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[LordBrassroast]

Pope: GODDAMMIT I'M THE POPE! LISTEN TO ME WHEN I PROCLAIM SOMEONE IS AN ANGEL!
Cult: LEARN TO BUILD SHIT WITH SOME SLIGHT AMOUNT OF F**KING COMPETENCE!
Govt. Cult: More govt. cult. MAKE SURE TO KEEP IT ON THE DAMN DOWN-LOW THIS TIME!
Hondrasaan: Recruit.

[Aslandus]

Pope: GODDAMMIT I'M THE POPE! LISTEN TO ME WHEN I PROCLAIM SOMEONE IS AN ANGEL!
Cult: LEARN TO BUILD SHIT WITH SOME SLIGHT AMOUNT OF F**KING COMPETENCE!
Govt. Cult: More govt. cult. MAKE SURE TO KEEP IT ON THE DAMN DOWN-LOW THIS TIME!
Hondrasaan: Recruit.

POPIEST POPE TO EVER POPIFY: [3] Everyone loves how the pope is so silly. His sermons are so much fun to listen to, if somewhat hard to understand. (Pope more popular)
LRN BUILD: [5] THEY BECOME THE BEST DAMN BUILDERS YOU'VE EVER SEEN. (cult becomes skilled engineers)
Recruit: [2] Your government guys aren't able to get near anyone they are confident would join you, so they stay quiet. You just fail to find anybody.

Humanity: give building materials
[3] Cotton counts as a building material, right? (acquired cotton)

[Humaan]

Daragon: Grow Roots, so the Vines can drink.
Drones: Travel to a nearby mountain, and start carving a cave out.

Its strange, I swore I made a turn last time. Well, my fault, so I am not complaining.

[Aslandus]

Daragon: Grow Roots, so the Vines can drink.
Drones: Travel to a nearby mountain, and start carving a cave out.

Its strange, I swore I made a turn last time. Well, my fault, so I am not complaining.

Grow: [1] You discover you're even more deprived than you thought. You can't even grow any more until you get some water. Luckily, unlike your seeds you can drag yourself along the ground to find water since you don't have roots and aren't really planted. (severely dehydrated [no growth until rehydrated])
Dig out cave: [1] They get lost travelling so far from their master, some of them return, others don't. (-50 large drones)
Seed1: grow [4] The seed grows leaves, copying your physical form. (seed 1 has leaves)

[Aslandus]

Happy the clown: recruit
[1] His hijinks end up getting on some people's bad side. Apparently hiding razor blades in those cream pies was a bad move. (+25 inquisitors)
Happy's unconverted cult: Have a bake sale!
[1] They give away all their haunted cookies and get nothing in return! (Lose haunted cookies)
Necrochefs: bake zombrownies!
[2] They don't have any ingredients! Curses! They spend the turn at the grocery store instead of in the kitchen.

Grotesque: try to eat some humans
[2] Grotesque is too slow and ends up starving to death. (Grotesque takes damage from hunger, Grotesque dies)

End of turn 14.
Big Ol' Fire (uninjured): (-1 APPEAL FOR [1] TURNS)
cult (drunk [1]): 300 cultists, 100 fanatics, 500 martial arts masters, 400 ecologists, 50 chosen martial arts masters
items: dragon blood, Orb of Stalwart 2
Base (Apartments): abandoned neighborhood
Diplomacy: Savior-esque PR (Has humanity's aid), offering martial arts training (increases PR), owed a favor by Speedo
inquisitors: 700 eco inquisitors, 25 wealthy inquisitors

Volker-hands: Curses, this won't do at all!
cult: 265 cultists, 50 injured cultists, 100 marksmen
items: dragon blood, glass, firearms, quicksilver, silver
Rituals: Create Fake orb of Stalwart [req glass, silver; use causes weakness]
Base (sturdy fortress):
Diplomacy: good PR
inquisitors: 115 inquisitors

Dar Gold (uninjured): [SEVERELY DEHYDRATED - growth effects nullified until fixed, no additional growth until fixed]
Growths: Leaves (reduce hunger passively), fruit-bearing branches
cult: 50 large drones
Items: dragon blood
Rituals: Basic horticulture
Base(clearing): Walls around Seed 1
Diplomacy: excellent PR
inquisitors:
-Seed 1(undamaged): sprawling tendrils, Slight growth, slightly hungry, leaves

Quar-splosion man (uninjured):
cult: 100 scholars, 26 cultists, 1 Leg n dairy scholar (50% chance of turning 2 into 3 on dairy or leg related rolls)
Items: located dragons, Orb of Stalwart 4, dragon blood
Rituals: Popularity ritual (no requirements), Air bubble ritual [req soap]
Diplomacy: excellent PR, BOF no longer open to OoS related negotiations
inquisitors: 51 inquisitors, 50 scholars
+Quaken (uninjured): Has tagged Quarken with 4 damage worth of feathers

Arcing Mist-elf: (PSISHOCK - NO ABILITIES FOR [3] TURNS)
cult (High morale): 100 cultists, 5 hecklers (negate leadership bonuses), 1 mad weak esper, 2 necromancers, 440 beasts, 100 large beasts, 30 satyrs, 25 minotaurs, 20 centaurs, 5 centaur scouts, 5 battle commanders (50% chance to reroll negative outcomes in combat they initiate), 2 leaders (50% chance of turning 3 into 4), 2 disaster averters (50% chance of turning 1 into 2)
Items: dragonblood, Necronomicon, Improvised melee weapons, 25 Daragon fruit, spearmint
Rituals: Summon mini-horror [req dragon blood], create Summoning Shell [req Zinc, wood; single use], Imbue knowledge [consumes Daragon's fruit],  Stalwart burning summon [consumes Orb of Stalwart, gives summoned crippling weakness], brew power potion [consumes dragon blood, damages user], Cure Psishock [req aspirin]
Diplomacy: excellent PR, Allies with Happy
inquisitors: 100 beasts
-Sharkon (uninjured): Submerged
-Beldroth (uninjured): Adult (+1 physique, +1 power)
-Some scrub fish (lightly injured): suffocating

Hon Shadow (uninjured): Yes! Influence!
cult: 115 skilled engineers support of Pope, cult in Washington DC
Items: dragonblood, cotton
Base (Clearing): Stick fence
Diplomacy: Savior-esque PR (humanity's aid gained), support of president, support of Virginia, support of Florida
inquisitors:
-Unlight: Let the light guide you!
-Pope: popular

Speedy Speedoman (uninjured):
cult (drunk [1]): 258 cultists, 50 cultists (guarding) 22 happy chaos magi, 5 skilled leaders (50% chance of 3 becoming 4)
Items: partially gathered dragonblood, Orb of Stalwart 5 (GUARDED), firearms, rough armor, 50 healing potions
Rituals: Create Healing Brew (req dragonblood)
Base (generic building): Punji pits and barbed wire defenses, strong community, housing
Diplomacy: good PR, allowing others to use Orb of Stalwart (improves PR when used), owe BOF and Zomboss a favor, friends with Mooney
inquisitors: 25 inquisitors
-Leader #1: Paranoid (50% chance of turning 5 into 6 on guard)
-Leader #2 (m): passively restores morale
-Leader #4 (f): marksman

-Mr. Banana hammock: 50 cultists

Zomboss with really long name (uninjured):
cult: 100 cultists, 100 drunks, 10 brewmasters (can serve booze to increase cultist strength), 40 distillers, 25 hillbillies (can brew high-alcohol moonshine)
Items: Stagnant orb, improvised melee weapons, dragon blood
Rituals: Salmoning ritual [req stagnant orb and dragon blood]
Base (Grand Mausoleum): bunker, bar (now with better taste), still
Diplomacy: good PR, friendly with BOF and Speedo, owed a favor by Speedo
inquisitors: 25 eco inquisitors
-Mooney the thirsty (uninjured):

---- NPC factions
Jail: 25 hillbillies (can brew high-alcohol moonshine) [Zomboss], Leader #5: lazy, loves casual games [Speedo]

Happy the Clown's legion:
Cult: 150 cultists, 35 necrochefs, 125 mad necrochefs
Diplomacy: Allies with Archon
Items: Necronomnomnomicon
Inquisitors: 50 inquisitors

World details:
-Orb of Stalwarts 1 and 3 destroyed

((At this rate I might have to have NPCs start targeting Archon just to cull some of the variety in his cult so it's easier to read))

[crazyabe]

4 Cultists: Play Go to jail and play monopoly with (Speedo's) Leader #5, We need a "Get out of Jail Free" Card.
96 Cultists: Put Mooney the thirsty into a box and send him down to Russia!
Drunks: It should be easy for you to learn Zui quan, more commonly known as the Drunken fist, So get Learning!
Distillers: Lets try to distill Something Explosive...
I: Recruit Priests, Preferably ones with drinking problems.

[FallacyofUrist]

"... it's just a duck."

26 cultists: carry the duck away. Throw it to Daragon, let him deal with it.
Quarken: inscribe some explosion negating glyphs on yourself.
100 scholars: recruit more scholars to join Quarken's cult.
1 leg n' dairy scholar: Refine your scholarly skills- specialize in healing rituals.

[Aslandus]

4 Cultists: Play Go to jail and play monopoly with (Speedo's) Leader #5, We need a "Get out of Jail Free" Card.
96 Cultists: Put Mooney the thirsty into a box and send him down to Russia!
Drunks: It should be easy for you to learn Zui quan, more commonly known as the Drunken fist, So get Learning!
Distillers: Lets try to distill Something Explosive...
I: Recruit Priests, Preferably ones with drinking problems.

Get outta jail: [2] They miss visiting hours and have to come back next turn.
Goodbye moon: [6] They send off Mooney, but only realize too late that it snuck your booze and dragonblood into the box with it! (Mooney now wild, dragonblood stolen, booze stolen)
Drunken fist: [3] They learn the drunken fist! And by that I mean they learn how to punch things while drunk! (drunks now amateur brawlers)
Make boom: [6] Whatever they brewed up was really powerful. You know because it blew up in their faces. They left behind notes... thought they're a bit charred... (-40 distillers, still destroyed, learned Exploding brew [req alcohol])
Recruit: [4] You recruit a bunch of holy men to help you. Their faith might help... actually, you know it won't but they're familiar with the taste of wine so why not? (+50 priests)

"... it's just a duck."

26 cultists: carry the duck away. Throw it to Daragon, let him deal with it.
Quarken: inscribe some explosion negating glyphs on yourself.
100 scholars: recruit more scholars to join Quarken's cult.
1 leg n' dairy scholar: Refine your scholarly skills- specialize in healing rituals.

Throw duck away: [3] They carry Quacken away from you, but can't bring themselves to feed the poor thing to the mass of gold tentacles. They just leave it outside the base. Except you don't have a base, so they just leave it far enough away that it's not directly on top of you. (Quacken now outside your lack of defenses)
Inscribe: [4] You don't know any explosion-negating glyphs, but you improvise some with your knowledge of glyphery. That won't stop the explosions, but it should make them SURVIVABLE at least... You feel a bit uncomfortable with carving runes into your own flesh, but if it saves your life it's worth it. (explosion damage halved)
Recruit: [1] They try to recruit scholars, but they get mad about being bothered when they're trying to study. (+100 scholarly inquisitors)
Learn: [4] They figure out some of the tricks to healing the eldritch. May you hope they never have to use them. (now healer [50% chance of changing 2 to 3 on healing rolls])

Quacken: detonate planted feathers
[2] Quacken decides not to blow up all the feathers yet, it wants to make sure you'll die from the damage first.

[Whisperling]

2 cultists, 5 beasts: Get some asprin.
1 cultist: Find a ritual to send stuff to me. Namely asprin.
1 Necromancer: Start reviving a bunch of corpses.
1 Esper, with life advice from leader and disaster averter 1: Train.
50 beasts, 10 satyrs, and 10 minotaurs, led from afar by leader, disaster averter, and battle commander 2: Team up with Quacken and Quarkon's inquisitors to destroy both him and his cult.

[DAPARROT]

Vol-Kriit+165 cultists:recruit
100 marksman:guard
50 cultists:make fake orb
100 cultists: research rituals

Not sure why 50 of my cultists are injured,pretty sure they are supposed to be fine

[fillipk]

Me + all my cultists, recruit from my inquisiters

[Aslandus]

2 cultists, 5 beasts: Get some asprin.
1 cultist: Find a ritual to send stuff to me. Namely asprin.
1 Necromancer: Start reviving a bunch of corpses.
1 Esper, with life advice from leader and disaster averter 1: Train.
50 beasts, 10 satyrs, and 10 minotaurs, led from afar by leader, disaster averter, and battle commander 2: Team up with Quacken and Quarkon's inquisitors to destroy both him and his cult.

Aspirin: [4] They buy some aspirin from the store. That was way harder than it should've been. (acquired aspirin)
Sending: [2] He sits and does nothing since he knows you wouldn't expect one person to discover a vital ritual alone.
Raise dead: [1] They try to raise the dead, but end up being dragged to hell instead. Sure hope they don't rise up in a dozen turns or so leading an army of demons. (-1 necromancer)
Train: [1-3] A massive psychic reflux causes the esper's head to explode. Great work there pal, doing the team proud. (-1 esper)
To war!: [5] They rally the inquisitors, pointing them in the right direction and ally with Quacken against the mad marker known as Quarken. (Quarken's inquisitors activated, Allied with Quacken, war declared on Quarken) ((well... you said team up, not attack))

Vol-Kriit+165 cultists:recruit
100 marksman:guard
50 cultists:make fake orb
100 cultists: research rituals

Not sure why 50 of my cultists are injured,pretty sure they are supposed to be fine

They broke their backs carrying silver, check last turn. It wouldn't really matter for most of these actions though, apart from guarding.

Recruit: [6] You and your followers work to bring more people, but your pushiness antagonizes some. (+240 cultists, +190 inquisitors)
Guard: [3] They set up guard schedules, but nobody seems to take it seriously. (guard active, infiltration still possible)
Make orb: [6]  They make the fake orb, putting all your materials into it. They work so hard they demand a scheduled break next turn. (50 cultists on break, Fake orb made)
Research: [4] They find a new ritual. Seems this one rains fire from the sky upon whatever unlucky bastard it's aimed at, using gasoline as a reactant. Hopefully it'll shore up your current lack of offensive power. (discovered Rain of Fire [consumes gasoline])

Me + all my cultists, recruit from my inquisiters

Playing dangerous games I see...
[1] Whoops, you and your cultists revealed themselves to the inquisition and they're bashing in your door. A large group of civilians get caught up in the frenzy! But you're supposed to be a hero, why are they attacking you?!?! (inquisitors activated, +1375 inquisitors)

Humanity: save BOF!
[2] They are too distracted by the current Sportsball tournament to save you.

[Dustan Hache]

chaos mages: do stoopid magic to distract and possibly recruit some of them inquisitors!

Leader 5: use reverse psychology to trick the police into freeing him and the moonshiners.

Me, leader 4, leader 2, and 22 cultists: Go use those healing potions on our former marksmen as a apology. It should help their poor broken backs.

Leader 1 and half of the remaining non guard cultists: work on the PR a bit. Drawing those inquisitors off is going to bring hell on us PR wise I think.
Leader 3 and the other half of remaining non guard cultists: recruit some people casually. You know, ask them "have you let speedos into your life" or something. Hopefully they'll find it funny and join.

[Aslandus]

chaos mages: do stoopid magic to distract and possibly recruit some of them inquisitors!

Leader 5: use reverse psychology to trick the police into freeing him and the moonshiners.

Me, leader 4, leader 2, and 22 cultists: Go use those healing potions on our former marksmen as a apology. It should help their poor broken backs.

Leader 1 and half of the remaining non guard cultists: work on the PR a bit. Drawing those inquisitors off is going to bring hell on us PR wise I think.
Leader 3 and the other half of remaining non guard cultists: recruit some people casually. You know, ask them "have you let speedos into your life" or something. Hopefully they'll find it funny and join.

CHAOS UNLEASHED: [7-Speedo > 3-items > 3-firearms > Success: 3] You tell them to use their magic on the inquisitors. They target your guns instead. The guns now fire exploding bullets. Well, it's an improvement. (firearms now use explosive ammo)
Freedom: [2] In trying to convince the police to let them go, Leader 5 accomplishes nothing. On the other hand, they have won two hands of blackjack.
Heal: [1] Oh no! They got the dosages wrong and the marksmen are dead now! Everyone feels super bad about it. (-50 health potions)
PR: [6] They make you look good and bad at the same time. (PR up, PR down)
Recruit: [5] Everyone wants Speedos in their life! (+236 cultists)

[Dustan Hache]

wait, WHY DO I HAVE COTTON!?