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[King Zultan]

Granted, but the useless facts are the only thing you can recall as they have replaced all of your memories.

I wish that Half-Life 3 would get released already.

[pikachu17]

It's a worse disappointment the Duke Nekum Forever.

I wish that Half-Life 3 would get released tomorrow, and be an incredibly good game.

[Ultimuh]

Granted but the world ends a few seconds before the game's release.

I wish to have quality memes ready for every situation possible.

[pikachu17]

Situations are no longer possible, because the universe has exploded.

I wish that I had a loyal and friendly pet Blastoise.

[Superdorf]

Granted. It's quite friendly with other Pokemon and very loyal indeed... to someone else. The Blastoise blasts through the wall of your house and escapes in search of its former master, causing chaos and destruction wherever it goes.

I wish for my nose to grow three inches longer.

[pikachu17]

You were telling someone "I am a regular human, and not some kind of shapeshifter!" right when your nose grows three inches.

I wish Superdorf's skin then immediately turned light blue.

[Mathel]

Granted. Since Pinnocio's skin color does not change, the person Superdorf is talking to realises, that Superdorf is being set up.

I wish to be able to change other people's hair color at will to any color I can imagine.

[pikachu17]

Granted. Since Pinnocio's skin color does not change, the person Superdorf is talking to realises, that Superdorf is being set up.

(Nothing to do with pinnochio in this case, it just undermined his statement that he is human and not a shapeshifter.)

I wish to be able to change other people's hair color at will to any color I can imagine.

You are no longer able to imagine any color other than ones that make you nauseous.

[Puppyguard]

The genie smiles at you whilst waiting for your wish. You sit there in front of him for hours. Eventually his smile droops, and he says "Yeah nevermind" and floats away.

I wish for useless facts, provided they don't harm me or those around me.

[Superdorf]

Hm... granted. You gleefully spend hours surfing TVTropes. Sadly, though the useless facts you obtain thereby are in themselves perfectly benign, you grow heavily addicted to the very search for them, and the rest of your life begins to suffer as a result.

Hopefully you'll escape before it's too late.

Hopefully.

I wish for 5 pounds of birdseed and a ham sandwich.

[drilltooth]

you receive five pounds of hog feed, and what you can only hope is a turkey sandwich.

I wish I had a nice pair of shoes.

[methylatedspirit]

Granted, but the shoes will strangle your feet to death if you get them even slightly dirty.

I wish I could actually remember my dreams.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, you now wish you couldn't.


I wish for a random person's wish in this thread to be granted again.

[KittyTac]

Granted. Your moonbase depressurizes as a result of a micrometeorite impact, killing you.

I wish for kittens.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you get some little plastic kittens.

I wish everyone in the world was a wizard.