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[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

So hey y'all there imma just gonna be picking *hurk*
Eugh, sorry about that, couldn't keep up with that horrible grammar there, anyway, like I was saying, I decided as of now to pick up GGamers MGS1 playthrough and run with it like the bloody gingerbread-man, because of certain personal reasons (read: already played through the sections GG has covered) I'll just give you his thread Here so I don't have to do any more work than I need to! brilliant, right?
Let's start, from the cyborg niiiinja, or right after that electrical box thing.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Jesus Snake really goes badly with that electric floor if you step on it, doesn't he? He's all like 'BZZZGHHGHAGGGGHHBLURGLEBURRR*', gets charcoaled, and falls down onto the non electrified floor with a loud *thump*, he's taken way worse than that and hasn't given that reaction.

Well, he died from way worse but whatever.
Oh hey cool still more toxic gas that's nice, you'd think that would lower property value a bit what with the high voltage electric floor there already but s'all good.

Oh hey cool gas mask sure do hope I encounter more poison has soon because of my previous trauma of using chaff grenades, these things were like gold in the other games, you know.

Right so skipped and skipped along there after a bit of trouble and encountered...
THE HALLWAY.
*Duh duh DUHHHHHH.
Jesus, is that a crumple mark on the end of the L-bend in the hallway? Bitches or cyborg ninjas be cray cray.

Ohhhh Jesus mate must suck to be beaten into dirt by a GHOST! Glad I'm not you, looser.
Oh wait, not ghost, super powered cyborg, still, you suck.

Umm okay dude just hang on for a bit before I blindly follow you, I think one dude is still breathing, just lemme insult him some more.

Okay done, that's nice, needed to let off a little steam back there after that IR hallway incident.

Wow scientist man you really give up quick, don't you? I mean, that was a pretty quick bladder release, is that action kinda akin to a octopus squirting ink to you?

Oh okay, no obstacles? Because I'm pretty sure at scientist dude is one, I can never have my full attention on something when I see a dude pissing or just recently having pissed his pants.
Oh okay then, cool sword I guess C4!

Shit, just did a ninja backflip and caught me by suprise, okay then, claymore?
Oh, apparently that won't work either, through virtue of instant flicking transmission, I guess.

I'm assuming guns won't work either, by the same token that you assume using a scalpel won't work with breaking a rock when you just tried an axe which also didn't work, must have been a bloody tough rock for an axe not to work on reflection.
I'm going to need lessons in metaphoring soon, I suck at that.

Okay then, fists work? I guess it's some honour thing, considering he just put away his sword and went to fists.
Ow ow ow okay, chalk up one death, I learnt the basics of his one and only move, flying roundhouse.
Ah ha ha! Gotcha now! You thought you could throw me off by having that one kick right at the end of the animation that adds like a quarter more length in the attack but I saw through that after 5 or so flying kicks to the stomach!

Okay, I had just gotten to the invisiblessed stage before I died, good thing about these IR goggles, hey?
Oh hey cool he takes his sword back out if you try to shoot him, oh well, surprise counter surprise attack time!

Oh jeez dude I didn't know you were a Masochist or something, this really puts a new spin on this.
Do you do this to every person who comes along or is this just about me because I don't know which one is worse.
(Yes I do know he's deep throat also ewww that name.)
Oh hey dude cool, imitation jutsu, no that's fair, oh and now you start talking about how cool that punch is alright fine.

Oh okay, apparently this is just about me okay then.
Come on, come on, sliver of health...
OH COME ON NOW HE JUST TELEPORTED ONCE! I should have expected that.
Okay, chalk that up to two.

Huh just noticed you actually are more powerful without that sword.
Oh right forgot to mention his only other offensive move, goomba stomp.
Oh goddamit that hitbox.

Oh screw those invincibility frames when he does that backflip, that means I gotta be like pinpoint precise in order to hit him.
Wow that invisibility phase is really easy once you figure out the magic of thermal goggles.
OH SCREW YOU NINJUSTSU MAGIC.
Right, up to 3.
Wow, largest kill count a boss has ever had on me, in MGS, of course.
4, that little asshole and his bastard straight.
Oh, and now a ninja bitchslap right after the ninja flying kick? I never got that before!

Okay, this movement is really getting to me, that IR hallway was already grating on me, but now I can't react fast enough to get a punch up on him, any advice?
*Totally perfect audio recreation of the scene.

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

New episode!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh yhea, Oh yhea, that's how we do it downtown you invisible idiot!
Oh okay electric cyborg forcefield and what the hell?

Okay? Dude died in Zanzibar, and he was revived as a cyborg dude?
Oooookay?
Oh wait no he's a zombie.
Ohhhh forced drugging and torture now it's getting dark.

Wow snake, just a straight period on the end of that one, 'No, but that's what he might want.'

Oh hey Al Emerich, imma just going to call you urinating octopus from now on, okay?

Okay urinating octopus here is giving me some exposition now, oh, rail gun? Niiiice.
Wait, he thought this was designed to shoot down missiles, why would it ever need to be mobile, or have rail guns, did he ever think about that or was he just really naive?

Probably naive.
Yup, totally naive.

Okay? That's an odd coinkydink, he isn't kidding about him having nuclear weapons written in his DNA.
Not a strong bladder though NO UNRINATING OCTOPUS I am NOT gonna let go of that!

Blow up a dinosaur I am up for that awww, just the robot? Still cool, oh hey stealth camouflage so that makes sense for the second word in urinating octopus.

Oh everyone is up with Meryl's ass hey?

Oh nice method of brushing off asking if he was getting a heart attack snake, just going 'oh errr nothing I'm just super glad you're okay hahahahaa'

Oh god OTAKU CONVENTION MENTIONED EVERY GET OUT, GET OUT!
Oh, that's where Otacon comes from? My memories will never be the same.

Aww, apparently pushing the PS button skips a cutscene, I'll need to remember that later.

Wow this gas filled office is just chock full of explosives, isn't it?

Dammit I just realised whenever I get a card level upgrade I'm going to need to double check all the rooms, aren't I?
This is the el-ev-ator song, I can sing it-all-day long, badda ba dada da dada daa dada daaaaaaaaa

Okay, skip skip skiiip.
Right, at the nuke storage area B1 and I thought that you were supposed to find Meryl by going into the women's bathroom but that really is quite disgusting now that I think about it.

Huh well who knew the pixelisation effect goes through walls.

Some full on real talk with Meryl.
Jeez, she really is disillusioned.

Oh god snake please stop you are rubbing my morals along sandpaper here.

On a related note It was super cool when she spotted me and I was like 'OH SHIT' and she just ran off and I was like 'oh cool'.
Jesus Meryl how naive are you about becoming a soldier?
Well, you aren't so naive now.

Snake, slow down there asshole.

Damn I wanted that desert eagle, well, I didn't want it anyway, I'll just keep my SOCOM then!
How does she keep that haircut?

Oh oh oh Mantis is commin up.
How the hell is Meryl still staring at me through like a foot of wall?

You know, I really like that Cardboard box transportation method MGS1 and 3 has, presumably 2 as well.

Here we go shit is gonna go down!
Yhea on Meryl you aren't fooling anyone there.

Oh that's good with the first person mode here.
Should I punch her? I feel I should punch her to get it over with.

Oh hey the music is back.
Uhh, side note Mei, I don't think it would help anyone's conscience going with figuring out how successful a bombing run was rather than doing the bombing run yourself.

I mean, both are going to weigh a bit on the old conscience there.
Okey doeky, knocked out Meryl before the fight and ready to begin.

Oh and she just woke up and followed me in.
Great.

Boss fight coming up!

[ggamer]

I'M NOT EVEN

I'M NOT EVEN

actually yeah i'm ok with this

good luck in your lp man I'm not gonna read these until I finish the game

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

I'M NOT EVEN

I'M NOT EVEN

actually yeah i'm ok with this

good luck in your lp man I'm not gonna read these until I finish the game

Thanks bro.
Broseph.
Bro-owski.
Just up to CASTLEVAAAAAAINA.
Too bad I'm playing this on the PS3 so he can't detect any CASTLEVAAAAAAINA saves.

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

Spoiler: IT IS TIME. (click to show/hide)

Okay, first up, is it needed to have malnutrition to be psychic? Because Man does Psycho Mantis need some burgers.

Yo!
YO SNAKE!
I THINK SHE MIGHT BE MIND CONTROLLED.
'Oh no shit Campbell you think?'

Okay excuse me just beating up a woman here.
Oh god I need to scrub my brain with steel wool now.

Okay, spoiler, turns out psycho is not tricked by plugging the controller into a new port, which was what I did like 5 times, but you actually have to go into settings and set the controller to be a player two controller.

No doing this before the fight begins, either, which is fine I guess.
I have no idea why Mantis even uses Meryl, she is absolutely useless even with that gun against me and my fancy kicks.

Oh not the Hideo channel that just hideous hahahahahah
Interesting factoid, after you start being able to hit him, he occasionally says 'I can't breathe' or something like that.

Crawling snake, crawling snake, invulnerable to that chair spinning thing.

Crawling snake, crawling snake, apparently invulnerable to everything he does.

Oh wait, perhaps he's saying 'I can't read him,'.
Well, my interpretation is way better.

Oh yhea bring up Meryl again that's suuuuch a good idea
Um wait Mantis were you seriously not expecting me to knock meryl out again while you made her completely helpless and you did nothing to stop me from going over there and giving here a 1-2 kick?

I mean, I did that twice before, and that was when she was trying to shoot me.

Oh and now he's going invisible all the time except when he shoots at me.
Great idea apart from, you know, IR goggles.

Oh now you just try to fire everything at me at once, cool, except i can crawl, which bypasses everything.
Annnd now I won.

Naomi, it wasn't hard to save her anyway.
Also, cold, but true, it wouldn't be so bad if I had a tranq, of course.

Meryle, don't just say Gross, that's a bit insensitive.
Oh god Mantis.
That's... A lot more worse of a past than I thought you had.

Of course, I never really thought about your past.

Meryl, shut up, it's fine, you were mind controlled, it's bloody fine.
Well, I guess I wouldn't be so fine if you were actually able to hit me.
Wow snake, you are being even colder now.
Oh yhea Meryl, all that therapy about getting rid of your sexual drive, that sure wasn't a waste of time.

Oh snake you loveable bastard, you aren't fooling anyone with that little lone wolf speech.

Well, onto the next level!

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

Spoiler: Wolf Dogs HeHe (click to show/hide)

Okay here we are.
Oh excuse me Snake? Wolf-Dogs?
Half Wolf, Half Huskie?
I dunno about you but they sound adorable, and deadly.
Mostly adorable.

Oh haha snake yhea, you ride sleds.
Wait are you actually being serious.

Why shouldn't I play in the dark, Master dude? Maybe I want some suspicious candy.

Now MGS I know you want to be all ominous and stuff but those dog howls really don't do it well.

The drums are a nice touch though.

AH NO WOLFDOGS YOU AREN'T SO ADORABLE NOW.
Okay, that knockdown attack is just stupid now.
And I died.

Okay, lemme just try something...
Nope.

Okay, apparently C4 doesn't work on crumbly sections of rock.
Oh come on I couldn't even see that dog!

And now I can't shake it off, brilliant.
UGHHH PISS OFF DOG.

Master, I already have Night vision goggles, I don't need darkness pointers, I need to figure out how to get this dog to piss off without killing it!
I already feel bad killing those guys when you rescueish the DARPA chief!

Ahhh finally, got rid of the dog.
AGHHHHHH DOG.
I WANT TO STRANGLE YOU BUT I WOULD FEEL TOO BAD.

OKAY THEN TIMESKIP.
OH MY GOD PUPPY I FORGIVE ALL OF YOU.

Oh shut up Meryl those dogs were assholes and you know it.
Now get those dogs to attack me so they will piss on the box!

Oh my god those dogs are so adorable.
'Leave it to me!' She says in the same way one might say 'I'm better than you!'

Wait, so you got residual mind powers? Das pretty cool.
But wait I can still use my thermal goggles so I didn't really need the help.
Also claymores don't activate if you crawl.
Still cool though.

OH SHIZ SNOIPER WOLF TIME.
Jesus sniper, you didn't need to fire 4 times there.

Meryl please stop spouting exposition that just makes you bleed more.
And you know there is zero chance I'm gonna leave you here.

Colonel are you an idiot of course it's a trap.
Thanks for the late apology there by the way.

Ok thanks but where exactly AM I GONNA FIND A BLOODY SNIPER RIFLE?!
Wiki wiki wiiiki....
Ahem I... What?
Okay then, miles away, nice.

Okay then, looks like it's a cliff hanger for now.
WILL MERYL SURVIVE?
WILL SNAKE EVER GET THAT SNIPER RIFLE?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON MGS1 PLAYTHROUGH!

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

TL/DR Thoughts:
Oh cool, a camera, just what I need to take down the legendary sniper who's capable of going into a food coma.

Oh, here it is, after the infuriating laser beam thing that caused multiple deaths.

Finally got out of there, those gun turrets seem dangerous and can in fact kill you pretty easily, but they look super dopy once you walk past their rotation range, they're just like ''imma gonna getcha, Imma gonna getcha!'

This is the el-ev-ator sooong-

Wow this psycho Mantis music has gotten way more ominous now.

Wolves! Good thing I made those other wolves piss on my cardboard box!
Dammit that box helps but I can't see anything either.

Okay you wolf bastard, here we go!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Hey snake i would really appreciate it if you didn't have to sit down, take out your sniper rifle, turn like ten degrees then zoom in so it takes like half a minute to get the crosshairs where I want them to be you know.

Right in them massive cleavage!
Oh god no what has corrupted me.

Snake I know getting shot hurts but can you please stop going like 10 miles off target every time you get hit?

It kinda increases the odds you'll be shot again.
Okay, won, and meryl is gone.
Great.
Also I wasted all of my muscle relaxants, so that's great.

Annnd now I'm captured, nice.
And you are stupid for being outgunned by an idiot!

Okay this is getting quickly creepy.

This is a running theme with the bosses, isn't it? They always seem obsessed with Snake in some way.

Oh hey dude, I assume I'm the dark dude, right?

What's the problem with the Genome soldiers? Mutations? You mean being massive idiots.

Oh hey dude.
Wassup.
Little brother? Big brother, there we go.

You are the most british person ever, you know that?
Shut up sniper, you're the one with so much cleavage.

He took your hand pretty easily, too.
Octopus? Who was that one again?
Shut up wolf.

Lets play a gyeaaaaame.
Hahaha your arm is sliced oAGGGGGJGGJGBLGRGLEBA.
Oh hey DARPA dude.

Oh really? Already?

Dang, and I still haven't figured out how to get out.
Oh hey Urinating Octopus.
Snake, I'm kinda surprised that you're actually loosing your cool.

Ah ha, good ol ketchup.
Dammit, messed it up.
OH GOD NO I FORGOT AHHHHHHH I FORGOT TO SAVE AND I RESET THE GAME.
AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
HHHHHH-
HHHHHHHHHHH.
*Cries*

Come back next time where i regain the spirit to continue playing!

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

...
...
I swear I've been in this room watching the intro screen of MGS1 for like an hour.
I am pretty sure I'm gonna be seeing that intro etched into my mind when I sleep.
BUT I SWEAR THAT A NEW EPISODE WILL BE COMING UP, NO MATTER HOW CRAP I AM AT DOING THIS, AND NO MATTER HOW OPAQUE THOSE SMALL TEXT LINES ARE LOOKING AT THEM LATER AND NO MATTER HOW MANY PEOPLE DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS!

PERHAPS TODAY, MABYE TOMORROW, BUT I SWEAR THAT I WILL DO SO!
Dammit Caps Lock.

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

Oh hey also has anyone seen The Last Days Of FOXHOUND?, it's pretty good.

Spoiler: Back In Da Groove! (click to show/hide)

Okay, round two.
Feel free to put some montage music in here if you want.

Wait, nope, stop the montage music, I can't find my tv controller.
Ah ha! Here it was under the tidal wave of paper!

I DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH THE LASER THAT TIME!
Ahhh finally there we go got the PSG1 time to face off against Sniper Wolf again and kick her ass!

*Insert Elevator Song Here.*
Oh haha haaaaa nearly forgot about those claymores there outside in the blistering cold.
Nearly, but not enough.
Oh and I got hit by one anyway because I forgot that it still triggers when being slightly behind it.

Which one was the way to Mantis's place... Oh, B1, not B2, that's the electric floor gas room.

I can only imagine the hell for anyone who didn't know the wolf to pee on box trick when revisiting this dog cave.
Dammit game I wouldn't mind some smooth scrolling here with the sniper rifle!

That sneaky bastard waiting for my anti trembling drugs to run out.
And I missed 4 times in a row because that bloody aimint method, it's like *eeeh FLING* so yo can't make minute adjustments.

GODDAMIT WOLF STOP MOVING SO MY BULLETS WON'T TRAVEL FAST ENOUGH.
I HAVE TO LIE DOWN AND TAKE THOSE BULLETS BUT YOU JUST WALTZ OFF!
Dear god it was a miracle that I could hit her without those drugs having an effect.

Still, I won, time to redo that torture scene.

Bla bla bla bla bla.
Torture torture torture.
Circle circle circle.

Call Otacon, wait...
Damnit, torture again? Ughhh, geeze.

Okay then arm vib ohhh I just realised that it was specifically the arm snake mentions hurting because of the button mashing!
Nice.

Man I wanna see the toilets after that prision guard is done with them, must just be painted in poo.

Damnit Otacon come on!
What do you mean campbell! What chance do I have?
Oh here he is, finally.
Good old ketchup, hope I don't screw it up like before!

... Actually, lemme just save now.
Okay, messed it up, lemme just reload the slightly earlier save, _{Thank god.}

Oh yay five minute codec call yayyyyyyyyyyyyy
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX skiiiip
AHHHH WHY DOES HE RUN OUT WHYYYYYYYYYYYY *reload*.

Wait.
Wait.

Wait.
Now!
I'M PUT YAYYYYY *Confetti*.

Come back next time for... Something after a jailbreak!