Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[3man75]

Call it fruity but have you thought of buying a suit and then going out to a club to dance?

Makes me feel good to look badass in my classines. Conceited sure but hey picking up a girl or two isn't too bad right?

Oh an you may want to take a dancing class if you don't know how to dance. Mostly no one cares but they won't want to dance with someone they can't groove with. Cheers!

[Hawk132]

Rediscover the joys of self-pleasure. It's good for you! Some say you're Wasting Time, but a buncha knobs is what they are. Maybe you can even Cheer Up as a result.

Also, you don't make your own coffee? That doesn't sound like a proper coffee addict speaking! You'd actually need to leave your house a whole bunch of times to get even one Balzac's worth! Probably best to give up and Call It Quits, then.

+1.

[Harry Baldman]

Call it fruity but have you thought of buying a suit and then going out to a club to dance?

Makes me feel good to look badass in my classines. Conceited sure but hey picking up a girl or two isn't too bad right?

Oh an you may want to take a dancing class if you don't know how to dance. Mostly no one cares but they won't want to dance with someone they can't groove with. Cheers!

There are no words to describe how hilariously this idea would fail. Let's save it for a day of true desperation.

[3man75]

Call it fruity but have you thought of buying a suit and then going out to a club to dance?

Makes me feel good to look badass in my classines. Conceited sure but hey picking up a girl or two isn't too bad right?

Oh an you may want to take a dancing class if you don't know how to dance. Mostly no one cares but they won't want to dance with someone they can't groove with. Cheers!

There are no words to describe how hilariously this idea would fail. Let's save it for a day of true desperation.

I thought that was the point. Oh well.

[Fniff]

Rolling Dice
Here we go again.
Suicidal Thoughts vs. Hope
Suicidal Thoughts: 16
Hope: 8
Oh dear. Suicide attempt a-go-go. Don't worry, the odds are... somewhat in our favor, as the dev isn't that sadistic.
Suicide Attempt...
Hope: 16.
Phew. Old Murphy had the resources to do it, but didn't go all the way. He didn't even hurt himself. Really, this is the best outcome aside from not even being able to do it. Usually you'll turn out scuffed but okay, as you only commit suicide with a result of 4 and unless we get ones on all our hope dice we're in the clear. Welp, time to continue on with our day. I'm afraid I'll cut the going cold turkey action. Hey, planning a suicide and not going through with it takes time out of your day.
Vice
Vice vs. Hope
Vice: 24
Hope: 13
Oh dear. We got a die more for our vice. Funny thing is, Murphy is now on the level of a serious drug addiction. He might as well be on crack cocaine at this point, mechanically at least.
Now the other actions.
Waste Time
Hope: 9+
Yeah! Except wasting time is exactly what it is. Pretty much useless and sometimes actively detrimental. A previous character of mine completely screwed themselves by wasting time and ending up getting obsessed with trying to fix up their cabin in the woods. Funnily enough, they were pretty similar to Murphy but instead of wanting to kill themselves they imagined they had a little sister when in reality they were an only child. This game makes interesting and mentally healthy people.

Cheer Up
Hope: 16
Suicidal Thoughts: 11
Wow, seeing someone try to get over their problems and generally almost succeeding is surprisingly nice to see in this game. Again, it was almost. We're still the same as always, but if we got a margin of 8 or more against suicidal thoughts, it'd lose a die and some of it's teeth.
Alright. Let's go.

Day Two
One New Post on The Topplr for 'Murphy'

Hello internet. For your information, the last time I went to a disco was in the 60s where I got my teeth kicked in by John Lennon. Prick. Yeah, you can say you're all for peace, but you still left my teeth in pieces. Besides, night clubs are idiot detention centers.
As for self-pleasure... Yeah. It was nice. But it's hardly an earth-shattering event. It's disappointing how long it took, really.
Sorry I'm quiet today. I can't think of much to say, really. I tried cheering myself up earlier by watching the soaps, but I've been ignoring my problems with that nonsense for too long.
I wonder if the toolshed's lock has rusted since they put it on.

One New Post on The Topplr for 'Murphy'

if youre worirede im fine. i got the toolshed open and i gathered up all the tools with the stanley knife and the rope and the petrol can and a lot of options relaly. then i rememebered on of your idaes. i cant cook and coffee machines were always so expensive but i just thought fuck it. i went to lidl in a daze stayed away from the people and bought a cheap coffee machine for only half my benefits cheque for this month thank you lidl. i made myself a cup of coffeee and another cup and then another cup and then it was dark already and who the hell wants to do anything when its dark?
im not sleeping tonight but hey the coffees nice
thanks lidl
thanks internet
post any advice you have ill be right here pressing refresh at a million times a second

Spoiler: Actions (click to show/hide)

Generic
Do Nothing: What did you say about staring at the walls? Great idea, let's do that.
Go Outside: Did you know that when you go outside, there's a 90% chance that spiders won't attack you? The odds favor you.
Suicide Attempt: Why not?
Waste Time: Masturbating to EastEnders while eating chips is a noble art.
Trait Specific
Vice
Call It Quits: Go cold turkey. Coffee isn't the boss of you! Except it is.
Indulge and Forget: Drinking loads of coffee should help blot out your other issues.
Suicidal Thoughts
Cheer Up: Let's throw pebbles at that mounting depression until it leaves.
Write In
Any better ideas? (I'll try and fit this into the rules somehow, even if they are quite rigid; expect homebrewing)

Spoiler: Statistics (click to show/hide)

Hope
3d10
Traits
Suicidal Tendencies: 3d10
Vice: 4d10 (Sugar/Caffeine)

[Harry Baldman]

Sleep is for the young! Go Outside! There's a whole world out there to kill yourself! Surely that's better than a dank house?

Cheer Up! You've not long left now. So why not Indulge and Forget your worries?

[~Neri]

No indulging.

[3man75]

Go out jogging to the park its great fun and easy to get along with other runners. Maybe you can join a online group to see when they meet. Just make sure you research what your looking for because some are competitive and some are just for fun/health.

[Fniff]

Rolling Dice
Let's go, go, go! Sorry about the delay. Also, how the hell did I forget to update the day? This is Day Three.
Suicidal Thoughts vs. Hope
Hope: 27
Suicidal Thought: 21
Yay, Murph's still got a lust for life! Or he's lazy. Whichever, it's an improvement.
Vice vs. Hope
Hope: 12
Vice: 16
Oh darn, it won by 4, so we just lost an action. Murphy's really upped his sugar habit now that he's got a coffee machine.
Now for actions.
Go Outside
Hope: 16
Still can't hit 25, so we can't even try going outside. Methinks we need to farm our hope a bit. Unfortunately, the only way to do that is if we get crazy lucky with going cold turkey.
Cheer Up
Hope: 19
Suicidal Thoughts: 7
Excellent. We won by a staggering margin of 12, when we only needed 8 to succeed. Murphy's lost a die of suicidal thoughts, so he's obviously getting a brighter outlook on the situation. Of course, he still needs more hope in his life and we're a while until the finish line.
Let's keep going.

Day Three
One New Post on The Topplr for 'Murphy'

Hello internet. I've had... an interesting day.
I spent the entire night drinking coffee from the new machine (Thanks Lidl, again) and working up the courage to go outside so I could throw myself off the local bridge. Yes, I want to kill myself, you might have guessed by now. I always liked that bridge, I drove over it every day when I went to work. There was very little traffic on it, but it was also a nice bridge in and of itself. I suppose I wanted to die at the place that most mattered to me. I know it's silly that the only place I feel peaceful is at a bridge over a river that's 1% water and 99% piss, but shut up.
When I drank the last of my coffee, I went to the front door. I stood there for ten minutes. The thing is, if this was a year ago, I would have done it. But all I was thinking about was how Darren was going to post some bloody obituary with little animations and dedications to his Uncle Murphy, and I hated the idea that would be how I would be remembered by the only people who seem to actually give half a toss about my existence.
So bollocks to suicide. I'm not out of the woods, but I'm not leaving you lot yet. I might even take up running, if it's not too wet or hot outside. It's a new day. Any recommendations for exercise groups that aren't idiotic?

Spoiler: Actions (click to show/hide)

Generic
Do Nothing: What did you say about staring at the walls? Great idea, let's do that.
Go Outside: Did you know that when you go outside, there's a 90% chance that spiders won't attack you? The odds favor you.
Suicide Attempt: Why not?
Waste Time: Masturbating to EastEnders while eating chips is a noble art.
Trait Specific
Vice
Call It Quits: Go cold turkey. Coffee isn't the boss of you! Except it is.
Indulge and Forget: Drinking loads of coffee should help blot out your other issues.
Suicidal Thoughts
Cheer Up: Let's throw pebbles at that mounting depression until it leaves.
Write In
Any better ideas? (I'll try and fit this into the rules somehow, even if they are quite rigid; expect homebrewing)

Spoiler: Statistics (click to show/hide)

Hope
3d10
Traits
Suicidal Tendencies: 2d10
Vice: 4d10 (Sugar/Caffeine)

[Harry Baldman]

Yeah, try getting some exercise! All that coffee must be burning a hole in your desire to stare at the ceiling at home. Besides, you don't need a group to jog in the mornings. Just a route on which you don't get stabbed.

Would you describe yourself as more of a chubby or a skinny old man, though? It's usually one of those two.