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[Eric Blank]

Granted, but it is raining so it is quickly put out.

I wish there was gold in them hills.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, but your outside and its raining heavily.

I wish for everyone to gaze into my chocolate eyes.

[Andres]

Granted. However, thanks to Obomacare, it is filled with placebo pills. You where warned this would happen!

I live in Australia...... -_-

Granted. Soon, the chocolate starts melting and you're left with only empty holes where your eyes should be.

I wish to meaningfully or perhaps unmeaningully connect with someone at night time.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. You managed to connect to the bay12 servers. Congratulations!

I wish for cute girls who didn't get turned into swiss cheese a century ago.

[nomoetoe]

granted, there 12 years old.

I wish for someone to love me with the frenzy of 1000 chimps.

[Stirk]

I live in Australia...... -_-

Do you think that will stop OBOMBA!? He will take all your guns and medicine away, especially if you are not in the US!

Granted. You accidentally connect (Unmeaningully) with a random stranger's knife in a back alley.

Granted. It is your mommy. But not in a dirty way.

I wish that the dictator of North Korea would challenge me to an honer duel with pistols.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. Whether you win or not, you get shot and north Korea is stuck with a hideous government, bass-ackwards technology and information and starvation.

I wish for delicious tacos for our north Korean friends.

[Andres]

Granted. They are all eaten by Kim Jong Un. All of them.

I wish to prepare a stew.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, the stew is made of your own entrails.

I wish someone who's not me, would eat the stew.

[IronTomato]

Granted, it's your doppelgänger and you can feel everything he feels.

I wish you would put dispenser here.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but he's on the other team, so you can't use it.

I wish I got more sleep.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, but he's on the other team, so you can't use it.

I wish I got more sleep.

Granted, you get put inside an experimental cryostasis chamber and sleep away a few hundred years and when you awake up in some kind of sexy wasteland.

I wish to stalk like a lizard of the night.

[hops]

Granted. The lizard turns out to be SCP-682 and he eats you.

I wish for $5000

[Eric Blank]

Granted. I steal it and use it to have electricity installed at my place of residence.

I wish for more internet time.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, your brain is uploaded to the web and open-sourced.

I wish to become one of those austere, frowny supervillains.