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[Dani]

Granted. You are now in all of the games and have to resort to sleepless one-word posting to keep up with them all. Also, your keyboard breaks periodically.

I wish for the body of a Grecian god.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. Its the corpse of Zeus. Other gods see you standing above it and assume you killed him.
BOOOM.

I wish for my laptop to be fixed.

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted, you are now drawn into the inescapable vortex that is the entirety of the internet.

I wish for prions.

[Tawa]

Granted. You catch mad cow disease, which then evolves into the plague seen in Zombieland.

Have fun getting your skull cracked by Woody Harrelson!

I wish for black coffee.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. It fills your room and then house, drowning you and your family in the process.

I wish for Sanic.

[FArgHalfnr]

Granted. It fills your room and then house, drowning you and your family in the process.

I wish for Sanic.

Granted, but He is so fast that he breach the sound barrier in your house, causing a deafening blast that makes everything that isn't nailed down fall over and break every window. You would've heard "UR 2 SLOW!!" a few seconds after he left if you weren't deaf from the blast.

I wish that those pesky heroes would go bother somebody else.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. They do, and then they come back even more powerful. Your doom is at hand, evildoer!

I wish to be the best evildoer!

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted, but since you're so good at doing evil, you're also the target for every single hero in the multiverse. Have fun.

I wish to fold a Sonobé Hectohedron.

[FArgHalfnr]

Granted, but since you're so good at doing evil, you're also the target for every single hero in the multiverse. Have fun.

I wish to fold a Sonobé Hectohedron.

Granted, You start working full time on it, but you never seem to get it right. After decades and thousands of thousands of failed attempts, you finally succeed. However, your efforts drove you completely mad years ago and you continue your task until death without realizing your success.

I wish monocles to be popular again.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted, they're so popular that everybody must own the, by law. Poor people are slaughtered and imprisoned in droves.

I wish to be a decent GM.

[TalonisWolf]

 You get stuck in mediocre GMness, always stuck beneath those greater than yourself.

  I wish for my wish to be corrupted.

[heydude6]

Granted, once you make a wish worth corrupting then we'll corrupt it.

I wish people stopped wishing for their wishes to be corrupted

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted, they wish for real life to be corrupted instead. Something answers.

I wish for magical girls.

[FArgHalfnr]

Granted, they wish for real life to be corrupted instead. Something answers.

I wish for magical girls.

Granted. All girls suffering from morbid obesity are given magical powers. They loose these powers as soon as they become thinner, however.

I wish that the next person to answer will make two wish.

Edit: And also ebola

[DreamCarver]

Granted, but one of the two wishes catches the virus and dies. The media panics for a few days, but then forgets all about it.

I wish for straight A's.