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[pikachu17]

'disesase' does not exist. This genie decides to make 'disesase cures' mean atomic explosion. Only places that don't have any ranged weapons at all are not wiped off the map.

I wish for the destruction of everything in the known universe.

[Dunamisdeos]

Your perception of reality is mortal, and therefore flawed and limited. The only thing you truly know is yourself. You are erased.

I wish for a pet iguana.

[MaxTheFox]

Granted. You do not know how to care for it and it lives a short and miserable life.

I wish I was able to chainsaw Nazis to death with no repercussions.

[Mathel]

Granted. You are transported to 6th June 1944 Normandy, and given 1 fully juiced up combustion engine chainsaw. Good hunting.

I wish for cushions with X-Com: UFO Defence Reapers printed on them.

[King Zultan]

Granted, but there was a mess up at the factory so you got Reapers with cushions panted on them instead, hope you like hostile aliens.

I wish for cushions.

[Dunamisdeos]

Granted, your ass is now the size of a honda civic. It quickly necrotizes due to lack of blood flow.

I wish for a less horrific fate.

[Superdorf]

Granted! You are decapitated. Much less horrific.

I wish for a Honda Civic.

[Dunamisdeos]

Granted! You are decapitated. Much less horrific.

[Cannot dispute]

[pikachu17]

Granted! You are decapitated. Much less horrific.

I wish for a Honda Civic.

It lands on your head.

I wish for a muffin.

[Superdorf]

Granted! The muffin was baked by an eight-year old girl, and she put three or four times as much sugar in there as was needed. It's not so much a "muffin" as it is a "caramelized brick in a wrapper". You can kind of pretend it's hard candy, if you don't think about it too hard...

I wish for a caramelized brick in a wrapper.

[Naturegirl1999]

Congratulations, a brick covered in caramel, in a wrapper, falls through the roof of your house and destroys your refrigerator

I wish for consistancy

[Superdorf]

Granted! The fundamental laws of physics shift in critical ways, and the universe reorganizes itself into a uniform and inert state. The cosmos is perfectly consistent, existence is perfectly monotonous, and humanity is perfectly dead. Hooray!

I wish for a snow globe.

[Dunamisdeos]

The Super Grandoise Post-It Confluence of Elder Stickynote Lords restructures the universe into a more standard design in order to allow the existence of objects such as snow globes. Also, you have been shrunk and you live in a snow globe now. A wire is crossed and it plays nothing but Christmas chiptunes all the time, forever.

I wish to sleep.

[pikachu17]

You sleep forever, a dreamless sleep. No practical difference between it and death.

I wish that I had a sword.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, it spawns in place of one of your lungs
I wish for people to be less dumb