It doesn't change much.
[5] They summon you super goodly, some more cultists join in having heard those other guys weren't crazy (+50 cultists)
[3] They show everyone their cool scrap golems. Some people think they're cool. (+25 cultists)
[4] They back up the other guys in recruiting, showing off your ability to be real. It makes the results of the recruiting better than otherwise.
[3 - degree irrelevant] They will defend your cultists should something attack them, with all of their tiny scrap metal power.

End of turn 5.
score:
Nightmare - 135 cultists, cave base with flame thrower defenses, 100 inquisitors, inquisitors active, access to Orb of Stalwart 1
Carl Yelvin - 180 cultists, 35 recovering lightly injured inquisitors, 50 scrap golems, dragon blood, access to Orb of Stalwart 3, summoned
Plauge Doctor - 15 corpses of mad cultists, 25 cultists, 20 inquisitors, inquisitors activated, inquisitors can treat plague victims, access to Orb of Stalwart 2, has dragon blood
Mad matron - 15 cultists, 10 mad inquisitors, 25 inquisitors, inquisitors active

((son of a bitch, everyone reminds me when I forget their orb, but nobody tells be when I neglect to give the active inquisitors a turn even if it's for somebody else, some minor retconning to be done))

[Aslandus]

It appears that we need to attain more appeal to win the hearts of the populace.

Try and give the inquisitors nightmares, persuading them to stop inquisiting.

Cultists:
130 - Attack the Cult of Carl Yelvin for dragon blood. Retreat if losses are great or if target is attained.
35 - Create and market a line of Nightmare plushies. Plushies make everything appealing.

[3] You try to give them nightmares, but your power can barely reach the mortal plane. It's like trying to build a model ship though a pin hole. You do manage to make them lose a bit of sleep with your efforts though (inquisitors drowsy).
Cultists:
[2] They notice those terrifying machine monsters standing between them and the cultists and decide not to attack.
[4] They work to put a hundred or so plushies out on the market, and people love the huggable version of you. Now you just need to convince your cultists to stop keeping them all for themselves.

Inquisitors: Collect light sources
[6] They collect dozens of lamps, flashlights, lanterns, and torches to illuminate their path. Some people leave the inquisition to avoid having to pay the bill for all this stuff (-20 inquisitors).

Recruit more people.
Cultists: Find the Orb of Stalwart.

[6] You find people with weak psyches that you can exploit, but some of their friends are less than pleased (+50 cultists, +25 inquisitors)
[2] They can't find it, but it was so cleverly hidden that nobody would find it, don't you worry!

Inquisitors:
mad - kill cultists
[1] They get so excited for murder that they kill each other. Whoops (-10 mad inquisitors)
other: find some defense against this, maybe psych help or something
[1] They believe tin foil hats will protect them from you. They are wrong. They also look silly, so nobody will want to work with them (inquisitors look silly).

These thrice damned wastes of oxygen humans call "inquisitors" just keep coming. Enough games! The world shall know my name!

And they will fear it!

Me: Convince everyone the treatments lead to autism Start plaguing the inquisitors again!
Cultists: If we have the orb of stalwart, START SUMMONING GO GO GO
If retcon happens;
15 plagued cultists: find the orb of stalwart again!
Rest of you blokes: Recruit more!

You:
[3] You convince some of the nuttier people that antibiotics are the work of the devil, but most love their medicine too much to give it up (some will refuse treatment now).
cultists:
[6] They successfully summon you, as well as someone else:

Spoiler: Jeff (click to show/hide)

Jeff, the diseased lung in a cowboy hat.
Abilities:
-Those around him can lose turns coughing and hacking their lungs out
-Dies of Emphysema ten turns after being summoned
-his stylish cowboy hat encourages people near him to join him as cultists (even if they're already cultists to somebody else)
-On every turn he takes an extra roll to decide whether he can do anything. If he fails he just hangs around your cultists and coughs up smoke.
Appearance: a human lung the size of an adult human, with black spots on its exterior and a stylish cowboy hat
Homeworld: an Earthlike world where smoking is commonplace and tobacco fumes fill the air constantly. Sapient body parts are also common there, but them reaching Jeff's size is still rather rare
Stats:
Presence: 3
Mindlock: 0
Power: 0
Physique: 0
Appeal: 2
((Jeff is a special horror, in that he is only temporary and is actually a hindrance on the side that has him... also, I stole the idea for him from John Oliver))

(Summoned both Plauge doctor and Jeff the diseased lung in a cowboy hat (10))

Inquisitors: Find a vaccine
[4] They find a decent way to reliably vaccinate people against the plague to prevent getting infected with it, and make reports of their success to the scientific and medical communities. Now they just need to figure out a way to actually get people to take the damned thing with that stupid rumor going around (plague vaccine found).