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[FallacyofUrist]

Ahem.
Me: Attack the carp cult with lightning bolts!
100 cultists: Get that orb at my fortress door inside! (( I assume the orb is at the door, after all if it wasn't there then they wouldn't be trying to open the door.)) In the event the orb is not at the door, get the orb into my fortress.
80 cultists: Gather dragon's blood. Under no circumstances should you drink it.
50 cultists: Research banishment rituals that can be used to banish summoned horrors back to where they came from.
5 wealthy cultists: Fund the research of banishment rituals, you don't have to do the research yourself.
5 other wealthy cultists: Recruit some politicians to join my cult.
Journalist hires: Assault the carp thing some more on ihatecarp.com!
2 veterans: Make sure my cultists gathering dragon's blood don't drink it.


"Soon I shall be summoned!"

So... turn 7 action? Also, summoning a different horror... that's a brilliantly mad idea.

[wipeout1024]

Improve PR.
Cultists: Search for the artifacts.

[Aslandus]

aslandus could you control DF carp as you would control gort lucius or paul he doesn't really follow what I want so I don't think i should control him and can i still command my follows even if it's not in DF carp best intrest but in carp's best intrest? like how people can still control their followers after they die?

I mean, he's still you, so you could command him if you want as long as you follow his new agenda. I could control your horror himself though if you think it would be more thematically appropriate

he doesn't follow anything I want but can i still control my cultist's as I asked?

You can control yourself and your cultists as usual, nothing's really changed aside from the things you can do as carpmaster extraordinaire. But if you want to play it as if that you've been overtaken by some kind of madness that causes you to act completely differently (or causes me to decide what you do), then that's fine too.

[carp]

aslandus could you control DF carp as you would control gort lucius or paul he doesn't really follow what I want so I don't think i should control him and can i still command my follows even if it's not in DF carp best intrest but in carp's best intrest? like how people can still control their followers after they die?

I mean, he's still you, so you could command him if you want as long as you follow his new agenda. I could control your horror himself though if you think it would be more thematically appropriate

he doesn't follow anything I want but can i still control my cultist's as I asked?

You can control yourself and your cultists as usual, nothing's really changed aside from the things you can do as carpmaster extraordinaire. But if you want to play it as if that you've been overtaken by some kind of madness that causes you to act completely differently (or causes me to decide what you do), then that's fine too.

hmmmmm soooooooooo yes... i will use that AHEM yes maaadness... deeefinetly not anything else.












p.s. just noticed you said "planet of infinite carp" but it's actually the "plane of infinite carp" it is in fact a universe filled with carp and nothing but that. also they manage to survive read the link i have in my character sheet.

[carp]

turn 7 for DF carp (i will now post DF carp actions seperatly from cultist actions and my consciousness's remmnants actions)
ME: promise people a world free of alcoholic's (don't mention that i will do this by killing them and I will also get rid of anyone witth beards midgets or anybody that has ever drunk beer and enjoyed it) use this to recruit.
 kill that old carp's culCARP CARP CAAAAAARP CAAAAR-AARP* GET OUT OF THIS DAMN BODY!!!! but i guess i'll have to wait until next turn.





*roughly translated as "NOOOOO MY JESTER CULTIST'S also stop breaking the fourth wall"

[FallacyofUrist]

((It might be hard to do that when people keep reading those wonderful articles on ihatecarp.com. Enjoy the bad PR.))

[Aslandus]

p.s. just noticed you said "planet of infinite carp" but it's actually the "plane of infinite carp" it is in fact a universe filled with carp and nothing but that. also they manage to survive read the link i have in my character sheet.

If I don't have time to do a full turn in one sitting, what makes you think I have time to read an entire article about a place I don't really care about?
You want me to read it, sum it up in four sentences or less.

[Aslandus]

turn 7
a third of my cultist's:get away from the rest and TURN ME BACK you will be dubbed cultist`s of the carp plane until I can be turned back do not follow me except for this command until I am turned back you have the jester cultists
a third of my cultist's:get away from the rest and TURN ME BACK you will be dubbed cultist`s of the holy glub until I can be turned back do not follow me except for this command until I am turned back
a third of my cultist's:get away from the rest and TURN ME BACK you will be dubbed cultist`s of the final carp until I can be turned backdo not follow me except for this command until I am turned back  you will be my chosen when I get summoned

the final remnants of my former self: carry out these commands, realize that ihatecarp.com shouldn`t work because normal people should think I`m a cod, call out to all horrors to turn me back this monsters only goal is to kill i wish to rule however this monster is now me please turn me back.
Rabe: take control if necessary, to turn me back

Let's split up, gang!: [5] They split into three groups and start independent journeys to find a cure for your ills. The Carp plane chooses to focus on getting you summoned, and possibly ushering in the carp-ocalypse. The holy glub is aiming to learn rituals to set you back to your previous glory. The final carp plans to find ways to strengthen you so you won't be annihilated upon arrival. Whether they will stay cooperative or start fighting each other over how to carry out serving you remains to be seen. (3 carp factions created)

Revelations: [1] You come to the realization that this is actually totally working because they hate you for what you DO, not what you ARE. You also fail to carry out your own commands so your cultists have no idea what your orders were past the "CHANGE ME BACK!" you yelled as the fragments of your psyche disappeared into your new form. The other horrors didn't hear anything about changing you, just the words "KILL... ME..." (Going crazy)

Bossing around your brother: [5] You send the order to Rabe designating him as the heir to your empire should you die. He appreciates the gesture, I'm sure. (Rabe now second in command of carp's minions)

Inquisitors: Recruit while we have the chance
[3] They manage to bring a few more brave souls into their task force. They've got a challenge ahead of them, they'd best steel themselves. (+17 inquisitors)

turn 7 for DF carp (i will now post DF carp actions seperatly from cultist actions and my consciousness's remmnants actions)
ME: promise people a world free of alcoholic's (don't mention that i will do this by killing them and I will also get rid of anyone witth beards midgets or anybody that has ever drunk beer and enjoyed it) use this to recruit.
 kill that old carp's culCARP CARP CAAAAAARP CAAAAR-AARP* GET OUT OF THIS DAMN BODY!!!! but i guess i'll have to wait until next turn.

*roughly translated as "NOOOOO MY JESTER CULTIST'S also stop breaking the fourth wall"

It would be far more convenient to have all the actions piled into one post but whatever. Also, you should really only get one action since you are still ONE horror, but since the other one was basically just you thinking I'll let it slide. Just this once.

Recruit: [5] Yeah! Forget all those old scrubs, we got places to go and people to beat... I mean meet. You recruit a bunch of new, much cooler cultists with your promises of murdering people that aren't them. It's the best offer they've had in the past month, they'll take it! (+100 cultists).

Turn 7 actions:
162 cultists and 80 empowered cultists: locate and secure Orb of Stalwart. Preferably by moving it to the base.
100 cultists: continue construction and fortification of the base. Preferably the actual base itself.
Koshu and 350 cultists: recruit.

ORB: [3] They find an orb, but don't manage to get it into the base. Given their vast numbers, it's amazing that absolutely all of them failed to bring the keys to the base. (found Orb of Stalwart 4)
Build that wall: [3] They rivet a bunch of metal panels to the sides of the shoddy shack. Well, it might be stronger now. (shoddy shack now upgraded to "Tool shed" durability)
MOAR CULTISTS! ALL THE CULTISTS!: [1] Oh dear, those guys don't look friendly at all... (+205 inquisitors) ((Perhaps you should do something about that before someone activates them))

Turn 7:
All cultists without cancer: recruit.
Cancer victims: Summon me, and I will cure you.

recruit: [1] Maybe they should've left the part about giving your followers cancer out... (+122 inquisitors)
teh summons: [2] They suddenly get wracked with pain in their guts. Must've been something they ate. They can't pull themselves together enough for the ritual unfortunately.
healing (I assume): [3] You manage to help them recover from their gut-rot and drive back the growth of their cancer a bit, but they are still afflicted by it.

((Why do I get the feeling inquisitors are going to be VERY important in this game?))

TROG: Recruit more Anarchist Cultists!
Gort the Ancient: Guard The Summoners and Mummify anybody who attacks them!
Any Mummies that appear: Spread the Aging Curse on TROG'S Inquisitors!
50 Anarchist Cultists: SUMMON TROG!
25 Anarchist Cultists: Fix TROG'S Reputation, NOW!


"BAH, I'M VERY FRUSTRATED, BUT ME CAN'T REALLY BLAME ANTHAJU FOR ATTACKING MY CULT, AFTER ALL, WE'RE A BUNCH OF MADMEN DEDICATED TO DESTROYING CIVILIZATION AND I HAVE A PHYSIQUE OF 3. I WOULDN'T WANNA MESS WITH THAT, TO BE HONEST. BUT ME STILL SMASH ANTHAJU ONCE ME ESCAPE!"

recruit: [3] You find a few more anarchic psychos to join your quest (+25 anarchist cultists)
guard: [3] He stands guard and watches over them... sort of... at least he's in their vicinity so he can react if they get attacked... (GORT guarding summoners)
AURA: [3] His malignant aura ages the summoning cultists a few decades in a matter of hours. They still have a few years left in them, but I would look into finding replacements soon. (50 cultists now late middle aged)
summon: [5] They bring you forth through the rift. Seems you found a friend too, the portal is open just long enough that you get to decide whether to keep him or leave him behind, but do so before next turn or you'll be stuck with him regardless (summoned, plus this guy if you choose to keep him)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: KONG
abilities:
-Has a punch capable of splitting a planet in two
-Wild animal: won't do anything but eat and fight, and he isn't picky about targets

Appearance: A huge ape with bulging muscles.

Homeworld: A lush jungle in a wild world, he (you think it's a he at least) is the biggest of the beasts and got all he wanted in his old world. He expects the same accommodations here, so if you can't provide his next meal, be prepared to become it.

skills:
-presence: 0
-mindlock: 0
-power: 0
-physique: 5
-appeal: 0

PR: [6] They boast of your power and the support you get from the outer world. It turns out that broadcasting all that was a less than optimal strategy for staying subtle. Some people actually respect the balls it took for that apparently, but they still generally think you're a weirdo. (PR now moderately bad, inquisitors activated)

((I'll get the last two tomorrow, that's too many actions for me to conquer right now))

[Adragis]

the bloody inquisitors

[InsaneRationalist]

ORB: [3] They find an orb, but don't manage to get it into the base. Given their vast numbers, it's amazing that absolutely all of them failed to bring the keys to the base. (found Orb of Stalwart 4)

To clairify: the orb is at our base, just not indoors yet, correct? That is, it is within the fortified outer walls?

Build that wall: [3] They rivet a bunch of metal panels to the sides of the shoddy shack. Well, it might be stronger now. (shoddy shack now upgraded to "Tool shed" durability)

Good work.

MOAR CULTISTS! ALL THE CULTISTS!: [1] Oh dear, those guys don't look friendly at all... (+205 inquisitors) ((Perhaps you should do something about that before someone activates them))

((Question, can I use Telepathy to mind-edit my inquisitors into being loyal to me? (Assuming adequate rolls that is.) That was originally supposed be a explicit effect/side-effect, but you had already quoted the character sheet by the time I realized it was basically completely unclear from the description, and I would rather not waste a turn trying to do something Koshu has (retroactively? -ish?) never been able to do.))

[Sl4cker]

Anthaju(uninjured): summoned, 175 cultists, 75 armed trained cultists, 75 assassin cultists (in jail), has a pyramid with a shoddy shack on top for a base, access to Orb of Stalwart 1, has dragon blood, allies with Rabe via diplomatic power, has weighed Unescargot, can get poison easily, 5 slow strong mummy inquisitors

Well, it seems some of us here are getting ready to be summoned. Except I WON'T LET YOU.
125 cultists: Activate Koshu's inquisitors by making it look like a giant meteor falling to earth!
50 cultists: Activate Smiley or whatever her name is' inquisitors!
Murder party IV: Raid Koshu's base! Destroy their orb and steal their dragon blood! Kill anyone who gets in the way.
Assassins minus 25: Poison Trog's guys!
25 Assassins: Disguise yourselves and sell some of the poison in the black market!
Me: Weigh the soul of the Trog!

[Evonix]

Either:
1. I find out if you can summon someone whos in the same dimension but if I can't(Shouldn't it be easier?)
2. I change the target to the tavern wrench.

[carp]

((It might be hard to do that when people keep reading those wonderful articles on ihatecarp.com. Enjoy the bad PR.))

DEFINETLY a cod

[carp]

p.s. just noticed you said "planet of infinite carp" but it's actually the "plane of infinite carp" it is in fact a universe filled with carp and nothing but that. also they manage to survive read the link i have in my character sheet.

If I don't have time to do a full turn in one sitting, what makes you think I have time to read an entire article about a place I don't really care about?
You want me to read it, sum it up in four sentences or less.

the plane of infinite kittens carp : an infinite plane of carp it is literally a universe made of carp when carp are in the pile they arent effected by pressure or needing to breathe hunger and the such when removed from the pile they are for all intents and purposes normal (need to breathe can get crushed can get hungry) but as we all know in an infinite universe pile of carp anything can and will happen as long as it is a carp eldritch carp are about the rarest carp in this plane only about one every 100000000000000000000000 light-years and in the farthest reaches relative to anything (the plane of infinite carp is weird they can only get places if they want to) are massive colony's of DF carp

p.s.  i think my carp making powers work by swapping something with the plane of infinte carp however it doesn't work on me.

[Evonix]

I think you just can't target it carpside.