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[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, however each tomato has a 50% chance of turning any wine that touches it into a vine

I wish I can always spell and pronounce words correctly

[Mathel]

Granted. Sometimes correct spelling and pronounciation does not guarantee understanding. After an incident with a moldy mold for casting a die in a die, someone senteces you to die.

I wish for at least one person to understand the first paragraph of this post.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! One person understands it, but looks too deep for meaning and gains a penchant for berserk pens.

I wish for a non-berserk pen.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted. When placed in darkness, it grows, and when it is exposed to light it emits a high pitched sound that compels whoever hears it to place it in darkness. Eventually the pen finds its way underground and grows, pushing the Earth;s crust, many years later it begins to break the crust and expose the mantle, since the magma(lava?) glows with heat, the pen continually gives its high pitched sound, heard all around the world, as the Earth eventually breaks from all the volcano eruptions and earthquakes due to the pen that feeds on darkness

I wish for more creativity

[hops]

Granted. You get ADHD.

I wish that Wish would stop showing me weird ads.

[Dustan Hache]

Granted. The company owning Wish subsequently goes bankrupt because it cannot even put up advertisements for donations.

I wish that people would think things through a bit better.

[King Zultan]

Granted, now nothing gets done as everyone is to busy thinking things through to actually do anything.

I wish for all rain to be bleach.

[Mathel]

Granted. Rain is now quite corrosive. Anything already oxidised is fine, but exposed metal and flesh is badly damaged.
However, this is not the only concern. People are fine for some time with raincoats. Then drinking water runs out. All surface and low depth water was contaminated bleach. Eventualy, all higher life-forms of Earth perish, only some extremophile bacteria surviving.

I wish for an eternal electric battery.

[hops]

Granted. It also happens to have unlimited wattage and explodes, wiping out the entire universe.

I wish for another universe.

Granted. The company owning Wish subsequently goes bankrupt because it cannot even put up advertisements for donations.

[Ibid Straydrink]

I wish for another universe.

Granted. Reality is now the 40K universe, the presiding President in our former timeline is literally the Emperor of Man.

I wish cats were sexier.

[Eschar]

The cats seduce the Pope. Massive schisms occur in protest, leading to a world war.

I wish for one (1) harmless, unharmed, unharmable friendly kitten.

[Ibid Straydrink]

The cats seduce the Pope. Massive schisms occur in protest, leading to a world war.

I wish for one (1) harmless, unharmed, unharmable friendly kitten.

Granted, kitten received. But, it's the last kitten on Earth, nay, in the multiverse. After this, you will never have another kitten.

I wish to rise from the dead as an invisible ghost that can only make Michael Jackson stage sounds.

[Mathel]

Granted. You stay alive but copies of your invisible ghost rise from all the dead that can be recognised as such, causing mass confusion. It is a one-time event, but it still takes years to exorcise most of them.

I wish to remove all corpses from the house I live in prior to said event.

[King Zultan]

Granted, the police find out about them and take them away for you, then they take you to jail for mass murder.

I wish Mathel was able to get rid of the bodies before the police arrived.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! Mathel manages to hide the bodies in a garbage can. Unfortunately, the police find the garbage can and the bodies and the chief of police promptly gets a gray beard from the stress of seeing so many bodies. Mathel is now in jail for stressing out the chief of police, since the police found Mathel's fingerprints on the garbage can.

I wish to be immune to jailors.