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[crazyabe]

Granted, you wash your laundry in the blood of virgins, incidentally that stains it all an ugly brown and leaves it with the smell of blood.


I Wish The wish granter's Fridge was literally running from them.

[Shoruke]

Granted. Having recently granted a wish, your fridge is now physically running away from you. Some lady calling herself Baba Yaga is also leaving creepy letters in your mailbox.

I wish for a boat house. House boat. Whatever you call those boats that are houses. I wish for one.

[Mathel]

Granted. You now own  boathouse. It is parked in an underground parking lot.

I wish for the person granting this wish to have read or read Homestuck.

Edit: Internet failed in the middle of posting and I thought it did not post.

[Mathel]

Granted. You now own a boathouse. It is parked in an underground parking lot.

I wish for the person granting this wish to read Homestuck.

[crazyabe]

Granted, I already read the Whole thread about it here, Doesn't that count?


I Wish the Person granting this wish to have their home repossessed by ghosts.

[DolosusDoleus]

Granted. Now that ghosts have taen over my house, I need somewhere else to live. You don't mind being evicted, right? Your house is my house now.

I wish for Marvel or to release a movie which isn't a complete clusterfuck for once.

[Ultimuh]

Granted. Every Superhero movie is now all about drama and sitcom-like situations.
With all of the neat, funny, and superheroic stuff stripped out.


I wish my computer was what is now here in 2017, considered "High-end".

[AzyWng]

Granted. Computer manufacturers lower their standards. Significantly. Your machine remains the exact same, while the previous "high-end" machines get put into a much more expensive price bracket.

I wish people wouldn't phrase their sentences in confusing and/or ambiguous ways.

[Shoruke]

I wish for the next poster to reword my wish in such a way that said wish is unambiguous.

Granted.

I wish for soft throw blankets.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted. They are contaminated with various diseases which cause incredible pain, loss of identity, and eventually death.

I wish for a healthy, unharmful meal I can eat.

[Mathel]

Granted. Enjoy your pile of roasted ants.

I wish to be better at being a GM.

[vkiNm]

Granted, everyone wants to play your games. The thread gets overcrowded and people started to shitpost and fight.
Toady locks your game threads and perma bans you for inducing toxic behaviors.


I wish for a piece of pizza of my favorite topping choice that never runs out.

[Shoruke]

(did you mean you never run out of pizza, or just that topping...?)
Granted. You get infinite pizza of your choice, but all pizza you get this way is made entirely of long-expired ingredients. It tastes awful and makes you sick.

I wish for a million Canadian dollars.

[Ultimuh]

Granted. Unfortunately, they all burn up in a fire three years ago.

I wish for the equivalent worth of one billion US dollars, in gold bars.
They should appear here in my apartment. And in such a way that I wouldn't be directly, or indirectly, harmed by them.

[crazyabe]

Granted, Your Apartment is buried under Fort Knox and No one believes the Gold in it belongs to you.


I Wish it rained Gold bars, Literally.