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[Maegil]

Granted, you get the one who not only once again increased the certainty on the position stated in my sig, but led me to write the following:

Pah! She's not worth a drop of my effort. Best thing I did was kicking the expensive manipulative psycho bitch from hell out of my life; the second best was becoming a misogynistic philanderer and start using dating sites as women catalogues when I'm in the mood for company.

I wish for the collapse of the concepts of copyright, trade marks, and patents.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted, now big companies simply kill off those who infringe on their work and concepts. Captain Morgan has noticed your avatar and put a bounty on you, have fun!

I wish Hell was a nice place.

[Maegil]

The touristy parts at least are actually much better than heaven. Do you wish to apply for citizenship?...

I wish music wasn't doing downhill since Brahms.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted. It is now stagnant and unchanging forevermore.

I wish music only ever improved.

[Maegil]

Denied. It's impossible to get any better after Mozart and Beethoven; any changes are necessarily a decline.

I wish people wouldn't mistake "popular" for "good".

[NJW2000]

Granted, people now mistake "critically acclaimed" for good, and snobbish is the new cool.

I wish that there were more Maori jazz groups.

[Maegil]

Granted, all Maori musicians form jazz groups and UNESCO cries bitter tears over the final demise of the Maori culture.

I wish UNICEF would impose the Finnish education system as the new worldwide paradigm.

[Eric Blank]

Granted, but it still doesn't fix stupid.

I wish for love and hope

[Imic]

Divorce and unexpected technical failiure causing everyone to die.
I wish that I was a god.

[NathanBros]

Granted, you cease to exist.

I wish religions could be trusted.

[Maegil]

Granted, they can be trusted to swindle people into thinking they're right and are needed.

I wish I were more inspired.

[S34N1C]

Granted. You are inspired to play games and do nothing.

I wish I didn't have to take my midterms.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted. You are expelled and sent to Guantanamo Bay due to a case of mistaken identity.

I wish I could be awesome.

[NJW2000]

Granted. You die steering an airship full of sentient Nazi hammerhead sharks into a volcano.

I wish I had an airship crewed by sentient (non-Nazi) hammerhead sharks.

[Maegil]

Granted. They decide to put some punk-goth-heavy metal, and the airship comes apart from all the literal headbanging. You die as it falls into a volcano.

I wish I weren't an insomniac.