Rolling for TraitsUsually, you're meant to roll all your traits' dice and then order them from highest to lowest. The highest three happen on that day. Since we only have three, let's just cut the rolling.
Suicidal Thoughts vs. HopeSuicide: 12
Hope: 13Lucky.
Health ProblemAs it has equal/less dice then 4d10, all our bum ticker can do is bother us. That usually isn't a problem unless it rolls 14 or higher, which...
Health Problem: 15It just did. It now has an extra die.
Vice vs. HopeVice: 13
Hope: 12Murphy is a lucky guy... Not that lucky, though. The margin counts in this roll, and it was just a tie. You take it easy, but you're still on the sugar.
Now, your actions.
Seek HelpIf the result is less then 8, you stay at home. If the result is between 8 and 14, you just go to the drug store, and if the result is 15, you actually go to the doctor and get your problem fixed up.
Hope: 15Well, won't have to worry about that heart problem in the future! Now all Murphy has to deal with is the junk food and the crushing desire to end his miserable existence. Speaking of the former.
Indulge and ForgetThis would need a player decision, but since we only have suicidal tendencies left, and you can't indulge your vice to forget you're indulging your vice outside of a Terry Prachett novel, it's obvious what we need to forget.
Vice: 14
Suicidal Thoughts: 17Sadly, sugar isn't an anti-depressant. Now let's do the unbelievable and go outside!
Go OutsideHope: 19... Well, I guess Murphy's going to take it one step at a time. The doctor's office is good enough, right?
Day One
One New Post on The Topplr for 'Murphy'
Hello internet. A few of you have been suggesting things, which is nice. Either I'm on the way to becoming a sensation or Darren sent some of his friends over to pester me into happiness. I'm fine with either, just don't post any of those bollocks 'inspirational' pictures or I will probably kill myself out of spite. If I had to go, I'd do it with a shotgun, but unfortunately the only people with those are farmers and gangsters. The only things in my house that could kill a man are in my toolshed, and that's been locked since the last time I was thinking on this subject.
As suggested, I picked up some coffee at Starbucks. Well, not coffee. It used to be that you would go to a petrol station and ask for a coffee and they would give it to you, but no such luck here. Nooo, what I was drinking was a White Chocolate Expresso with Double Foam because the failed art student on the till told me that I would have to be more specific. I knew that he and his friends would be out brightdancing or whatever to Lady Rihanna out in the park because that's what you trendy young types do nowadays, so I decided to head straight to the doctor's office to avoid them. Besides, it was too hot to go to the park.
The doctor gave me the usual speech. I swear, every twat with a labcoat seems to be judging you nowadays. It used to be that my dentist, good old Harvey, would pat me on the back for giving him so much business, but now it's all heart disease and healthy eating and mumbo jumbo like that. However, the doctor gave me a bottle of pills and sent me on my way after the speech.
They seem to have done the trick. I don't feel like I'm being knifed in the chest every second and my headaches are going down.
To those suggesting I go to the park, this is what actually works. You don't do yogo while speedwalking in the park to get healthy. You take pills the doctor gives you, lie down a bit, then stop talking about it.
Any recommendations for what I should do with my life can go in the comments.
Generic
Do Nothing: What did you say about staring at the walls? Great idea, let's do that.
Go Outside: Did you know that when you go outside, there's a 90% chance that spiders won't attack you? The odds favor you.
Suicide Attempt: Why not?
Waste Time: Masturbating to EastEnders while eating chips is a noble art.
Trait Specific
Vice
Call It Quits: Go cold turkey. Coffee isn't the boss of you! Except it is.
Indulge and Forget: Drinking loads of coffee should help blot out your other issues.
Suicidal Thoughts
Cheer Up: Let's throw pebbles at that mounting depression until it leaves.
Write In
Any better ideas? (I'll try and fit this into the rules somehow, even if they are quite rigid; expect homebrewing)
Hope
3d10
Traits
Suicidal Tendencies: 3d10
Vice: 3d10 (Sugar/Caffeine)