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[webadict]

Granted. You are dead.

I wish I had super stretch powers.

[100killer9]

Granted. Your bones become made of Silly Putty and you collapse as a puddle.
I wish for a molecule of water to fall on me.

[Rozenbuddy]

Granted. It falls on you, and you don't benefit at all by the encounter.

I wish for 500 pieces of currency to spontaneously be created in my yard.
(be creative.)

[dragnar]

Granted. You are now 5$ richer... if you can find all the pennies, they're everywhere!

I wish I had Epic Loot/Skills(NOT skillz)/Magic.

[Tradanbattlan]

Congratulations. You get a codpiece that improves your self-esteem tenfold. In fact, it is so amazing that the girls cannot leave you alone! You invite everyone following you into a sweet party, only to be drugged and killed that night.
But it's for a good cause. Some lucky man out there has a new codpiece.

I wish for V8 juice.

[webadict]

Granted but somebody tries to make a "Shoulda had a V8" joke, and instead of hitting themselves, smacks you in the nose, and breaks it, causing a lot of blood to drip into your V8.

I wish people would break out into dance.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. Conveniently, the doctors name a new type of infection "Dance," because it causes people to move their legs uncontrollably. You just infected everyone around you with Dance.

I wish for more of this delicious blood V8.

[Cheddarius]

Granted. You are arrested and executed for cannibalism.

I wish I had more time.

[webadict]

Granted. Time stops. Permanently.

[webadict]

Granted. Time stops. Permanently.

I wish more things ended with the word permanently.

[Cheddarius]

Granted. You die. Permanently.

I wish everyone was provided with infinite, side-effect-free drugs.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. But since everyone gets one, everyone only gets one because they are difficult and expensive to make. Everyone goes into withdrawl and dies.

I wish for a duster.

[webadict]

Grant error, wisher can't read.

I wish people weren't illiterate.

[Tradanbattlan]

But withdrawl isnt a side effect, it's the lack of the drug.

[webadict]

But withdrawl isnt a side effect, it's the lack of the drug.

No, but infinite is not one. LTR.