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[A_Curious_Cat]

Granted.  But it only works when you are surrounded by liquid rock, and you’re resistant to neither heat nor pressure.

I wish to touch the stars.

[EuchreJack]

Granted. A meteorite falls on your head killing you (stardust).

I wish someone else would pay my taxes.

[Mathel]

Granted. Your employer now pays your taxes. He deduces 110% of them from your wage.

I wish for steel plated boots.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you receive a pair of boots that are sized for babies.

I wish for a whole bunch of good things.

[A_Curious_Cat]

Granted.  But they’re only “good” from someone else’s perspective.

I wish to have $1,000,000,000.

[crazyabe]

Granted, you drown in a billion dollars... of monopoly money.

I Wish I had a check worth one Billion US Dollars.

[ArchimedesWojak]

Granted, you drown in a billion dollars... of monopoly money.

I Wish I had a check worth one Billion US Dollars.

Granted. The check bounced

I wish for knowledge

[A_Curious_Cat]

Granted.  Now you wish for brain bleach!


I wish I had a ton of gold.

[Imic]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VB_GWz25B3Q&t=487s

I wish for infinite wishes.

[Mathel]

Granted. They are all granted by a Jerkass Genie.

I wish for a forcefield sword.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you receive a sword that's only able to cut through forcefields and since there are no forcefields the sword is useless.

I wish for a regular sword.

[A_Curious_Cat]

Granted.  You have a sword that kills regulars, and only regulars.  Unfortunately, they tend to be well-trained and have guns.

I wish I didn’t have to gen so many worlds to find the embark I want.

[Mathel]

Granted. But the worlds now take 7241 hours to generate on average.

I wish for a can containing exactly 4815162342 beans.

[Ultimuh]

Granted. But the can containing exactly 4815162342 beans is in another castle.

I wish to get this feeling of mild sadness and nostalgia to go away.

[Mercur]

Granted, you are now devoid of any emotions, turning you to a lifeless robot

I wish that me and my friends can have all the money in the world