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[WillowLuman]

Granted, here's a chainsaw.

I wish for some pins to juggle.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. You drop them. All of them. Into your eyes.

I wish for better insulation.

[Stirk]

Granted. You are now a Walrus.

I wish to own more guns than all of the worlds armed forces combined.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, they fall from the clouds above your house.

I wish for awesomesauce.

[nomoetoe]

Granted. It's very awesome, so amazingly awesome! OMA ITS SO AWESOME! too bad its in a bottle made of plutonium that you can't seem to open.

I wish to wield my passion like an axe.

[Stirk]

Granted. You wield your passion like a guitar, which you cannot harm anything with.

I wish I had a long enough attention span to finish this wi

[Andres]

Granted but you are directed to this thread for stealing the wishes from another poster.
Granted. All of your present and future attention span will go into finishing that wish.

I wish for chilled yogurt.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, it's Yahtzee's carnivorous yogurt.

I wish for spiders.

[hops]

Granted.

I wish for an anime with guns and cute boys.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. The cute boys are murdering each other.

I wish the mushrooms growing in my pasture were magic mushrooms. So I can sell them.

[Andres]

Granted, it's Yahtzee's carnivorous yogurt.

That was actually carnivorous jam - not yogurt.

Granted. You are arrested by the police for selling 'shrooms.

I wish to get my prescription filled.

[Stirk]

I wish for an anime with guns and cute boys.

I would link you to some, but unfortunately have absolutely no idea what constitutes "cute" for an anime boy.

Granted. However, thanks to Obomacare, it is filled with placebo pills. You where warned this would happen!

I wish to steel Objective's anime with cute boys murdering each other for myself.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. Your DVD player can't read steel discs.

I wish for cute girls.

[Stirk]

Granted. Unfortunately, they are all part of the German Army near the end of WWI.

I wish my DVD player could play steel disks.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, they're all babies and you are legally obligated to look after them for 8 weeks.
Granted, but steel disks contain no data, so there's not much to watch.

I wish to light my hair on fire.