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[King Zultan]

Granted, we have a new ice age and everyone and everything dies.

I wish for more global warming.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! The climate swings around like a careening airplane and becomes hot enough to make the planet Venus green with envy.

I wish for Venus to have a more moderate climate.

[MaxTheFox]

Granted. A hostle alien species evolves on it and conquers Earth.

I wish for Toady to live forever so he can keep developing DF until the heat death of the universe.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! Unfortunately, he gets awfully lonely without Zach, and eventually gets all melancholy and stops developing DF anyway.

I wish for the universe to end in a big crunch instead of heat death. At least we have a second chance at existing then.

[Mathel]

Granted. It ends tommorow at 19:47 GMT.

I wish for the universe to not end.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! It becomes completely static instead; time has frozen, as though the entire universe were a black hole.

I wish for time to unfreeze.

[Ibid Straydrink]

Granted! It becomes completely static instead; time has frozen, as though the entire universe were a black hole.

I wish for time to unfreeze.

Time thaws, slowly. A single day lasts, relatively (and in your perception) for tens of years. Your days off quickly degrade from what seems like an early retirement, complete with boredom, loss of meaning, and existential dilemmas, to decade-long work days. Most people, unable to cope, commit suicide to escape the drudgery of either.

I wish the world was my oyster.

[Mathel]

Granted. Earth turns into a giant oyster. It belongs to you, but nobody cares.

I wish for 50000 normal sized pearls.

[Ibid Straydrink]

Granted. Earth turns into a giant oyster. It belongs to you, but nobody cares.

I wish for 50000 normal sized pearls.

Granted, you have 5000 normal sized pearls, lodged in your rectum.

I wish I could create incredibly valuable pearls in my lungs from all the cigarettes I smoke, occasionally coughing them up.

[King Zultan]

Granted, but you are then quickly captured by a criminal organization and kept in a cell in there basement and they force you to produce more pearls.

I wish  Ibid Straydrink was freed from the criminals that hold him captive.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, the cage comes alive, spits out the pearl producing person, and proceeds to eat the criminals

Now he has to figure out how to leave the building as other objects turn into more mimics.

I wish pyramid shaped plants exist

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! The Great Pyramid of Giza is now a carnivorous plant.

I wish for the Egyptian pyramids to be made of sandstone again.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, however, the sandstone 6hey are made of now is carved in a specific pattern and that pattern ensures that every night, every sandstone block continuously spawns Minecraft creepers

I wish that I can rewind time while retaining my memories, and that I can still move forward in time as well, also retaining my memories, and that I have control over when I rewind and go forward in time

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! Unfortunately, you end up fudging the history books so badly that you don't know what time you originally came from.

I wish for time to be a river.

[King Zultan]

Granted, but time beavers build a dam in it which causes time to stop.

I wish some one would stop the time beavers building the dam.