TELL ME YOUR OPINON ON THIS RTD SO FAR OR
ELSEEvolve.
ROLL: 6
YOU DO NOT WANT TO COPERATE WITH HUMAN CATTLE, SO YOU DECIDED TO CHEAT. YOU QUICKLY STEAL A GAME SHARK FROM SOME KIND OF FAST FOOD PLACE, NOT TRUSTING THE OBVIOUSLY FRIED HUMAN PARTS TO BE ACTUALLY HEALTHY ENOUGH. YOU QUICKLY CHANGE YOURSELF INTO A SCIZOR. YOU QUICKLY HEAR LOW BUDGET SIRENS. OH NO!!!
ITS THE CHEAT POLICE!!!!! A BAND OF SUCH STUPID POKEMON RPING TARDS THAT EVEN THE SJW'S REJECTED THEM. THEY PATROL THE BLOCK PREVENTING ALL CHEATING, LIKE USING SKILL OR EVEN
MOVING. THEY ALSO TAKE EVERYTHING SERIOUS DUE TO BEING A CHEAP RIP OFF OF THE YOUTUBE POLICE. EASY
Eat a random CD I found labeled "hyper beam"
Roll: 5
YOU DO HOWEVER, GOT A METAL JAW AND TEETH SOMEHOW VIA REASONS EVEN SLANNESH WOULD DIE OF JUST HEARING IT FAR AWAY. YOU DO SO, AND GET HYPER BEAM!!!!! THE UNIVERSE SHUDDERS FOR A BIT, BUT AFTER LOOKING UP SOMETHING ON A HEROINE ADDICT, GETS BACK TO NORMAL.
ASK WHAT THE HECK I AM. THEN MUNCH ON THE NEXT PERSON TO POST.
KILL THEM ALL FOR LAUGHING AT MY DREAMS!!!!1!!!
ALSO KILL PERADON
ROLL YOINK: 5
PERADON SOON RUNS LIKE A PUSSY. HE DECIDES TO HIDE FROM LYEOS VIA A BUILDING IN A RECENTLY RAIDED TOWN. IT IS A PUB, AND ONCE PERADON RUNS IN, HE IS TREATED TO THE SIGHT OF YOINK SAVAGELY MURDERING HIS FORMER COMRADS. HE IS ALSO SCREAMING ABOUT SOMETHING CALLED 'THE MARKET' AND THAT DUE TO ITS DEMAND FOR WOOD, THAT THE SCYTHER INVADERS SHOULD JUST START CUTTING TREES DOWN FOR PROFIT. AFTER FINISHING OFF HIS FORMER FRIENDS, YOINK TURNS TO PERADON. PERADON LEAPS AFTER THIS HERETIC FOR KILLING. YOINK SOON FOLLOWS.
Y VS P: Roll: 5 VS 6
THE FIRST ONE TO GET A BLOW IN IS YOINK, WHO SLICES AT PERADON'S THORAX. THIS ALMOST PENETRATES THE BODY, BUT DUE TO THE LARGE AMOUNT OF EXOSKELLATEL ARMOR IN PERADON DUE TO EATING ALOT OF OTHER SCYTHERS, IT ONLY JUST LEAVES A BIG CRACK IN IT. THEY SOON SWORD FIGHT A BIT, BEING SLIGHTLY IN FAVOR OF PERADON DUE TO ALL THE YEARS OF RAGING AND SLAUGHTERING ENTIRE DIVISIONS OF TOTALLY NOT CARDBOARD SCYTHERS, IS LANDING MORE WOUNDS. HE EVEN PENETRATES YOINK'S THORAX, HITTING HIS PRIZED SUPER RIB. WHICH IS STILL SOMEHOW NOT DIGESTED OR IN THE STOMACH. THIS TAKES QUITE THE BIT OUT OF HIM, ALSO ON A BROKEN PILE OF BLUE MILK BOTTLES, AND YOINK WAS JUST WARMING UP.
Why would I want to kill prey when I have dead prey to eat right now? COMMENCE EATING CEREMONY. (The eating ceremony starts by cutting the head in half and eating the now-exposed brain. It continues by bisecting the human in a vertical axis and eating the now-exposed guts within. Aside from killing, a Scyther's blades are made for this.)
ROLL: 2
YOU IGNORE THEM, AND TRY TO EAT YOUR PREY WITH YOUR SWARM'S TRADITIONAL MEAL EATING CEREMONY. IT FAILS. THE DENNYS FANS WONT SHUT UP. THEY KEEP ON TALKING ABOUT THEIR THEORIES REGARDING THE THIRD GAME. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ZOMBIE, THAT THE ZOMBIE IS THE GOLDEN GHOST WITH ITS BODY BACK AND UP (EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE THE ZOMBIE), AND THAT YOU ARE SOMEHOW SOME KIND OF ARG PROMOTIONAL STUNT MADE BY JACK COTOWANKER. THEY CONTINUALLY INTERFERE TOO, LIKE TAKING PICTURES, HOOKING UP VARIOUS COMPUTERS TO YOUR WING TO SOMEHOW FIND OUT IF YOUR REAL, AND TRYING TO ANALYZE THE BODY TOO SEE IF IT LOOKS LIKE ITS GOT ITS LEFT LUNG RIPPED OUT, THEY SAY ITS JUST CHECKING TO SEE IF ITS RELATED TO THE LUNG RIPPING OF '63 IN THE GAME.
LUCKILY, THE TOADY DELETED THE SJW RTD, OR ELSE YOU MIGHT BECOME ONE OF THE FIENDISH BEINGS.
Be a Freddy Mercury Scyther. Want to break free.
ROLL: 1
YOU TRY TO BE, BUT SOMETHING CRASHES IN THE DISTANCE AND BREAKS YOUR CONCENTRATION. A BAND OF GREEN BRUTES FOLLOW OUT, AND ONE OF THEM THAT SOUNDS LIKE FREDDY IF HE WAS COCKNEY TELLS YOU THAT HE DOES NOT LIKE COPYCATS OF HIM. THEY QUICKLY GET OUT SEVERAL ROCK BAND INSTRUMENTS WITH CHAINSAWS AND BIG GUNS MCGUYVARED ON TO THE INSTRUMENTS. IT SEEMS THE BOSS ONE JUST HAS A MIC, BUT IMMENSE STEREOS CRASH INTO THE GROUND FROM SPACE. IT SEEMS ITS TIME TO SURVIVE AIRWAYS BLASTED AT YOU AND SPLITTING YOUR ATOMS, CAUSING ULTIMATE NUCLEAR DEATH.
AT LEAST IT ISN'T LIKE WHEN YOU TRIED TO DO LOVEHANDLE
STEP ASIDE, LET THE DUMMIES MURDERIZE EACH OTHER. THEN HIJACK SHINIES
ROLL:1
YOU TRY TO RUN OFF AND LET THEM KILL EACHOTHER, BUT ACIDENTLY START RUNING TOWARDS MC BEAN. Hey, McBeans trying to steal our customer, SHOOT HIM!!!
THE MAFIA STARTS ROCKET LAUNCHING MCBEAN, WHO SWIFTLY ACTIVATES HIS GUNS. THE GUNS HIT THE GREEN GUYS AS WELL.
"TIME FOR FIGHTIN'!!!!! "THEY QUICKLY START SHOOTING ALL SIDES, THE MAFIA RESPONDS WITH MACHINE GUN TURRETS. YOU, HOWEVER, ARE CAUGHT IN FRONT OF ONE OF MC BEAN'S GUN ENCAMPMENTS. YOU ARE PREDICTABLY BLOWN TO ATOMS, LEAVING NOTHING TO GAIN. BUT THE OTHERS DO NOT KNOW THAT.
RESPAWN?
CANCELD VIA DERAIL. CURSE YOU DERM
SLAP STUFF AND THINGS
ROLL:6
YOU JUST GO AND SLAP STUFF EVEN THOUGH YOU STILL AREN'T A GIANT. YOU SLAP YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER, WHO IS A MASSIVE DICK. SUCH ONE INFACT, THAT WHEN HE WAS COMPLIMENTED BY ANOTHER SWARM, HE CUT THEIR BLADE ARMS OFF. IT HEAVILY DAMAGES HIS HEAD, BUT HE IS SOMEHOW STILL CONSCIENCE. HE ORDERS YOUR DEATH BY TAXES. THEIR IS A DELAY OF TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO SO. INVOLVING IDEAS LIKE TRYING TO DEMORALIZE YOU ENOUGH FOR SUICIDE, BUT THE SCRAP THAT DUE TO YOU DOING THE KILLING.
YOU CAN STILL RUN THOUGH
murderkill someone else
AUTO
SMURTHINGTON IS NOT MOVING.
AT ALL. SO YOU DECCIDE TO LEAVE. THE UNIVERSE SHAKES, BUT IT PROBABLY DOES NOT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU BREAKING MECHANICS AND RUNNING FROM A TRAINER BATTLE. REFEREE STILL GETS PAID FOR THIS.
YOU ALSO HEAR SOMETHING SWIPE SMURTHINGTON, BUT YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT SO CALLED 'GENTELSCYTHER' HE WAS A CAD FOR ALL YOU CARED.
Dream about horrifying topics to strengthen my mind.
CATCH SCYTHERS IN POKEBALLS. CHALLENGE GYM.
SORRY, BUT THIS ISN'T SOME KIND OF MULTI ACTION NIGHTMARE. THIS IS A RESPECTABLE MINIMAL RTD. NOT LIKE SOME KIND OF REGULAR RTD IN A MINIMALISM GUISE.
PICK OR ELSE. I RECOMEND FIRST
STRANGE VOICE IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD IS CORRECT! INSTEAD RALLY THE SYTHER TROOPS AN BEGIN THE STABBING OF EARTH.
ROLL: 5
YOU MAKE A WONDERFUL SPEECH. YOU CONVINCE YOUR UNIT TO MAKE A FORTRESS AS TOO SOLIDIFY CONTROL OVER THE LAND AND EASE LOGISTICS. NOT TO TOTTALY JUST HARVEST THE ENTIRE PLANNET, NOSIREY. YOU SOON GO TO THE MAP TO PICK AN EMBARK.
IS THIS IS HOW THE PLAYERS SPEND THEIR NON-RTD TIME? PICKING EMBARKS AND WATCHING FORTRESSES GROW??? BAH, YHE DON'T CARE. ALMOST TIME!!!
Declare Myself the Messiah to a Group of Superstitious Crackheads to form a Cult. Then Rob A Bank and spread the Cult!
BECOME LEADER OF ALL CRAB FISHERS, THEN DECLARE WAR ON THE UNHOLY CRAB/SCYTHER MENACE!
GROW A THIRD LUNG TO MAXIMIZE EFFICIENCY!
kolbald. I give you a song matching the spongebob theme song in the form of eldritchsy so you can promote your suggestion game about being an eldritch abomination and THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME!?!!??
BY GIVING ME 3 POSTS FOR ACTIONS WHILE NOT SPECIFYING WHICH ONE IS CORRECT!!!! I AM ASHAMED OF YOU MAGGOT, AND YOU WILL FOREVER STEAL STUFF FROM LOW GEAR FORTS JUST TO GET SHINYS. I MAY JUST THROW YOU INTO A DIMENSION OF TOURCHER FOR THIS INSOLENCE... Replace injured arm with axe! The axe that is in me!
4
YOU ARE ENRAGED, AND ARE KILLING MANY SCYTHERS. YOU ARE SLAUGHTERING ENTIRE UNITS!!! LOOKING FOR THE ONE THAT TRIED TO KILL YOU. YOU EVENTUALLY GET YOUR INJURED BLADE ARM CUT OFF, BUT THAT WONT STOP YOU. AFTER CONSTANT FLAINLING, THE AXE FALL OUT. AND INTO THE HOLE THAT USED TO CONSTRAIN YOUR ARM. IT SEEMS AS THOUGH THE AXE IS OF DESIGN OF NEROTECH, WHICH FOR SOME REASON PUTS NEURON-CONTROLLABLE TECH IN THEIR PRODUCTS. SEEMS LIKE A WAIST OF MONEY. BUT YOU NOW HAVE AN AXE ARM. YAY.
YOU CONTINUE TO SLAUGHTER THOUGH.
Crabs. Crabs! CRABS! Buy all the crabs!
That is a reference to something by the way.
ROLL: 2
NO, YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING BRAIN CONTROLLING UNITS AND IN A SPACE SETTING. POKEMON IS ALREADY ENOUGH CRAZY FOR THIS SETTING. NOT TO MENTION THE IMPLIED CROSSOVERS WITH OTHER RTDS. YOU ARE ALSO SUPPOSED TO BE GODDAMNED SCYTHERS WITHOUT EVEN MOST STONE AGE TECH. YOU ARE ALSO SUPPOSED TO BE MOOKS.
I love CC. If only they'd update a little more often.
NEW ACTION.
COMMENCE OPERATION CRAB ROCKET
ROLL: 5
AFTER FORSEING YOUR DEATH IF YOU JUST TRY TO RUN, YOU DECCIDED TO END THIS OLD FASHION COMAND CORTEXT STYLE. NAMELY DEPLOYING IMENSE AMOUNTS OF THE FREE UNIT INTO ROCKET AND ORDERING THE DELIVERY SITE TO BE AN ENEMY POSITION. FOLLOWING UP BY THE ROCKET EXPLODING AND THE NOW DEAD CRAB UNITS' BODY PARTS ACTING LIKE PHYSICS BREAKING SHARPENAL. ANNIHILATING ANYTHING NEARBY. IT SUCCESSES. ALL THE COMBATANTS ARE KILLED EXCEPT FOR MAYBE THE DON AND DEFINITELY THE GREEN GUYS. THEY SEEM MAIMED AND IN PAIN, BUT STILL LIVE. THEIR BOSS IS NOW DEAD THOUGH
"oi. Wut 'appended? I just zaw 'is weird light come and 'en just im in pain and the rest of the boyz are real 'urt. Wez best be goinz now. RANDOM EVENT: MORE TROOPS ARE COMMING FROM THE HOMELAND!!! TOO BAD THEY ARE NEAR LYEOS "The devastator".
Author
Topic: YOU are SCYTHER (Read 12876 times)