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[Truean]

Life can be really hard, and feeling better would be good for everyone.

This is a thread for things that made you feel better today, including long term goals, ways you met certain needs, things that helped you get through a problem you had, and/or ways to get past problems and bad thoughts. (Bad thoughts are ones that make you feel bad here).

Rules:

1.) No being mean; the rest of the internet and world are often that.
2.) Nothing sexual, please. Speaking of things the rest of the internet is....
3.) More as and if the need arises.

[LordBucket]

Things that made you feel better today.

Sleeping on a heating pad. It was warm. Warm is nice.

[FearfulJesuit]

I've been dealing with a serious slump, myself- I always have one in late February/early March. Christmas is but a distant memory, there are still a couple weeks of classes to go, it's still wet and grey and cold outside. My academic productivity has slowed to a crawl and getting up every morning is a struggle no matter how much I've slept. Coffee is becoming increasingly ineffective, too.

So, I biked for three miles- first day I've been able to bike in a week because of the snow- and ate some chili pods, which help motivate me a little bit.

[Truean]

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-ways-to-keep-terrorists-from-ruining-world/

(Warning Somewhat NSFW. Triggers for violence, rape mention as an example of bad violent crime, etc)

TL;DR. Don't feed the trolls. Dwelling on things doesn't help. An eye for an eye solves nothing and leaves us all blind.

Commentary and a lot of it:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I don't always agree with David Wong, but I really like some of the things he says here.

6.) Ignore the scoreboard.

This is just so huge and so applicable to all sorts of things. The idea that arguing for bad things is losing is just so completely true. His idea of wishing harm on somebody who committed a crime is just so true. Wishing that something terrible happens to somebody who did something terrible is thinking that two wrongs make a right. It doesn't, but it does make more wrongs and no rights. I've been screwed over in so many ways and I confess I've sometimes wished what happened to me would happen to the person who did it to me, but how would that help me? How would it help me if the person who stole my car had their car stolen? How would it help me if the person who beat the hell out of me got beaten the hell out of by somebody else?

It wouldn't. We'd both be walking to the hospital if we weren't too injured to walk. We'd both be worse off. "Evening the score" doesn't help. Sure, I'm pissed off that somebody really did steal my car once. I'm pissed off that I've been beaten the hell out of before. I was hurt and left in a bad spot and unable to get to my job at subway (I was 17 and it almost got me fired). I was angry and I'm still a little angry about it.

I wish I wasn't angry about it anymore. Getting my car stolen happened over 10 years ago. Nothing I can do now will ever change that it happened or that I couldn't get to work. Every second I think about it is another wasted second of my life that I'll never get back. I could've used that second to try and make myself happier, but instead I'm still angry about having my car stolen 10 years ago. Same goes for when I got made fun of and beaten up as a kid. It's a waste and it's sad and it doesn't help me. Mr Wong uses some extreme examples, but he's not necessarily wrong.

5.) The futility of revenge to show people up.

Ok, maybe we should do things to stop people who hurt us, but we'll NEVER change their minds/convince them to stop. We might FORCE them to stop though. His example points out how people who are messing with the US know the US has a very strong military, and they don't care/aren't persuaded by it. "Showing strength" doesn't work on these people, because they already knew about it and it didn't alter their decision making. Maybe we should strike back and maybe we have no choice but to strike back, but it's foolish to think that striking back will somehow persuade somebody to knock it off voluntarily.

How is this useful? All over the place. Internet trolls come to mind online.

In real life, Jesus, it seems everybody is intent on proving some point or another and I just can't manage to care anymore, because I'm so worn out. I somehow got called a sleazy jerk who got guilty people off and told I was "selling people down the river"/not doing my job/not defending them.... Wait a minute, this is an either or senario--you're either short or you're tall, but not both at the same time. Either I was doing too much for people, or I wasn't doing enough, but again, not both at the same time.

That said, everybody was trying to get me to act in their interest. Clients threatened me in some sort of vain effort for me to do more for them (when I was already doing everything I could). Police were harassing the shit out of me including pulling me over for no reason, because I cross examined and got somebody off.

So with that in mind, what am I supposed to do? Do I act like a jerk back to the people who were a jerk to me. Do I sink down to their level and get in the mud with them? Do I threaten the jerk criminal client right back? Do I do inappropriate things back to the guy who pulled me over for no reason? Why? What good would that do for me? Forget any consequences of this, I'd be right back where I was when I got my car stolen at 16....  Not helpful to scratch that itch. Speaking of which....

4.) Don't scratch the itch.

I god don't you wanna scratch that damn itch though? If somebody hits you, it's just such a thing to want to turn around and deck them right back. Isn't it an animal instinct? I might, if somebody literally hit me, HAVE to hit them back in self defense or something.

David Wong is right though, resisting that urge to scratch that itch is the better path (in the case of being hit, filing a police report is the right thing to do if you can, but it doesn't always work that way sadly).

3.) Evil is Rare and Weakness is common.

It's so easy to think people are evil jerks when they're hurting you somehow. Once you start thinking that, those revenge thoughts kick right the heck in.

The reality of this applies when you realize that "he's not worth it." This means you shouldn't waste your effort being a jerk back to the person who was a jerk to you. It just wastes your time, and you only have so much of that.

2.) Watch out for Hitler

Godwin's Law. David Wong is right when he points out that there's no point in arguing this with a person who brings this up, because that person doesn't want to argue. They want to shut down any opposing views and thus automatically win. It's a loosing game and the only winning move is not to play

1.) We're winning

He means civilization is winning as opposed to violence. This is perhaps one of the most important parts of the article. While I disagree with a lot of what Wong says, and I'm skeptical of some of the stuff even in this article, this is important.

The idea is that you're only beaten if you stoop to their level. It continues the theme of two wrongs not making a right and suppressing your anger and base instincts to argue right back with the troll to make yourself feel better, or to be a jerk back to the person who was a jerk to you. I've fallen into that trap. We all have. The point is that it is often the person who is arguing and screaming who has the problem, not the person they are yelling at and that's enormous to anybody who's been in an emotionally abusive situation and who has taken it personally. I've been told not to "take things personally" but god is it hard not to sometimes. This. So much this.

I'm hoping this helps me focus on more constructive things.

I was able to focus on getting some progress done on my art sprites without being preoccupied by bad thoughts (negative self talk, and feeling bad about things that happened in the past. I got things done and made progress towards one of my goals instead of feeling bad about things that happened in the past.

[Vector]

.

[Xantalos]

I'll need this hopefully.

[mastahcheese]

I talked to some friends on steam today.

[Eric Blank]

Was confused on a question on the art exam today, unsure if something I used in the essays was correct

After I got out of class, checked up on it: got it right! Misspelled it, but still correct!

[Sirus]

Opened my bedroom window for the first time in basically forever. It rained a little. So now my room is not only aired out but has that nice rain smell :3

[Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum]

I'll post to hopefully hear happy stories from other people.

[Orange Wizard]

I've drunk so much tea todaaaaayyyy......

[Mictlantecuhtli]

Posting to lurk and watch people feeling better for various reasons.

Not working made me feel better today, though.

[Dorfs R Fun]

I fed  my cat and watched him purr while eating today.

[Darvi]

I'll get back on this once I actually find something to feel good about.

[Itnetlolor]

Despite my situation slightly improving (I can freelance again; I guess my info got processed enough to qualify. Still no penalties from the random ID confirmation, and getting it half-done (still waiting on the other document to arrive in the mail)), I've suddenly gotten a "calm" come over me, as if I should no longer worry about getting work; like it's en route, one way or another, and it'll be enough income to relax/no longer worry with. I don't know how or why, I but I feel I can actually trust it (not call BS on it like the past other times, and unfortunately, be right about it), and go with the flow with it. The weather improving, despite being not too different looking outside with all the fog (I feel like I'm in a GMod version of my hometown with these conditions; and expecting someone to spawn a Pyramid Head just to troll everyone, it's pretty dense here, even with the high noon sun.), is also an improvement. I can finally go outside and chill, not freeze. Which reminds me, I'm overdue for a walk/jog.