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[Aslandus]

Archon, with life advice from disaster averter, leader, and war leader (hey, it is an attack) 1: Terraform Mooney into a pit full of lava. And his rocket fuel. Got to wonder what happens when that catches fire alongside the most annoying horror on Earth.

Warband, led from afar by leader, disaster averter, and war leader 2: Finish off Quarken's cult.

3 hecklers: Partake in the ritual of sense and realize leaders are just trying to help you survive.

2 cultists: Become necromancers via the necronomicon.

Beldroth: Put our spearmints in a few bottles with your slobber. Those are significantly more useful as poison.

((But it's not COMBAT, so the battle commander doesn't help, assuming they're needed to begin with))
Create volcano: [3-4 > 4] You create a small volcanic event directly under Mooney, burning the moon thing to cinders as well as destroying it's rocket fuel. Probably a good plan, given what the bastard's been doing so far. (Mooney is dead)
Attack: [6 >reroll: 2] The warband is about to charge recklessly into battle, but the commander tells them to wait it out, saving probable losses against a cult that's about to disband anyway.
Sensetize: [2] What is this "sense" and "reason"? Are you saying shouting at authority figures isn't the way to get what we want? Blasphemy!
Necromancing: [4] They look into the secrets of life and death and discover the truths of the underworld. They look a little off kilter, but they're still able enough. (2 cultists become necromancers)
Poison: [3] The potent smell of the saliva is readily apparent even with the strong flavor of spearmint. (obviously poisoned spearmints created)

[Aslandus]

Quarken's cult disbands due to their patron dying.

End of turn 18.
Big Ol' Fire (uninjured):
cult: 850 cultists, 100 fanatics, 350 martial arts masters, 400 ecologists, 50 chosen martial arts masters, 25 wealthy cultists
items: dragon blood, Orb of Stalwart 2
Base (Apartments): abandoned neighborhood (half destroyed), somewhat clean
Diplomacy: "friend of humanity" PR (Has humanity's aid), offering martial arts training (increases PR), owed a favor by Speedo
inquisitors(ACTIVE): 150 eco inquisitors, 25 wealthy inquisitors, 725 inquisitors, death rays [kills user and target, double damage]

Volker-hands:
cult: 535 cultists, 200 cultists blinded for [2] turns, 150 bored cultists, 50 injured cultists, 100 marksmen (guarding, infiltration possible)
items: dragon blood, glass, firearms, quicksilver, silver, fake Orb of Stalwart
Rituals: Create Fake orb of Stalwart [req glass, silver; use causes weakness], Rain of Fire [consumes gasoline], Ritual of STRENGTH [consumes protein], ritual of invisibility [req quicksilver and sand], Orb creation ritual [consumes crystal orb and horror corpse]
Base (sturdy fortress): pitual/wishing pit
Diplomacy: mixed PR
inquisitors: 115 inquisitors
-Val'Krete (uninjured): -1 power for [1] turn

Arcing Mist-elf:
cult (High morale): 96 cultists, 3 hecklers (negate leadership bonuses), 2 necromancers, 2 espers, 390 beasts, 100 large beasts, 20 satyrs, 15 minotaurs, 20 centaurs, 5 centaur scouts, 5 battle commanders (50% chance to reroll negative outcomes in combat they initiate), 2 leaders (50% chance of turning 3 into 4), 2 disaster averters (50% chance of turning 1 into 2)
Items: dragonblood, Necronomicon, Improvised melee weapons, 25 Daragon fruit, aspirin, obviously poisoned spearmints
Rituals: Summon mini-horror [req dragon blood], create Summoning Shell [req Zinc, wood; single use], Imbue knowledge [consumes Daragon's fruit],  Stalwart burning summon [consumes Orb of Stalwart, gives summoned crippling weakness], brew power potion [consumes dragon blood, damages user], Cure Psishock [req aspirin], Ritual of Sending [no cost], Ritual of sense [no cost]
Diplomacy: good PR, Allies with Happy
Base (pit):
inquisitors: 100 beasts
-Sharkon (uninjured): Submerged
-Beldroth (uninjured): Adult (+1 physique, +1 power)
-Some scrub fish (lightly injured): submerged
-Warband: 50 beasts, 10 satyrs, 10 minotaurs, attacking Quarken, allied with Quacken and Quarken's inquisitors

Hon Shadow (uninjured):
Additional powers: shadow teleport
cult: 115 skilled engineers, support of Pope, cult in Washington DC
Items: dragonblood, cotton, rebar, concrete
Base (Sturdy fortress): Stick fence, Too many residences (minor beast infestation)
Diplomacy: "friend of humanity" PR (humanity's aid gained), support of president, support of Virginia and Florida
inquisitors (ACTIVE): 25 inquisitors, 10 catholic inquisitors
-Unlight: Let the light guide you!
-Pope: popular

Speedy Speedoman (uninjured):
cult:422 cultists, 50 cultists (guarding), 25 marksmen, 44 happy chaos magi, 5 skilled leaders (50% chance of 3 becoming 4, 1-4 have 50% chance of rerolling negative outcomes on combat)
Items: partially gathered dragonblood, Orb of Stalwart 5 (GUARDED), firearms (explosive ammo), rough armor
Rituals: Create Healing Brew (req dragonblood)
Base (generic building): Punji pits and barbed wire defenses, strong community, housing
Diplomacy: mixed PR, allowing others to use Orb of Stalwart (improves PR when used), owe BOF and Zomboss a favor, friends with Mooney
inquisitors: 50 inquisitors
-Leader #1: Paranoid (50% chance of turning 5 into 6 on guard)
-Leader #2 (m): passively restores morale, marksman
-Leader #4 (f): marksman
-Mr. Banana hammock: 50 cultists

Zomboss with really long name (lightly injured): HUNGOVER FOR [1] TURN
cult (high morale): 180 cultists, 10 distillers, 10 brewmasters (can serve booze to increase cultist strength), 25 hillbillies (can brew high-alcohol moonshine), 100 master brawlers, 50 priests, 200 zombies, 25 summoner hillbillies (can brew high-alcohol moonshine, can summon materials), 75 homeless
Items: Stagnant orb, improvised melee weapons, plentiful moonshine, partially gathered dragonblood
Rituals: Salmoning ritual [req stagnant orb and dragon blood], Exploding brew [req alcohol]
Base (Grand Mausoleum): bunker, bar (now with better taste), still, grand greenhouse
Diplomacy: good PR, friendly with BOF and Speedo, owed a favor by Speedo
inquisitors: 25 eco inquisitors, 90 inquisitors, 25 homeless inquisitors

---- NPC factions
Jail (hungover):  Leader #5: restricted from actions, lazy, loves casual games, good at Mario kart [Speedo]

World details:
-Orb of Stalwarts 1 and 3 destroyed

[DAPARROT]

50 injured cultists(if they are actually still on break use regular cultists instead)+ Val'Krete summon me, have Val'krete supervise them to make sure that they don't mess it up
150 bored cultists: find something to do, get something for everyone
Vol-Kriit+535 cultists+200 blind cultists: recruit

[Aslandus]

50 injured cultists(if they are actually still on break use regular cultists instead)+ Val'Krete summon me, have Val'krete supervise them to make sure that they don't mess it up
150 bored cultists: find something to do, get something for everyone
Vol-Kriit+535 cultists+200 blind cultists: recruit

Summon: [6] Val'krete makes sure to correct the coordinates this time and you finally get summoned. Unfortunately, it appears the guy who got you and Val'krete banished was summoned too. (summoned, summoned The Lawyer)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: The Lawyer
Abilities:
Binding arbitration: The deals you made in the past come back to haunt you in the form of chains that hold you in place and prevent you from moving.
Cease and Desist: Can counter actions against him by taking the offender to court. (not necessarily a thing he does, mostly just flavor)
Contractual obligations: can ruin existing diplomatic relations by forcing issues between the members

Appearance: A six foot tall frog wearing a tie that walks on its hind legs. It's eyes glow green.
Homeworld: He has worked long hours to banish all the giant, floating hands from his world. He was not quite done, but now he's here and about to face judgement for the torment he's inflicted.

Skills:
Presence: 0
Mindlock: 2
Power: 1
Physique: 0
Appeal: 0

Do a thing: [2] They do a thing, but then a thing happens that undoes the thing so it really doesn't matter anymore.
Recruit: [4] You and your cultists get more people to join. It's a good thing too, you may be distracted for a bit with this lawyer messing with you. (+810 cultists)

[LordBrassroast]

Hondrasaan: Implode the Inquisitors' lungs.
Cult: Take cover in the new fort in case any survive. Find things lying around that you can use as weapons.

[Aslandus]

Hondrasaan: Implode the Inquisitors' lungs.
Cult: Take cover in the new fort in case any survive. Find things lying around that you can use as weapons.

MURDER: [4] You kill all of the inquisitors with ease by shutting off their ability to breathe. Needless to say, you caught them breathless. (-25 inquisitors, -10 catholic inquisitors)
COWER: [4] They take cover in the base, temporarily reducing casualties if any are taken. They grab a few pieces of rebar to defend themselves, but it's too short and too unwieldy to make a good weapon. (cult has taken cover)

Inquisitors: do a thing
[irrelevant] They can't do a thing due to their recent case of death. (inquisitors deactivated)

[Aslandus]

Looks like a few of our players are taking a break this week, but I plan to move the turn forward on time regardless

[Whisperling]

Archon: Mind-control beasts.
Necromancers: Become liches.
3 Beasts: Search for an orb of storms.
Warband, led by leader and disaster averter 1: Loot Quarken's stuff.
3 Hecklers: Work on self-control.

[Aslandus]

Archon: Mind-control beasts.
Necromancers: Become liches.
3 Beasts: Search for an orb of storms.
Warband, led by leader and disaster averter 1: Loot Quarken's stuff.
3 Hecklers: Work on self-control.

Beasts: [3] You mind control a bunch of beasts. Actually, not "a bunch" so much as "a few". (+100 beasts)
Lichify: [2] They are too busy kicking off the arms
Search: [5] They sniff around and smell rain. There is definitely an orb of storms in the area. (discovered orb of storms)
Loot: [2] They would, but Quarken's base was buried when all the runes he placed at the entrance exploded and buried the whole place.
Self control: [2] They don't want to.

Boredom: take hold
[5] The numbers of followers you keeping leaving with nothing to do, coupled with the massive overwork being placed on a very few is wearing heavily on morale, they demand the labor be spread more evenly, or at least they be given some sort of entertainment during the down time, or they are threatening to quit. (Boredom weighing on faction, morale down)

[Aslandus]

End of turn 19.
Big Ol' Fire (uninjured): Zzzzzzzz
cult: 850 cultists, 100 fanatics, 350 martial arts masters, 400 ecologists, 50 chosen martial arts masters, 25 wealthy cultists
items: dragon blood, Orb of Stalwart 2
Base (Apartments): abandoned neighborhood (half destroyed), somewhat clean
Diplomacy: "friend of humanity" PR (Has humanity's aid), offering martial arts training (increases PR), owed a favor by Speedo
inquisitors(ACTIVE): 150 eco inquisitors, 25 wealthy inquisitors, 725 inquisitors, death rays [kills user and target, double damage]

Volker-hands (uninjured): -1 physique for [2] turns
cult: 1345 cultists, 200 cultists blinded for [1] turn, 150 bored cultists, 50 injured cultists, 100 marksmen (guarding, infiltration possible)
items: dragon blood, glass, firearms, quicksilver, silver, fake Orb of Stalwart
Rituals: Create Fake orb of Stalwart [req glass, silver; use causes weakness], Rain of Fire [consumes gasoline], Ritual of STRENGTH [consumes protein], ritual of invisibility [req quicksilver and sand], Orb creation ritual [consumes crystal orb and horror corpse]
Base (sturdy fortress): pitual/wishing pit
Diplomacy: mixed PR
inquisitors: 115 inquisitors
-Val'Krete (uninjured): -1 power for [1] turn
+The Lawyer (uninjured): -1 mindlock for [2] turns

Arcing Mist-elf:
cult (Bored): 96 cultists, 3 hecklers (negate leadership bonuses), 2 necromancers, 2 espers, 490 beasts, 100 large beasts, 20 satyrs, 15 minotaurs, 20 centaurs, 5 centaur scouts, 5 battle commanders (50% chance to reroll negative outcomes in combat they initiate), 2 leaders (50% chance of turning 3 into 4), 2 disaster averters (50% chance of turning 1 into 2)
Items: dragonblood, Necronomicon, Improvised melee weapons, 25 Daragon fruit, aspirin, obviously poisoned spearmints, discovered Orb of Storms
Rituals: Summon mini-horror [req dragon blood], create Summoning Shell [req Zinc, wood; single use], Imbue knowledge [consumes Daragon's fruit],  Stalwart burning summon [consumes Orb of Stalwart, gives summoned crippling weakness], brew power potion [consumes dragon blood, damages user], Cure Psishock [req aspirin], Ritual of Sending [no cost], Ritual of sense [no cost]
Diplomacy: good PR, Allies with Happy
Base (pit):
inquisitors: 100 beasts
-Sharkon (uninjured): Submerged
-Beldroth (uninjured): Adult (+1 physique, +1 power)
-Some scrub fish (lightly injured): submerged
-Warband: 50 beasts, 10 satyrs, 10 minotaurs, attacking Quarken, allied with Quacken and Quarken's inquisitors

Hon Shadow (uninjured):
Additional powers: shadow teleport
cult (TAKING COVER): 115 skilled engineers, support of Pope, cult in Washington DC
Items: dragonblood, cotton, rebar, concrete
Base (Sturdy fortress): Stick fence, Too many residences (minor beast infestation)
Diplomacy: "friend of humanity" PR (humanity's aid gained), support of president, support of Virginia and Florida
inquisitors:
-Unlight: Let the light guide you!
-Pope: popular

Speedy Speedoman (uninjured): ZZZZzzzzz
cult:422 cultists, 50 cultists (guarding), 25 marksmen, 44 happy chaos magi, 5 skilled leaders (50% chance of 3 becoming 4, 1-4 have 50% chance of rerolling negative outcomes on combat)
Items: partially gathered dragonblood, Orb of Stalwart 5 (GUARDED), firearms (explosive ammo), rough armor
Rituals: Create Healing Brew (req dragonblood)
Base (generic building): Punji pits and barbed wire defenses, strong community, housing
Diplomacy: mixed PR, allowing others to use Orb of Stalwart (improves PR when used), owe BOF and Zomboss a favor, friends with Mooney
inquisitors: 50 inquisitors
-Leader #1: Paranoid (50% chance of turning 5 into 6 on guard)
-Leader #2 (m): passively restores morale, marksman
-Leader #4 (f): marksman
-Mr. Banana hammock: 50 cultists

Zomboss with really long name (lightly injured): ZZzzzzzzzz
cult (high morale): 180 cultists, 10 distillers, 10 brewmasters (can serve booze to increase cultist strength), 25 hillbillies (can brew high-alcohol moonshine), 100 master brawlers, 50 priests, 200 zombies, 25 summoner hillbillies (can brew high-alcohol moonshine, can summon materials), 75 homeless
Items: Stagnant orb, improvised melee weapons, plentiful moonshine, partially gathered dragonblood
Rituals: Salmoning ritual [req stagnant orb and dragon blood], Exploding brew [req alcohol]
Base (Grand Mausoleum): bunker, bar (now with better taste), still, grand greenhouse
Diplomacy: good PR, friendly with BOF and Speedo, owed a favor by Speedo
inquisitors: 25 eco inquisitors, 90 inquisitors, 25 homeless inquisitors

---- NPC factions
Jail (hungover):  Leader #5: restricted from actions, lazy, loves casual games, good at Mario kart [Speedo]

World details:
-Orb of Stalwarts 1 and 3 destroyed

[DAPARROT]

Vol-Kriit+Val-Krete: kill the lawer
200 blind cultists+ 150 bored cultists: recruit
50 injured cultists: get medical attention,no matter how long it takes
300 cultists: research a ritual that sends everything inside the circle to a different dimension
Everyone else: train with firearms, get more if we don't have enough

[LordBrassroast]

Hondrasaan: Recruit U.S. soliers specifically
Govt. cult: Moar govt. cult.
Pope: Work on recruiting cardinals into the cult. If they refuse, DECLARE THEM EXCOMMUNICATED ON CHARGES OF HERESY.

Engineer Cult: Come out of hiding and call some exterminators. Start building farms and food storage facilities in case of siege.


((So, how does control of the Pope work exactly? Are all the Catholics my cultists now?))

[Aslandus]

Vol-Kriit+Val-Krete: kill the lawer
200 blind cultists+ 150 bored cultists: recruit
50 injured cultists: get medical attention,no matter how long it takes
300 cultists: research a ritual that sends everything inside the circle to a different dimension
Everyone else: train with firearms, get more if we don't have enough

VENGEANCE: [2] You and Valkrete try to crush the Lawyer, but he objects and holds up the turn with a long speech about the nature of justice.
Recruit: [6] They get sympathy points by talking about their injuries, but some people think the cult is up to no good if this is how they treat their own people. (+350 cultists, +350 inquisitors)
Medicine: [6] They wait for a really long time for medicine, and finally get treated. They are stuck in the hospital for the next turn. (Cured of injuries, stuck in Hospital for [1] turn)
Ritual of discarding?: [5] They find exactly that spell. Now you can make all your trash (and people you don't like) go bye-bye. All for the cost of a little chalk to draw the ritual circle. (Discovered ritual of super banishment [req chalk])
train: [6] They train hard, but a few of them weren't paying attention during the safety instructions. (845 cultists become marksmen, -200 cultists)

Lawyer: Binding arbitration
[5] He points out your rocky relationship with humanity and causes you to lose your next action (stunned for [1] turn)

Hondrasaan: Recruit U.S. soliers specifically
Govt. cult: Moar govt. cult.
Pope: Work on recruiting cardinals into the cult. If they refuse, DECLARE THEM EXCOMMUNICATED ON CHARGES OF HERESY.

Engineer Cult: Come out of hiding and call some exterminators. Start building farms and food storage facilities in case of siege.


((So, how does control of the Pope work exactly? Are all the Catholics my cultists now?))

((You would be better off just asking favors of the church than trying to recruit with him, basically cut out the middle man. For example, getting donations of something you need or declaring another player heretical and calling for a crusade against them. The religion as a whole is without number from your perspective, so they're effectively a humanity turn that you can control.))

Recruit: [1] A bunch of people named Solier from the US are really mad at you now. The government workers accidentally alienate some of their fellow governors and the pope excommunicates people. (+25 Solier inquisitors, Animosity of Alaska and Maine gained, +25 catholic inquisitors)
Exterminate: [5] They clear all the beasties out of the base. Some of your cultists seem to have taken beasts as pets. (25 engineers become beastmasters, +25 beasts, base no longer infested)
Build: [1] Dammit, they poisoned their own wells! This is terrible for a siege! (50 engineers now poisoned [2])

Humanity: cure sickness
[1] Ooops, that's the wrong medicine! (sick people now dead)

[DAPARROT]

You guys still here?

[Aslandus]

Whoops, I missed the alarm yesterday for moving the turn... Since so many people are missing their turns, I guess it's down to 3...

Oh the humanity! It's a massacre in the streets! (BOF, Speedo, and Zomboss succumb to laziness, Banana hammock now an NPC)
End of turn 20.
Volker-hands (uninjured): -1 physique for [1] turn, stunned for [1] turn
cult: 850 cultists, 845 marksmen, 150 bored cultists, 50 hospitalized cultists [1], 100 marksmen (guarding, infiltration possible)
items: dragon blood, glass, firearms, quicksilver, silver, fake Orb of Stalwart
Rituals: Create Fake orb of Stalwart [req glass, silver; use causes weakness], Rain of Fire [consumes gasoline], Ritual of STRENGTH [consumes protein], ritual of invisibility [req quicksilver and sand], Orb creation ritual [consumes crystal orb and horror corpse], Ritual of super banishment [req chalk]
Base (sturdy fortress): pitual/wishing pit
Diplomacy: mixed PR
inquisitors: 465 inquisitors
-Val'Krete (uninjured):
+The Lawyer (uninjured): -1 mindlock for [1] turn

Arcing Mist-elf: Zzzzzzzz
cult (Bored): 96 cultists, 3 hecklers (negate leadership bonuses), 2 necromancers, 2 espers, 490 beasts, 100 large beasts, 20 satyrs, 15 minotaurs, 20 centaurs, 5 centaur scouts, 5 battle commanders (50% chance to reroll negative outcomes in combat they initiate), 2 leaders (50% chance of turning 3 into 4), 2 disaster averters (50% chance of turning 1 into 2)
Items: dragonblood, Necronomicon, Improvised melee weapons, 25 Daragon fruit, aspirin, obviously poisoned spearmints, discovered Orb of Storms
Rituals: Summon mini-horror [req dragon blood], create Summoning Shell [req Zinc, wood; single use], Imbue knowledge [consumes Daragon's fruit],  Stalwart burning summon [consumes Orb of Stalwart, gives summoned crippling weakness], brew power potion [consumes dragon blood, damages user], Cure Psishock [req aspirin], Ritual of Sending [no cost], Ritual of sense [no cost]
Diplomacy: good PR, Allies with Happy
Base (pit):
inquisitors: 100 beasts
-Sharkon (uninjured): Submerged
-Beldroth (uninjured): Adult (+1 physique, +1 power)
-Some scrub fish (lightly injured): submerged
-Warband: 50 beasts, 10 satyrs, 10 minotaurs, attacking Quarken, allied with Quacken and Quarken's inquisitors

Hon Shadow (uninjured):
Additional powers: shadow teleport
cult (TAKING COVER): 45 skilled engineers, 25 beastmaster engineers, 25 beasts, support of Pope, cult in Washington DC
Items: dragonblood, cotton, rebar, concrete
Base (Sturdy fortress): Stick fence, Too many residences (minor beast infestation)
Diplomacy: "friend of humanity" PR (humanity's aid gained), support of president, support of Virginia and Florida, animosity of Alaska and Maine
Inquisition: 25 Solier inquisitors, 25 catholics
-Unlight: Let the light guide you!
-Pope: popular

---- NPC factions
Jail: nobody relevant

Mr. Banana hammock (uninjured): 50 cultists

World details:
-Orb of Stalwarts 1 and 3 destroyed