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[King Zultan]

Granted, but one day with a passing thought you wonder what's in the necronomicon, and with in an instant you know everything contained within and immediately go insane.

I wish for moon to be replaced by a giant pickle.

[Cadeyrn Heffernan]

Granted, but it shouts that it's pickle rick, and the fanbase goes even more berserk than they did over that stupid sauce.

I wish that fanbases didn't get toxic

[Rubidium]

(bump)

Granted. All fanbases are calm now, but there are no fanbases for people to make memes of now.

I wish I had a lot of money.

[GigaGiant]

Granted. Unfortunately,  the IRS got a tip about all this money you mysteriously received. To evade them, you start living in the woods and become a hermit.

I wish the IRS was disbanded.

[wierd]

Granted. The IRS, with its antiquated revenue tracking systems, legacy requirements, and obstructing red tape is disbanded.

It is replaced by the Assured Securities System (ASS). This system intercepts *ALL* payroll, and rather than being paid at the end of each week, you are paid at the end of each year, after an automated system processes your tax withholdings. Your deductions are automatically entered by the government, based on what you report on your census data, every 10 years. You are automatically allocated max deductions. You can only update your vital statistics every 10 years when the census person arrives; so be sure to catch him when he does.

[GigaGiant]

I wish that GigaGiant was given all my belongings.

Granted. Thanks for all the stuff.

I wish that people stopped forgetting to make wishes.

[Rockeater]

Granted but people are too lazy to think wishes of their own and copy old ones.

I wish I won the top prize at the swedish lottery.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted, but some marmots crawl out of the wormhole you opened to 2007 and eat you.

I wish to open a wormhole to 2029.

[wierd]

Granted but due to the necessity to prevent paradoxes, it opens to an alternative universe inhabited by culturally evolved neanderthals instead of descendents of cromagnon.  They find you horribly unattractive, and their cultural norms are not wholly compatible with our own species', making the usefulness of this wormhole rather suspect.

I wish my co-worker would stop bitching.

[Rockeater]

Granted,They stopped bitchin and filed a complaint,when this didn't work they appealed to their superior's,when that didn't worked they began strikes,from this the path to civil war was inevitable.

I wish I would live on a colony on the moon humans built.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but over time members of the colony start disappearing, and eventually only you are left.
And moon spiders eat you.

I wish to go back in time to save rockeater from the moon spiders by preventing him from wishing he'd wanted to live on a moon colony.

[Eric Blank]

Granted, but instead he wishes for a mars colony. Now you are being eaten by mars spiders.

I wish it would stop snowing, at least for a couple days

[Maximum Spin]

You are transported to Mars, where it does not snow. Puppyguard and Rockeater lead the Mars spiders right to you.

I wish I had a cheese.

[Eschar]

It's made from human milk. You become disgusted with yourself.

I wish for the commercial game industry to become completely forgotten as the legend of DF and NetHack increases.

[KittyTac]

Granted. This causes lots of people to bankrupt themselves. Feeling so good now?

I wish that Roblox and its source code, and ONLY Roblox and its source code to be overwritten with Dwarf Fortress. I don't care if this makes kids cry.