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[Emma]

Heh heh. I'm hoping to implement some "interesting" ideas during my turn. The one I'm currently working on is a balcony type thing which is ringed with strangled puppies off which I am going to throw dwarves that piss me off. Oh yeah, I'm also going to plant an FB into the bedroom of the baroness and I think I may have started a war with the elves by killing their diplomat, directly ignoring their orders and murdering all but one of their merchants.

[maxcat61]

Heh heh. I'm hoping to implement some "interesting" ideas during my turn. The one I'm currently working on is a balcony type thing which is ringed with strangled puppies off which I am going to throw dwarves that piss me off. Oh yeah, I'm also going to plant an FB into the bedroom of the baroness and I think I may have started a war with the elves by killing their diplomat, directly ignoring their orders and murdering all but one of their merchants.

I already got the dwarf dropper that goes at least 15z levels into the caves. Nothing can survive that.
The baroness was rather reasonable durring my turn. Be carefull about the FB's: they are Trap Void.

Also, could you elaborate more in your posts (Images, dates, journal-type entries rather then summarys)? We are all wondering what is happening(I can feel the hypocracy, but whatever)

[Arx]

Ah, what the heck. Can I sign up for a turn in the madness?

[NJW2000]

Can I have a turn? I feel like opressing somebody. NB: looking at timings, you may have 2 skip me, as I have exams coming up. Damn Latin GCSE.

[4maskwolf]

Gamedragon, could you dwarf the five dwarves that still need dwarfing?

Edit: I also added a silly joke in the title of the thread, although you'll have to remember/look up the first title to understand why I put it there.

Edit Two: Oh, and for the record, everyone who has requested a turn has been placed on the turn list.

[maxcat61]

This may be redundant, but when you redwarf dwarfs, make sure to add a number to their name (Ex: Maxcat III) so we know how many times they have died.

[Emma]

First Update:

Oh by Armok’s Blood why am I here? Don’t answer that, it’s rhetorical, I know the answer. Some genius bureaucrat up in the Mountainhomes a few hundred years ago made up some stupid law where someone can only run a fortress one year at a time. Now that I do have the power, however, it’s time to shape things up around here.

The first order of business is to get a marksman squad up and running, I don’t like elves and if my plans are to work, heh heh heh, then we’re going to need a squad of ranged dwarves to deal with their archers. I don’t actually know how to get this squad kicking so I just set up a few archery targets on the top level of our tower and let the three dwarves I chose to be in this squad figure it for themselves. The second pressing matter on my mind is the lack of blood to appease Armok. We do have blood surrounding us but it the blood of our enemies and warriors to please Armok and make him bless us, the blood of the innocent must be shredded. This, is why I have built a “dropper” to plummet dwarves from above unto the ground, then we will channel the ground around them and let their blood mingle freely with the river.

*Some Time Passes*

Elves! Or more correctly an Elven diplomat. This “diplomat” has come to the fort and is badgering me to stop cutting down trees, hidden in his speech were several insults to our height and even a threat and insult to our military strength. Well it’s obvious that I ignored him, in fact, as he left I decided that we might need some more wood and so I set some designations to clear the entire surrounding area of wood. I didn’t kill him though, that will have to wait.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Haha! My patience has payed off! A group of Elven merchants have appeared! I let them approach the tower until they were nice and close to the river, at this point I sent the military after them. We slaughtered them, the fools didn’t even bring guards with them! I let one escape though if luck has it the elven nations will soon know of this and then… Armok will be worshipped with the blood of a thousand elves.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Bad Elves!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Good Elves!

In other news the dwarf dropper, or as I like to call it, the Palm of Armok, has been completed. When news of this reached me I created a squad called, The Sacrificed. This squad will be filled with people who are to be sacrificed. They will be stripped naked and clothed only in their faith in Armok and they shall be armed with nothing. When they are naked they will be ordered to stand in the Palm of Armok and he will judge them by dropping them and seeing if they survive! If they don’t there blood will be channeled into the river to mingle with it’s waters and bless our every drink.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, we have an uninvited guest.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Emma]

Small Update:

I noticed today that we have an artifact by the name of The Hawk of Spies. This artifact is a bone mace, I am a macedwarf, do you see the connection? Upon learning this, I instantly equipped it, and now I am wielding a steel mace and The Hawk of Spies simultaneously.

The first sacrifice has been chosen. A dwarven milker who pissed me off a while ago for a reason that I have forgotten but it matters not. She has been chosen and so she shall fall, now I just have to figure out how to get her to stand on the bloody dropper! I believe that I may have to make it larger. Oh, and some meatshields migrants arrived.

(( Okay so the next few updates will not feature images as my internet connection has begun running incredibly slowly and attempting to upload an image will just cause pain. Fear not though, for as soon as my internet is running faster I shall update my posts with more images! ))

[maxcat61]

I noticed today that we have an artifact by the name of The Hawk of Spies. This artifact is a bone mace, I am a macedwarf, do you see the connection? Upon learning this, I instantly equipped it, and now I am wielding a steel mace and The Hawk of Spies simultaneously.

You can only wield 1 weapon at a time. The 2nd weapon is in case you drop the first one. Also, steel>bone, even if it is an artifact.

[Emma]

Small Update:

A metalsmith by the name of Edzul has claimed a forge in order to complete some sort of “secret project”. Pfff, I’ve seen of this before, a dwarf goes crazy working on a single project, and I’m telling you if he fails I don’t want to be near him.

I’ve decided that when the elves finally come attacking that we will need some better firepower. It is for this reason, that I have ordered a siege workshop to be finally created so that we can build ballistae and catapults to crush the dirty tree-huggers beneath our feet. We recently had an ettin attack, we took it out easily but not before it turned my hand into a mangled heap so I’m taking a little time off from fighting and am recovering now. This whole ettin attack has given me a new perspective, I’m not going to live forever, and so I have ordered that construction of my tomb begin immediately.

OOC: Everyone has been dwarfed.

[The Froggy Ninja]

Even the dead? What kind of dorf am I?

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

I would like to take another turn later on.

[4maskwolf]

Gamedragon has been skipped for being inactive too long, next player is up using the save from the end of the last turn.

[TheFlame52]

ALRIGHT, YOU MAGGOTS! YOU'VE GOT A NEW OVERSEER, AND THAT'S ME! WHAT, SURPRISED I'M BACK FROM THE DEAD? AIN'T NO WAY IN HELL A LITTLE BIT OF THIRST IS KILLING THIS GUY!

...WHO THE HELL WAS OVERSEER BEFORE ME? ALRIGHT, WE'RE GETTING SOME GOOD, PROPER EXPLORATORY MINING SET UP IN SOME OF THE GOLD AND LIMONITE-BEARING LAYERS. THEN WE'LL HAVE A FEW MASON'S WORKSHOPS LINKED TO A GABBRO STOCKPILE MAKING NOTHING BUT GOOD STONE BRICKS. FROM THERE WE'LL EXPAND THE TOWER UPWARDS, ADDING HEIGHT BEFORE PUTTING SHIT IN IT.

ALSO, I WANT SOMEONE MAKING MECHANISMS AND CAGES PRONTO, THERE SHOULD BE A FUCKING RING OF CAGE TRAPS AROUND THE WHOLE TOWER BY YEAR'S END.

FINALLY, ENOUGH SMELTING WITH PUSSY CHARCOAL, WE'RE DIGGING SOME FUCKING MAGMA FORGES.

[nomoetoe]

This should be interesting.