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[Ultimuh]

Granted. They turn to ash in direct sunlight.


I wish Liches were catchable with Pokeballs.

[pikachu17]

Granted. But it causes no loyalty in the lich, and they can break out whenever they want. Congratulations, you just pissed off an undead wizard.

I wish Sir Terry Pratchet was still alive, without dementia and Alzheimer's, and continued to write good Disc-world books.

Granted. But these discs are serrated and he frisbees Puppyguard with them.

I wish to teleport to Ankh-Morpork, not telefragging anything, nor being telefragged. I am to understand whatever language they use, and any money I have on me is to be converted to it's equivalent (based on cost of bread) in AM Tolars.

What are Tolars? I'm pretty sure there are no Tolars in Discworld.

[Stirk]

Granted! He is now a zombie that goes around devouring brains. With the knowledge he has ingested, he is capable of writing good Disc-world books. Roughly one per hundred brains.

I wish that a zombie apocalypse would happen, but only in North Korea.

[Sir Elventide]

Granted but the zombie plague spreads across the world. What, did you actually think that zombies care about nationalities?

I wish that the undead love me enough to avoid eating me.

[Lordfiscus]

Okay, the undead eat everyone else. You're now surrounded by mindless corpses who will eventually starve to death AND the last living person.

I wish I could cast spells in the form of a programming language. That is, the spells are built in the style of a program.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but while learning the language you screw up your life in ways beyond mortal comprehension due to errors in spellcodes.

I wish for a nice tasty honecomb

[Stirk]

Granted! It comes with FREE BEES! I am not sure what you expected.

I wish that zombies would both care about nationalities and be incredibly patriotic.

[Rethi-Eli]

Wish granted. Nazi zombies are now a thing, and those C-rate movies about them are a horrible horrible reality filled with cringe-worthy puns by the all too young "heroes".

I wish all awful movies ever made were wiped from reality.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, the funny people who mock them now enter politics instead

I wish for Undertale sequels.

Granted! It comes with FREE BEES! I am not sure what you expected.

Joke's on you! Bees make honeycombs more delicious!

[Sir Elventide]

Granted but Papyrus, Sans, and Friends won't be in it. Instead, you get to play as a series of random people who get brutally slaughtered when Chara invades the human world.

I wish that zombies fall in love with Puppyguard.

[Mathel]

Granted. Then Zombie Puppyguard and the Zombies come knocking on your door.

I wish to have a pet swamp dragon.
((

Granted. But it causes no loyalty in the lich, and they can break out whenever they want. Congratulations, you just pissed off an undead wizard.

I wish Sir Terry Pratchet was still alive, without dementia and Alzheimer's, and continued to write good Disc-world books.

Granted. But these discs are serrated and he frisbees Puppyguard with them.

I wish to teleport to Ankh-Morpork, not telefragging anything, nor being telefragged. I am to understand whatever language they use, and any money I have on me is to be converted to it's equivalent (based on cost of bread) in AM Tolars.

What are Tolars? I'm pretty sure there are no Tolars in Discworld.

It may be a translation error, but in czech translation, tolars are mentioned in Snuff.
Looking at the wiki, $AM or Ankh Morpork Dollar is the english version of the currency.
The translaters probably just used the czech word, which means basically the same thing. It even has the same base.))

[Madman198237]

Granted! It is insanely well-trained and will never intentionally harm you!

And then one day, it sneezes. In your wooden house. While looking at you.


I wish for a loyal, careful, Smaug as an underling, in a fireproof house.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but it also comes with smaug's mother, who is NOT loyal nor careful. Your house burns down and she takes smaug away.

I wish for a pet white dragon.

[Stirk]

Granted! It turns out that "White Dragon" is a rank in a random KKK branch. Good luck explaining that pet to everyone.

I wish to be the very best, like no one ever was.

[Mathel]

Granted. You are the very best at falling into holes.

I wish for Madman198237 to get a new house, which, unlike his fireproof one, can not be burnt down.