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[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, big crunch happens instead. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Crunch Luickly cosmic space faeries transported all sentiant life into a seperate universe to avoid casualties becuse I am super nice.

I wish super kind , powerful cosmic space faeries actually exist and are awake and aware with pacifsitic tendancies.

[Gigabytebob]

Granted but there body temp is so hot it melts people

i wish lion tigers and all big cats were combined into one creature that looks normal 4 legs 2 eyes ect

[Eric Blank]

Granted. It has the physical strength and social cooperation of a lion, the speed of a cheetah, and gives as few fucks about the concept of "humans are dangerous i should avoid them" as tigers in southeast asia do, and instead actively hunt people whenever they can get away with it. Oh, and theyre spread across the world now, as theyre replacing all big cat populations completely. Thanks, we really needed this right now.

I wish the wildlife would have zero fear or interest in interacting with me or my family, so i dont have to deal with this new bullshit. Also because ive always wanted to hug a raccoon but without the face mauling part

[MoonyTheHuman]

Granted. The tame cat across the corner mauls your face instead.

I wish for CATS

[Gigabytebob]

Granted (prepare for some really old shitty joke) now all your base are belong to them

i wish you could turn wood into a liquid if you heat it fast enough before it turns to ash

[Eric Blank]

Granted. Now my family freezes to death because it liquifies too easily and we cant get it to burn reliably.

I wish for free, infinite propane for my household to rectify this

[Paxiecrunchle]

granted your house is now covered by a spring of infinite propane, completely uncontained, unfortunately for the whole world lightning strikes your portch and nowand endless fire is threatening to devour the world, I bet you feel good about that one.

I wish my alien son woud merge with the space faeries in order to save us al from the mega fire and the superpanthers.

[Mathel]

Granted. Your alien son merged with space fairies breaks into Tartarus and takes Sysyphoses boulder. Then he katamaries all the superpanthers with it and plugs the spring of prophane, starving the fire. Unfortunately, this means that Tartarus is now open and all those souls that were being punished there roam the world.

I wish to split Paxiecrunchle's merged son back into an alien and a set of space faeries.

[Eric Blank]

nowand endless fire is threatening to devour the world, I bet you feel good about that one.

The world can kiss my warm and comfy ass.




Granted. They go their separate ways. The faeries to torment some poor travellers and the son to torment you for ending his cool space magic gig.


I wish i had $3k right now

[King Zultan]

Granted, you get the $3k by robing convenient stores and Liquor stores, you are now a wanted man.

I wish that eclipse would happen again and I could see it.

[Mathel]

Granted. You can see the next eclipse of Earth <-> Sun <-> Saturn from around 10.12.2017 till around New Year. Enjoy.

I wish to have an epic hammer.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. You get a wax hammer with the Odyssey inscribed into it. You must never touch it, or you will ruin the calligraphy.

I wish for female affection

[Gigabytebob]

Granted you get "affection" from a succubus she then drinks your blood ALL of it your dead

I wish my conspiracy theory is true that toady REALLY IS A DWARF and dwarf fortress is based on real events and that toady managed to escape his world before it was destroyed by the god of blood ARMOK and he wants to tell his story but he cant draw to much attention or ARMOK will found out and destroy this world

[pikachu17]

He draws too much attention. Armok kills you. Horribly.

I wish I had a working jet pack.

[Gigabytebob]

Granted it loses fuel mid flight and fall to your death

I wish Chinese static mice would stop existing