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[Tawa]

Oh no! Lord Jhnson's stocks have been stolen! He's missing forty cakes! That's as many as four tens! And that's terrible! Cakes are the primary export of your village, Vi-ll'age, and you'll all certainly die for some reason if those forty cakes aren't recovered!

Oh, I think I forgot to mention that you're all completely unremarkable peasants who have never seen combat more difficult than tending rowdy livestock.

But you've been chosen for the task, as Lord Jhnson's knights are all off fighting in the war against Baron Dvidson and there's nobody else left. But still! You must recover your lord's sole source of income, lest you all perish!

IMPORTANT STUFF, or, Tawa, what the hell are you smoking?
I have decided to run a single-quest D&D game. In case you didn't catch the above blurb, it's going to be silly in the extreme and have no sense of seriousness whatsoever and is mostly about recovering stolen cake.

ANYWAY, rules:
1. First level. 28 point buy. You must be a Commoner, which is the entire point of the game.
2. NO CHICKEN-INFESTED WHATSOEVER.
3. For the sake of simplicity (and to avoid weird crap like yuan-ti peasants,) PHB only (aside from the DMG's mandatory Commoner class). Anything else is going to have to go through the discerning eye of the DM. Don't be afraid of "no" if you try it.
4. I won't blame you for minmaxing, but if you reduce your INT, WIS, or CHA under 8, I expect you to play your character as being dimwitted.

Lastly, deepest apologies, but there will be no waitlist, because this is going to be short. Very short. Not so short as to be just lame, but short nonetheless.

Oh, and there's a decent shot you could die. You're playing a commoner, after all, your HP is going to be, like, 9, tops.

PLAYERS (3/4)
EagleV as Thorgrim

Spoiler: Mastahcheese as Brock the Human (click to show/hide)

Name: Brock
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Appearance: Nobody cares.
Class: Commoner
Stats---
STR: 16
DEX: 12
CON: 12
INT: 5 (I assume this low would make sure I have no skill points to bother with? )
WIS: 10
CHA: 16
Skills: 1 Use Rope, 1 Swim, 1 Spot, 1 Ride, just stats with everything else.
Feats: Power Attack, Cleave
Equipment:
Club
flint/steel
backpack
caltrops x5
10 ft ladder
torch
50 ft rope
iron pot
oil x4
Gallon of ale x2
Grappling Hook
chalk x3
Winter blanket
bedroll
(By the gods that has to weigh a lot)

Nerjin as Lumbrah Jack
Remuthra as Bill Shinkicker

[My Name is Immaterial]

* My Name is Immaterial's  eyes narrow, spotting a challenge.

Define "Core books". SRD only?

Edit: Current build plan is Human and two flaws. Wild Talent, Speed of Thought, Up the Walls, and Psionic Weapon, if it's just SRD.

[Tawa]

What? I said PHB. It always said that. The OP always said PHB. The OP never said SRD. The OP always said PHB. The OP never said SRD.

[My Name is Immaterial]

Damn.

I can't find the Commoner class in the PHB. Can I be a Wizard instead?

* My Name is Immaterial looks meaningfully at Tawarochir.

[Tawa]

...Dammit. I remember one thing and forget another.

OP now worded properly.

[My Name is Immaterial]

So that's a yes on the Wizard?

* My Name is Immaterial's pencil hovers menacingly over the class box, if a pencil can be menacing.

[Tawa]

You can be a wizard with no spells, bad saves across the board, no bonus feats, monk-level gold at first level, one weapon proficiency, a different set of class skills, and no familiar, yes.

^{_{short answer: no, sorry}}

[Harbingerjm]

Rolling gold? Average?

[My Name is Immaterial]

You can be a wizard with no spells, bad saves across the board, no bonus feats, monk-level gold at first level, one weapon proficiency, a different set of class skills, and no familiar, yes.

^{_{short answer: no, sorry}}

Fine. I'll find another way to break your game.

[Tawa]

Rolling gold? Average?

Whichever you prefer.

[My Name is Immaterial]

It may be some time before I can make a sheet, so I forfeit my seat until my sheet appears.

[Harbingerjm]

12.5 average, rounding down, so 12gp. Hmmm. Mules are 8gp. Obvious course of action is obvious.

[lawastooshort]

Buying a mule and a half?

[EagleV]

I'm in! Will get my sheet up tonight.

[Flying Dice]

PTW party get wrecked by cats. :V