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Author Topic: Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition  (Read 6671 times)

LordBucket

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Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition
« on: February 10, 2015, 11:26:15 pm »

Scenario 1
Girl cheats on her boyfriend by having sex with some guy. Boyfriend beats up the guy she had sex with.

Scenario 2
Girl cheats on her boyfriend by having sex with some guy. Boyfriend beats up the girl who cheated on him.

Who is worse? Why?

Answer before proceeding.

EDIT:
For clarity, yes: we're comparing scenarios: "Is the boyfriend who beats up the guy his girlfriend cheats on him with worse than the guy who beats up his girlfriend for cheating on him, or is the guy who beats up his girlfriend for cheating on him worse than the guy who beats up the guy she cheats on him with."



Spoiler: Scenarios 3 and 4 (click to show/hide)

Did your answer change between the first two and last two scenarios? if so, why?

Cheeetar

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Re: Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2015, 11:34:14 pm »

All of these people are, without context to understand the situation more, probably assholes (but especially the guy who resorts to violence.)
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Empiricist

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Re: Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition
« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2015, 11:41:00 pm »

Scenario 1-4
The boyfriend. Yes, cheating is a definite betrayal of trust, but getting violent just escalates it to something worse seeing as it's an actual indictable offense and can cause bodily harm.

Though as Cheeetar said, without knowing the context (such as whether the other person knew they were engaging in cheating or the exact circumstances and mitigating factors), everyone's probably an asshole in this scenario. Just to varying degrees.
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Reelya

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Re: Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2015, 11:50:10 pm »

I think the question is in which scenario is the boyfriend worse, not which of all the characters are. e.g. is the Scenario 1 boyfriend worse than the Scenario 2 boyfriend? Beating people up is universally loathsome, but it is valid to ask who deserves blame for cheating - your partner who cheated on you, or the random person he/she cheated with. Since the random person never promised you anything, they did nothing wrong. Your partner is the one who made the commitment, hence they're the only "cheater". You may not like the person who they cheated with on principle, but they did not have any commitment to break.

Maybe there was some ambiguity in the OP, but I'm more inclined to a reading comprehension failure in the other posters. Reading between the lines, the only reason to provide pairs of scenarios is to cross-compare the scenarios, not to make a judgement of characters within the same scenario.
« Last Edit: February 10, 2015, 11:54:20 pm by Reelya »
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Cheeetar

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Re: Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2015, 11:53:18 pm »

reading comprehension failure

What leads you to believe we're specifically asked to judge the boyfriend, and not any of the other characters?
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Reelya

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Re: Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2015, 11:54:57 pm »

Because there are alternate scenarios where the only difference is the boyfriends actions, and we're asked to compare them. "who is worse" is clearly talking about comparing Scenario 1 to Scenario 2.

Flying Dice

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Re: Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2015, 11:55:58 pm »

With the information given, the boyfriend is an equal asshole in each situation, both for immediately resorting to physical violence against someone he allegedly cares about and for abandoning the other.

That's not to say that girlfriend and friend aren't also assholes, of course, with the given information.

--

I mean, I see what you're getting at, but you probably won't catch the eye of the sort of person to have one of the mentalities you're dissecting here.
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Empiricist

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Re: Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2015, 11:58:04 pm »

Oh, oops. In that case my answer would be that they're just as worse as each other in all the scenarios seeing as either way they beat up someone up. I mean, in the first two scenarios, being prepared to harm someone you supposedly loved or just some random stranger you know little about is fucked up either way. In the last two scenarios, either situation involves attacking someone they had some sort of strong bond with.
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alexandertnt

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Re: Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition
« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2015, 12:00:08 am »

In all scenario's, Boyfriend is equally bad across each scenario, and worse than the other characters within that scenario, for resorting to violence.
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Cheeetar

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Re: Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition
« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2015, 12:03:14 am »

I'll have to echo Empiricist & alexandertnt, then. He's just as much of an asshole across the board.
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Reelya

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Re: Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition
« Reply #10 on: February 11, 2015, 12:07:04 am »

In all cases, the disproportionate response of "beating someone up" compared to what people did to him, removes any possible justification.

This shows the importance of a response being proportionate to how much someone hurt you.

~~~

It's actually more interesting if you also consider the gender-flipped variants:

A man cheats on his girlfriend. Which is worse:

- 1) girlfriend beats up the boyfriend for cheating, tells everyone about his cheating ways.

- 2) girlfriend beats up the other woman for cheating with her boyfriend, tells everyone that she's a slut.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2015, 12:11:54 am by Reelya »
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Empiricist

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Re: Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition
« Reply #11 on: February 11, 2015, 12:14:38 am »

If it was just beating one person or another up, it'd be the same for the aforementioned reasons. However, the follow-up for 2) is arguably worse since it's closer to defamation as it stretches the truth more.
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Baffler

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Re: Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition
« Reply #12 on: February 11, 2015, 12:16:19 am »

Friend is most likely a worse person than Random McStrangeGuy, but other than that there is insufficient context to judge.
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Re: Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition
« Reply #13 on: February 11, 2015, 12:39:47 am »

First set: Scenario One. His issue is with her. He has no formal relationship with the other man whatsoever, so beating him up is considerably more thuggish and pointless. Beating her up is probably not productive, but technically an interaction with somebody who has a formal relationship with him.

Second set: Scenario Three. His exclusivity is a matter between him and his girlfriend, not him and his best friend, so the same issue applies as before. That said, since they do have a formal relationship, there's much more room for ambiguity on the matter.

My answer didn't change between the sets, other than to remember that there's a fair amount of cultural wiggle room concerning, well, everything.


In that case my answer would be that they're just as worse as each other in all the scenarios seeing as either way they beat up someone up. I mean, in the first two scenarios, being prepared to harm someone you supposedly loved or just some random stranger you know little about is fucked up either way. In the last two scenarios, either situation involves attacking someone they had some sort of strong bond with.
In all scenario's, Boyfriend is equally bad across each scenario, and worse than the other characters within that scenario, for resorting to violence.
I'll have to echo Empiricist & alexandertnt, then. He's just as much of an asshole across the board.
In all cases, the disproportionate response of "beating someone up" compared to what people did to him, removes any possible justification.
What makes you say the physical aspect is disproportionate, and presumably worse than ending the relationship altogether and refusing to so much as speak to the other person afterwards?
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Cheeetar

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Re: Who is worse and why: jealousy and anger edition
« Reply #14 on: February 11, 2015, 12:47:48 am »

I'll have to echo Empiricist & alexandertnt, then. He's just as much of an asshole across the board.
What makes you say the physical aspect is disproportionate, and presumably worse than ending the relationship altogether and refusing to so much as speak to the other person afterwards?

After he's 'beat them up' it's presumed the relationship is over. To continue it beyond that point would be most likely incredibly unhealthy for both of them.
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I've played some mafia.

Most of the time when someone is described as politically correct they are simply correct.
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