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[Puppyguard]

Granted, brutha! you gain tha' utmost respect in da hood' yo.
But you become the most wanted person alive. As soon as you leave the gang-infested neighborhood you are caught in a cage and shipped off to life-time prison. They test experimental medicine on you to keep you living a long, painful life in prison.

I wish for a puppy.

[crazyabe]

Granted, you get a Puppy Shoved up your Arse.


I Wish I had the power to make animals spontaneously appear in Puppyguard.

[Mallos]

Granted, you get a Puppy Shoved up your Arse.


I Wish I had the power to make animals spontaneously appear in Puppyguard.

Granted. You now can make animals spontaneously appear inside Puppyguard, but it's actually an alternate universe version of him that you can otherwise not interact with in any way, shape, or form. You can't even be fully certain your power works.

I wish everyone in the world was happy.

[WillowLuman]

(Damnit, got called away before I could post)

Wish granted. Your hands must molt every month or so, leaving piles of nasty, smelly, crusty lizard skin everywhere.

I wish for falcon eyes

Granted. You've got bowls and bins of them lying about on every surface but you just haven't been able to find anything else that shares a useful alchemic effect with them, and so they go unbrewed.

Granted, you get a Puppy Shoved up your Arse.


I Wish I had the power to make animals spontaneously appear in Puppyguard.

Granted. You now can make animals spontaneously appear inside Puppyguard, but it's actually an alternate universe version of him that you can otherwise not interact with in any way, shape, or form. You can't even be fully certain your power works.

I wish everyone in the world was happy.

Granted. Everyone is high on soma now.

I wish for a skin care product to deal with the consequences of my previous wish.

[Rethi-Eli]

Wish granted. The lizard hands go away, but the skin care product is made of dead fetus juice mixed with ape feces and left to fester for a few weeks in an especially hot and humid greenhouse. It smells so bad that you have to wear a mask and can't go out in public until the treatment is over.

It lasts for three months.

You lose all of your social skills, most of your friends, and get completely out of shape. You lose any job you may or may not have, and your diet consists of whatever you can find in your pantry that can be eaten without using hands.

You're changed for life, and not for the better.

I wish for a puppy

[Mathel]

Granted. It is a Hellhound puppy. It burns down everything around.

I wish to gain all abilities the Flash has, without taking damage related to gaining them.

[Puppyguard]

Granted. But you forgot to specify which flash! you become TM71 Flash! You don't take any damage besides transforming into a disk.

I wish for a puppy.

[CABL]

Granted. It's a demonic, fire-breathing puppy. It accidentally burns you to ash.

I wish I had a goatee.

Spoiler: About that mess (click to show/hide)

greatorder has "Fapmaster Supreme" as his personal text (and also created "Order of Fap" in one epic RTD), ChairmanPoo has creepy af tongue girl as his avatar, and you can't stand the words like "cumming" and "fap"? Also, I have nothing against those forumites whom I mentioned.

[Mathel]

Granted. You grow an epic goatee. Now everyone thinks you are evil, because you have a goatee.

I wish to gain super speed with all the needed support abilities. (Immunity to heat by friction for me and carried and worn items, infinite friction on shoes, ability to breathe in extreme wind, breaking the law of conservation of energy by not needing to eat more than usual, any other that are needed for me to use the super speed without damaging myself or my things.)

[Stirk]

Granted. You are arrested for possession, and the cops take your meth.

My wish is that the next user would make their wish in a foreign language.

[Mathel]

Splněno.

Přeju si, aby si tu lidé přestali přát pořád dokola štěňata.

((Mimochodem, kdo mě posedl?))

[Mallos]

Granted. People stop wishing for puppies, but everyone knows Bay12ers are not people.

I wish for a puppy.

[Imic]

Granted, but it has no soul. A soulless puppy for a soulless thing.
I wish that the afterlife was definately a thing. I mean, I'm fairly sure it's a thing, but I'd like to be sure that it is.

[Lenglon]

Granted, heaven has been full for milennia, but theres always growth room in hell. everyone is going there now.

I wish to understand hate.

[Mallos]

Granted.

I wish for the next wish to be that the previous wish was never granted.