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[Stirk]

Granted! You get a Windows OS phone!

I wish that Microsoft would go to war with Apple!

[Puppyguard]

Granted. The war starts with similar products, then outright patents of phones. No one can use a phone and apple employees will murder microsoft workers and windows users on sight. The same is for microsoft employees. Linux becomes outlawed in the war.
You're one of the first to die in the war.

I wish for the next posters wish to become corrupted.

[Rethi-Eli]

Wish granted.

I wish that nothing bad ever happens to Puppyguard.

[Puppyguard]

Granted. The emotion 'bad' is removed from your brain so it seems like nothing bad can happen to puppyguard.

I wish for a million dollars.

[Rethi-Eli]

Wish granted. The government immediately takes you in custody, wondering where you got the money. If you lie, they'll figure it out with ease. If you tell the truth, they won't believe you. If you say nothing, you're likely to be arrested!

I wish for a steady job with benefits, good pay, and no risk of injury or health problems to myself.

[Mallos]

Granted. Congratulations on becoming an accountant.

I wish for everything to be a Jojo reference.

Granted. Vendémiaire is now shitty supervillain month. Too bad the French Revolutionary Calendar isn't used anymore, so it never actually occurs.

I wish for the destruction of all life.

Granted. Finn and Jake will go home to Ooo

I was hoping someone would get that.

[Puppyguard]

Granted. Everything becomes a Jojo reference!
But everyone also forgets what Jojo is and all media about it is deleted permanently. So no one gets the references.

I wish everyone knew about dwarf fortress.

[Mallos]

Granted. Everything becomes a Jojo reference!
But everyone also forgets what Jojo is and all media about it is deleted permanently. So no one gets the references.

I wish everyone knew about dwarf fortress.

Granted. Everyone knows about Dwarf Fortress, but only because they hate it so. Despite it's quality and content, it is hailed as the worst game to ever exist.

I wish for my wish to never be granted.

[Puppyguard]

Not Granted.

I wish for dwarf fortress to gain lots of GOOD popularity.

[Rethi-Eli]

Wish granted. The DF community is quickly filled with 11 year olds who can't run a fort for more than a month and are illiterate as they come. The Bay12 forums become a sea of spam and cancerous content, and Toady weeps at what his creation has become.

I wish I was better at everything.

[Puppyguard]

The DF community is quickly filled with 11 year olds who can't run a fort for more than a month and are illiterate as they come. The Bay12 forums become a sea of spam and cancerous content, and Toady weeps at what his creation has become.

Sigged.

Granted. You become better at everything. Everyone gets so jealous you wind up dead in a dumpster.

I wish for a donut.

[Mathel]

Granted. It is coated with chocolate with KCN.

I wish I did not waste about 10 papers on printing a 4 page document because of a symbol on 2nd page.

[Eric Blank]

Granted, but the document will now only print in comic sans.

I wish I wasnt such a wimp

[Puppyguard]

Granted. You now have a fleshy sign permanently strapped to your back that melts shirts so it can be seen that reads "Not a Wimp"

I wish I didn't spend so much time in this thread.

[Rethi-Eli]

Wish granted. You create a new "corrupt a wish" thread and compulsively check it for replies every five minutes. Too bad that it only gets three replies, two of which are simply stating that you made a rip-off thread, until the thread is locked due to you fervently defending your thread using death threats, obscenities about people's mothers, and some illegal spyware download links.

I wish for cake but not the nasty kind with too much frosting