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[Mathel]

Granted. Whenever you touch a living creature directly, you fully restore it's bodily functions and structure. But by doing so, you take 1.3 times the damage you just healed. This is usualy fine when healing creatures significantly smaller than you, but when you use it on same weight class creatures, it gets dangerous to you.

Basicaly, when you heal a scratch, you take a deeper scratch on equivalent place of your body. If you remove poison, you get 1.3 times as much of the same poison into yourself.

If you punch somebody in the face, your nose is likely to break.

The exceptions to valid targets are: Yourself and anything that is currently inside of you.


I wish for a gun that fires knives.

[IonMatrix]

Wish granted. It is your hand.

I wish for a way to trick people into not corrupting my wishes.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted. Your wishes are corrupted by crows instead. Prepare for crows to use corruptions to turn things into crows and get people to think they are crows

I wish crows gain the intelligence of humans and learn our various languages

[Mathel]

Granted. They use their newfound intelligence to endlessly troll humans.

I wish for IonMatrix to turn into a raven.

[King Zultan]

Granted, and when he's flying one day he gets sucked into a plane engine and becomes a fine red mist.

I wish the raven IonMatrix didn't get sucked into an airplane engine.

[Superdorf]

Granted! It's a jet engine.

I wish for a live duck to appear from thin air every time I say the word "duck".

[Mathel]

Granted. It appears out of thin air, thus appearing somewhere, where there is no thin air.
Vacuum, pressurised gas (over 200KPa), liquids, solids, plasma, einstein-bose condensate; these are possible mediums where the ducks may appear. But they always appear closer than 20m to Superdorf, though never within him. Other creatures are not protected (not even ducks).
When a duck appears within any material, the material is pushed out of the way, likely rupturing solids.

I wish for Superdorf to be unable to get closer to me than 1km, my movement not being restricted and allowing me to push him around if I try to get closer to him.

[IonMatrix]

Wish granted! You two are i  two different panes of alternate realities, so it doesn't really matter.

I wish to avenge my raven morph and bomb that jet.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you get revenge on the jet by using it for 9/11 2: Electric Boogaloo.

I wish for 65 Zebras!

[IonMatrix]

Granted. They all suddenly appear 1000 meters directly above you, and you are locked in place.

I wish King Zultan had some way to escape those falling zebras.

[Mathel]

Granted. He can teleport them above you while keeping their momentum. Whether or not they actually hit you depends on how far you are from him.

I wish for witchers to be real.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! However, they are witches instead of witch hunters.

I wish for the firemen to be actual firemen.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, the humans burn, the flames retaining their shape, the rubber and metal melting among them. Every fire station is burned due to these fire elementals

I wish spellcheck/prinouncistion check happened in speech

[pikachu17]

Granted. But, as seen in your post, they no longer work at all in text.

I wish that I was the king of the forest.

[IonMatrix]

Wish granted. Then the lion challenges you to a honor duel.